


Fanboy

by arkhamcycle



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Meta, Social Media, Viktor spelled with a k, copious wattpad usage, everyone's ages both individually and relative to each other are completely screwed, kind of, more character tags to be added probably, someone please run me over with a humvee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2018-09-09 11:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 61,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8889511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arkhamcycle/pseuds/arkhamcycle
Summary: "Love!!! on Ice" is sure to be the greatest Wattpad-hosted love story of Viktor's day. At its center are Viktor's idol, world-renowned figure skating champion Yuuri Katsuki, and the silver-haired boy whose heart he steals--Vitaly Nikulichev. Yeah. Vitaly Nikulichev. Sure.In which Viktor is 15 and writes Wattpad self-insert RPF about himself and Yuuri, and all hell breaks loose.insp.: https://twitter.com/yuri_noice/status/805917642343190533





	1. DETROIT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

His fingernails scrabbled over the keys as he typed, words and sentences emerging in a rapid, perfect flow. The chains of writers’ block had finally snapped, and Viktor sensed as soon as he began to write that this piece would be one of the best things he’d ever created. The whole chapter was done in one straight sitting, Viktor’s eyes eventually growing sore from staring at his laptop screen for too long.

The Russian teen scrolled up to the top of Wattpad’s simple document editor to look over his work. Not that any major revisions were needed—no, no, he _knew_ it was perfect, but he still liked to give things a quick once-over before he posted them on the internet. Nothing stuck out to him, except—

Perhaps he shouldn’t have used himself as the main character?

Viktor thought for a moment, twisting spirals of his long hair around a finger. Maybe Yuuri wouldn’t fall in love with Viktor Nikiforov, but… Vitaly… Nikulichev? Yeah. Vitaly Nikulichev sounded nice.

There were only a few mentions of the name _Viktor,_ which he found quickly and changed to _Vitaly._ For good measure he changed Yakov to Albert, and that was that. It was, in his opinion, prime literature.

At the top of the screen sat the orange _Publish_ button, staring at him from its little nook in the right-hand corner. Viktor moved his mouse and clicked it, and smiled softly.

* * *

  **Love!!! on Ice by katsudon_vitya**

Chapter 1: DETROIT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 _Brrring! Brrrring!_ What’s that sound? I’m s so sleepy that I can’t tell. But then I realize—it’s my alarm clock and it says 7:15!!!

I sit up hurriedly and flip my waist-length silver hair and open my ice blue eyes. My name is Vitaly Nikulichev and it looks like I’m gonna be late for high school! I can’t believe I set my alarm for the wrong time :( my coach will kill me!!!

I throw off my white plush comforter and get out of bed. My room is painted white and there’s lots of posters of Yuuri Katsuki on the walls. I love Yuuri, he’s so cute and he’s the best skater in the world! I wish I could meet him~

As I walk over to my dresser I pass my poodle Makkachin who’s sleeping in a pile of my dirty shirts. Aww he looks so warm~! Then I look in the mirror at my pale face. Ugh—I look so disgusting and plain. But that’s not something new. I’ve always look like that. Sometimes I don’t think I’ll ever be pretty but I hope I’ll look ok when I grow up lol!

I grab some random clothes out of my closet. I throw on a thick dark navy wool sweater over a black tee shirt and some white skinny jeans. I put on lacy socks and lace up my beige suede combat boots. I put my hair in a kind of messy bun. Then I brush my teeth quickly. Finally I run downstairs to the first floor of my house.

Sure enough my coach Albert is yelling at me. “Vitya!” he yells “you’re going to be late for high school!” I live with Albert because along with being a high school student I’m also a competitive figure skater. Albert is pretty mean sometimes but once you get to know him he’s a big softy. “Theres some sandwiches in the fridge,” he says.

 I open the fridge and take one out and put in in the microwave. While it’s heating up I put on my long black coat and a blue wool scarf, and a hat on my head. I also put on some gloves. It’s fall so it’s very cold outside. Once my waffle is done I take it out of the toaster and eat it. Then I head out with Yakov out to his car.

***timeskip***

I’m sitting in my language arts class learning about War and Peace. It’s probably the most boring book anyone has ever written. The teacher drones on and on about symbolism or something and I’m getting really tired so I can feel my eyelids getting sore from the effort of not falling asleep. Then suddenly the teacher looks up as an announcement comes over the intercom. “Vitaly Nikulichev please come to the office!” OMG that’s me! I hope I haven’t gotten in trouble.

As I walk to the office I wonder why I have to go up there. Last time I went to the office it was because I got in a fight with a guy who said figure skating was only for girls and that I was weak. I punched him in the face and he got a broken nose :) it was totally worth it XD!!! Lol!!! He hasn’t ever said anything bad to me again

Then I get to the office and I open the door. Albert is standing inside with the principal! They lead me back to a small room and tell me to sit down. I’m so worried and my palms are sweaty. The principal says “Your coach would like to tell you something in private” and then he leaves and closes the door. I hear the lock click.

Albert sits down across from me and opens his mouth. Then he says “Vitaly, I’ve decided that it would be best if you got a new coach.”

“What?” I ask. Why do I need a new coach?! I love Albert even if he’s a little icy (haha get it? XD) I feel my face getting hot like I’m about to cry.

“Your parents and I have talked and we think you could push yourself more if you were in a different place.” he says.

“B-but I love it here! And living with you is so fun!!!” I whimper.

“Viktaly you’re going to America”

What?! I’ve never even been there before!!!! I don’t want have to live in a while new country now!!! What about all my friends here at school L

“W-where am I going to g-go????” I sob sadly.

“Detroit. You’re going to train with…

…Yuuri Katsuki!!!!!!”

I gasped!

AN: Sorry the start is so slow! I think he meets Yuuri in the next chapter~

**12 reads, 3 votes**

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

finally a good Yuuri fic w a boy :D!!!!! voted lol, plzzzzzzzz upd8 ily <3 cant wait until they meeeeeeet

                **katsudon-vitya**

thanks! I’ll be updating in about a week probably? I’m glad I have my first adoring fan ;)

                **e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

yaaaaa lol pls do! (nxt thing u kno I’ll be writing fic abt u, im ur #1adoring fan lol)

 

**katsukiminami**

Hi :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) : )!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok so I don’t mean to bee rude and I love the story alot but where is vitaly from?!?!?!?! Is he in Russia?!?!?!?!?!

                **katsudon-vitya**

Yeah he’s Russian! And I’m glad you like it~

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please end my suffering  
> also if anyone actually has the usernames i used in real life i am so sorry for putting you through this
> 
> as of march 12 my tumblr is katsudon-vitya


	2. Dinner with Yuuri-chan?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao,,,, thanks 4 comments/kudos you guys

It was a Sunday, so no practice. Thankfully, Viktor didn’t have any other obligations to keep him from working on his masterpiece.

The second chapter of _Love!!! on Ice_ was going to be the best damned thing the Wattpad figure skating fandom had ever seen, even if it took him all day to get it right. Writer’s block had left him alone for good after Chapter 1, and his fingers were itching to get back into the familiar pattern of rapid typing. (He’d taken a test once—60 words per minute was his highest typing speed. Viktor was pretty proud of that.)

So that was how he spent the day—the only light in his room the LED glare of his laptop screen, his breath turning sour in his mouth as he focused single-mindedly on becoming the closest thing Wattpad had ever seen to Shakespeare. Makkachin had eschewed his usual dirty shirt pile (which Viktor took care to maintain for him) in favor of curling up in the crook of his owner’s left arm, and Viktor absentmindedly carded his fingers through his poodle’s warm curls as he worked.

He had two tabs open; one for his work and one for messaging. Earlier he’d struck up a conversation with one of the commenters on the first chapter, e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i. Viktor had found out that the boy’s name was Chris, and he’d enthusiastically agreed to be Viktor’s beta reader. He noticed a new message—

_U done yettttt? Im on the edge of my seat here Vitya_

**No lol, perfection takes time~**

**Hey what’s ur email by the way?**

_cgiacometti2003@gmail_

_send!!!!! it!!!!!! 2!!!!!! me!!!!!!!!!!_

**I will don’t worry! :)**

_U better_

Viktor switched back to his writing tab for the final stretch. It was almost time for dinner, but he had to finish this and post it _now_ , he just _had_ to. Just one more paragraph, and he’d be done—his fingers tingled with excitement—

* * *

**Love!!! on Ice by katsudon-vitya**

Chapter 2: Dinner with Yuuri-chan?!

The airport is really busy when I get off the plane. There are people everywhere reuniting with their families and going excitedly on vacations, but I’m not happy or excited at all :( This is the first time I’ve ever been in America and I don’t know what to expect, and on top of that I have to train with Yuuri Katsuki! Normally I would love to meet him but now he’s going to see me skate every day, and what if he’s not nice in real life?! I’m so scared.

Albert has all my luggage with him. My parents are there too walking behind me. In a few minutes my new coach will come to meet us and take us to dinner. His name is Celestino and I talked to him over the phone yesterday. He sounded nice but I am still nervous.

I have on a pink and white knitted turtleneck sweater and some silvery gray jeans, and a long black coat and black scarf and gloves. My hair is down and reaches my mid-back. I also have on my favorite beige boots with fluffy socks.

Suddenly my mom comes over to me carrying a large crate. Inside it is… Makkachin! I’m so happy to see him since I havent’ seen him for probably 12 hours. “Do you want to hold Makkachin?” she asks me and I say yes, and she gives me the crate, which is very heavy. Poor Makkachin :( he can’t move around or anything and he looks so sleepy. But having him there makes me feel better.

We start moving through the airport. We get to the front and suddenly a man starts walking towards us. He has long brown hair and an intense-looking face. The man comes up to my mom and says “Ciao ciao” and shakes her hand. Then my mom turns to me and says…

 “Vitaly this is Celestino your new coach.”

Celestino shakes my hand and I say “Nice to meet you, sir” and he says it’s nice to meet me too. Then he says that we’re going to go to dinner and talk about some things, and that his car is waiting outside. He’s smiling and he seems pretty nice in person too. I like him already. Maybe America won’t be so bad~

I follow him out to his car and he puts my luggage in it. (The rest of my stuff is all coming over later so that’s why it fits.) Then I get in the back seat of the car and we start driving. I look out the window as we drive at Detroit. There are so many tall buildings and cars, and streetlights shining everywhere! We pass by some stores and some restaurants. I wonder when we will get there because my parents and Albert just keep talking to Celestino and it’s so boring, even though they are talking about me. Then suddenly we pull over to the side of the road and I sit up.

“We’re here~!” Celestino says and I open the door. I get out onto the sidewalk but my parents don’t.

“Aren’t you coming?” I ask them but they say no :( and that I’m just having dinner with Celestino. Albert says he’ll take Makkachin to where I’ll be staying and that he has to go too. Is this the last time I’ll ever see Albert? I feel my face getting hot and I start to cry.

Celestino says “It’s ok” and Albert gets out and I hug him goodbye. He says he’ll come visit sometime and I say that’s ok, and then we say goodbye to each other one last time. Then Albert gets back in the car with my parents and they drive off. I’m still really sad… the only person I still have in America is Makkachin and I love him but he’s not even a person!!!! :( :( :(

CElestino and I go in the restaurant. “I already have reservations” he says and we go up to the front desk and they tell us where our table is. Then Celestino tells me that somebody else is there eating with us too. Who could it be? OMG what if it’s Yuuri~! I’ll probably die of embarrassment lol, I hope it’s not!

The waitress leads us to our table and I see who the mystery guest is. It’s…

…Phichit Chulanont!!!

He has on a nice black suit and purple tie and he looks so handsome! Wow I can’t believe I’m meeting him! He’s my second favorite skater other than Yuuri. Then I wonder if I should’ve dressed up more, oh no, what if I make a bad impression on one of the greatest skaters in the world? D:

“Hello Mr. Chulanont my name is Vitaly Nikulichev! It’s very nice to meet you! I look up to you a lot!” I shake his hand. He smiles at me and I smile back.

“Nice to meet you Vitaly!” he says, and then he sits down. I sit down in the seat diagonal from him and Celestino sits next to me. I pick up the menu and look through the food. It’s a gourmet hamburger restaurant and all of them look really good. While I’m thinking what to order I talk to Celestino and Phichit. Phichit cracks a lot of jokes and I laugh at all of them, even the ones that aren’t funny. Then I notice there’s a coat hanging on the back of the chair next to Phichit.

“Is that your coat?” I ask him.

“No” he says, “it’s—oh here he comes now! It’s Yuuri’s coat!”

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? OMG!!!!!!!!!!! IS IT REALLY YUURI-CHAN??????? I turn around to look and it is!!!!!! Oh my Goddddddddd… I think I’m gonna die of embarrassment… My face turns fire engine red and gets all hot and I want to get up and squeal and hug him, but I don’t.

Yuuri is the most handsome man I’ve ever seen! His deep brown orbs sparkle at me from behind his big cute glasses, and he has on a nicely cut black suit. He also has his signature hideous tie that he always wears on, and I think I’m about to cry because he’s so beautiful. But I just sit there and stare at him blushing really hard.

“H-hello Yuu—I mean, Mr Katsuki! I’m Vitaly Nikulichev and I’m g-going to t-train with you and Phichit now…” I say to Yuuri and he smiles at me. His smiiiiiiilllle~ Ahhhhh I’m gonna die~

“It’s very nice to meet you Vitaly!” Yuuri says. He holds out his hand for me to shake it. Am I really going to actually touch Yuuri Katsuki? I lift up my hand and shake his and my entire body tingles hard. His skin is so soft and warm to the touch! OMG I’m never watching this hand again~! When he lets go of my hand I stare up into his eyes and smile hugely. I hope it’s not too obvious to Yuuri how in love with him I am.

Yuuri sits down in the chair right across from me. Oh no… how am I gonna get through this dinner without getting a massive anime nosebleed and dying??? Someone buy me a coffin because I’m about to need a funeral!

**14 reads, 6 votes**

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

this chap is Amazing looool (ofc it is bc I beta read it) but seriously ik ive said it before but I am so in love with this story and I want all the chapters nooooooooooooowwwww I cant wait 2 see if vitaly gets that massive anime nosebleed or not XDDDDD that was my fave part

                **katsudon-vitya**

                Yeah I liked the nosebleed part a lot too, I laughed so hard when I wrote it XD

 

**katsukiminami**

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D Its so good!!!!!!!!!!! Also don’t feel bad Vitaly that’s totally how I would react if I met Yuuri-chan lol, he’d be all freaked out :D :D :Df

 

**yuuri-is-love-yuuri-is-life**

lmao vitaly ill buy u that coffin! Poor guy :( love this fic!!!!

 

**PHICHITPHICHITPHICHITPHICHIT**

fUCKIG AMAZIGN…. UR A GOD AMONG MEN THABK U ILY

* * *

 “WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? OMG!!!!!!!!!!! IS IT REALLY YUURI-CHAN???????” Phichit screamed, contorting his face into a melodramatic caricature of terror. He clutched erratically at his heart, completing the charade, and his phone dropped from his hand onto the carpeted floor. Yuuri himself rolled over the side of the couch onto the carpet, spasming with pterodactyl-like shrieks of breathless laughter—sparked both by Phichit’s God-awful Russian accent and the words he was reading in it.

Yuuri managed to stop laughing long enough to shakily right himself. Phichit grabbed the carton of orange juice balancing precariously on the armrest and handed it to his friend, who uncapped it and took a hearty gulp straight from the container. It was only a few seconds before he spat it out over his shirt, unable to contain his laughter any longer.

 The hysterics eventually died down into giggles, and Phichit kept going, Russian accent getting progressively worse as he read. “O-M-G,” he said in a deathly serious mafioso’s voice, “I’m never watching this hand again.” A dramatic pause.

“…TILDE.”

Yuuri lost it again, still on the floor, and grabbed the orange juice again. Phichit watched his friend’s reaction and smiled. “The fucking tildes,” he giggled. “Gets you every time. God I love the fucking tildes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last comment on Wattpad is actually Phichit lmao


	3. Surviving dinner... and more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> episode 12 was illegal. i'm suing  
> (thanks as always for comments/kudos they make my day)

“You know,” Yakov had told him, “you could be skating in the Seniors already, if you wanted.” And he could, couldn’t he? As the Junior Grand Prix began to edge over the distant horizon, Viktor thought on it. Imagine him on the same ice as Yuuri! No, standing on the podium next to him—one step above, biting his gold and beaming as Yuuri showed off his silver, proud but confused. _Who’s this newcomer?_ Yuuri would think, glancing slyly sideways at the gold medalist. _He was amazing—_

And then Yuuri would come up to him at the banquet and shake his hand, and tell him he was impressed— _impressed!_ With _Viktor!_ And there would be something pulling him to the younger skater, and he wouldn’t be able to resist it; could it be— _Attraction? No. Never. But—_

And Yuuri wouldn’t be able to deny it no matter how hard he tried and then he’d take Viktor out into a hall and run fingers through his hair and then, oh, _then,_ he would kiss Viktor like he’d never been kissed before—

Viktor realized he was biting aggressively into his labradoodle plushie and making a sort of quiet squealing noise. Makkachin tilted his head with concern.

Yeah, maybe Seniors should wait a little while.

His phone buzzed beside him on his bed, where he lay curled up among the pillows. There were more here than he had back home with Yakov, and he wasn’t sure whether all of them were meant to be used—he was at his parents’ house for the week, and everything was a little unfamiliar. His room here felt strangely empty, without any posters of Yuuri on the walls. At least he had Makkachin snuggled up next to him, but even he had been looking slightly forlorn without his shirt pile.

Viktor picked up the phone to see a new message from Chris. He’d struck up a friendship with his beta reader, and had eventually just given him his phone number.

_wat r u doin ;)_

**Why the winky face should I be worried?**

_no im just wonderin ;) if you might perchance b workin on ;) chapter 3 of acclaimed figure skating RPF fanfiction Love!!! on Ice ;) which I would like 2 read immedialtely because I ;) am ;) bored ;)_

**No I’m just sitting here petting my dog~**

_oh well that’s important shit ill leave u to it_

_hey btw what am I in ur contacts as_

_bc I think you should put me as the eggplant emoji and then the lick emoji ;)_

_or just succ_

_or both_

Viktor decided he would continue this thread of conversation later when he had figured out how to respond to that.

Now that he thought about it, he might as well write Chapter 3. It wasn’t writers’ block that had been holding him back this time—he simply wasn’t set on how to characterize Yuuri. He’d seen almost every interview with the man, of course, and gotten the impression that his idol was a perfectly pleasant yet slightly awkward sort of guy, but maybe he was just camera-shy, or uncomfortable with the attention. Perhaps in person he was more relaxed?

There was lots of Yuuri RPF on the market already, and Viktor had been reading up to see how the pros did it. It seemed that the most popular authors were divided into two camps: one that held Yuuri as Eros, the suave romantic who casually stole the hearts of millions, and one that saw him as a socially confused ball of blushes and adorable smiles. He didn’t think either of these characterizations was entirely on the dot, really.

There were also the (unconfirmed) rumors that Yuuri had some sort of chronic anxiety disorder to consider. Viktor was unsure, but thought that from what he’d heard from other skaters and coaches it was fairly likely. He himself had never suffered from any kind of anxiety disorder, only several severe bouts with depression, and was unsure how to write that element of Yuuri if he included it. That would mean research, a good bit of it probably, and research outside of the figure skating world was never the most interesting thing in the world to Viktor. But mental illness was a tricky thing to handle, and he wouldn’t want to get it wrong.

Viktor thought for a bit, burying his face in Makkachin’s belly. Maybe he would just write what felt right (haha write/right get it? XD), and make adjustments if needed. If, when the time came, giving Yuuri anxiety problems seemed fitting, he would just try to portray that accurately.

Yeah. That was a good plan. Viktor reached over his poodle to grab his laptop, and opened it. Maybe he could knock out Chapter 3 in one sitting.

* * *

  **Love!!! on Ice by katsudon-vitya**

Chapter 3: Surviving dinner… and more

Our food gets there very fast even though the restaurant is crowded. People all around us are talking and going about their daily lives as if everything is normal, but how? Why can’t I just be like them and stop freaking out over Yuuri??I ordered a burger with blue cheese and some sort of good-tasting sauce, and I notice Yuuri got a burger with bacon on it. I wonder if—

“Man I sure wish I was eating katsudon right now!” Yuuri says. “Not that this burger isn’t good, I just really like katsudon” he corrects. I know all about how much Yuuri loves pork cutlet bowls (lol doesn’t everyone? XD) but it’s so weird hearing him say it in person.

“So do I!” I say without thinking, just agreeing with Yuuri. OMG I can’t believe I just said that! I’ve never even eaten katsudon—oops! I’m such a baka!!! My face is even redder than it was before.

Yuuri gets a happy look on his face. “Oh really! That’s cool. Isn’t it so good?”

“Yeah!” I say grateful he didn’t ask something else that would reveal that I’ve never eaten the traditional Japanese food. I look over at Phichit and he looks like he’s going to laugh, but also slightly suspicious.

We continue to eat for a while and Yuuri, Phichit, and Celestino all ask me questions about myself and I answer them. I can’t stop looking at Yuuri sometimes though. I just want to reach out and touch him again because when he shook my hand it was amazing, like I found my soulmate. My hand is still kind of tingly. I hope Yuuri hasn’t noticed because I think Phichit might have and that’s not good. He keeps giving me sneaky side glances like he knows something.

Anyways Yuuri and Phichit tell me that they like to call Celestino Ciao Ciao because he says Ciao Ciao a lot, and I laugh and say I’ll call him that. Then I tell them about Albert for a bit and how much I like him, and that I hope I’ll like Ciao Ciao that much too. I ask what his house is like, since I assume they both live with him. But I forgot not all skaters live in the same house as their coach like me and Albert did.

“Oh Vitaly you don’t think we all live in the house with him do you? No, we all have our own apartments and so do you.” Phichit laughs. OMG what? I’ve never lived on my own before! I’m kinda scared…

Then Ciao Ciao laughs too and says “Your apartment is right next to Yuuri’s actually so he can keep an eye on you, and will be there if you need anything!”

Wait… WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Oh God no!!!!!! I don’t even think I’ll survive this dinner let alone having to live right next to Yuuri-chan for a long time! What if he brings someone home and I hear them doing “adult things” or something?! AAAAHHHHH WHAT DO I DO???

While everyone else continues talking I just sit there internally freaking out about my apartment being next to Yuuri’s. In about 30 minutes everyone is done with their food so we decide to leave. I wonder how to get to my new apartment but then Yuuri says he’s going to go there with me and help me get set up!!! I wish these crazy things would stop happening long enough to give me time to stop blushing like a schoolgirl.

We go out to the curb and Yuuri calls for a taxi. One comes quickly and Yuuri tells him where the apartment building is and hands him the fare. Then he opens the back door for me and I blush even harder again. There’s no way he doesn’t notice how hard I’m crushing on him at this point! :( But I hope that doesn’t ruin our relationship because I know Yuuri will never fall for a plain boy like me, but I still want us to be friends~

The ride to my new home is pretty quiet. Yuuri doesn’t say anything to me until we get there, but he does get out to open my door for me again. His face is a little red but that’s probably because he figured out I’m basically in love with him, and who wouldn’t feel a little uncomfortable?

“I’m sorry” I say to Yuuri. He tilts his head confusedly.

“About what?” he asks.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No not at all Vitaly! I enjoyed our conversation over dinner a lot!” he says to me and smiles.

I smile back suddenly aware of some energy between us. Oh crap why won’t things that make me blush stop happening? Yuuri takes something out of his pocket and hands it to me. It’s the key card to my new apartment! The plastic shines in the porch’s light. I open the front door with it and go inside into the lobby and Yuuri and I get into the elevator. Suddenly it catches up to me that I’m in a small space alone with Yuuri Katsuki but it doesn’t feel as awkward anymore.

We get up to floor 3 and Yuuri and I go out down the hall to our apartments. I open mine up with the key and go inside. There’s furniture in it already and everything, and suddenly I’m excited. I hear barking suddenly coming from a room I go to the room and open the door and Makkachin is in there :D! He runs to me and jumps into my arms.

“Awwww hi buddy!!!” I say and Yuuri steps into the room behind me.

“I like your dog!” he says.

“You can pet him if you want. His name is Makkachin!” Yuuri pets Makkachin’s head smiling. I smile too.

Yuuri asks me “Do you need anything else to get settled or are you ok?” I nod yes and say I had fun at dinner. Then Yuuri tells me he’ll take me to practice tomorrow and to get up at 7, and leaves. When he’s gone I collapse onto the bed and shove my face into the pillow and smile into it, blushing madly. Well, maybe having my apartment right next to Yuuri-chan won’t be so bad~!

AN: Ugh this chap feels really short :/ But I hope you liked it~

**20 reads, 9 votes**

**katsukiminami**

OHMYGOSH I’m so excited to see WHAT HAPPENS!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) I can’t believe they have apartments right next to each other now they can SCREW EACH OTHERS BRAINS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

                **e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

;) how forward

 

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

daaaaaaaaaaamn vitya it wasn’t short or bad at all! I luvved it 10/10 prime literature! pls keep writing this thing, I’m so excited for next chap. u don’t even kno, signed ur #1 fan

 

**PHICHITPHICHITPHICHITPHICHIT**

mAN I SHORE FUCKEN WISH I WAS EATIN SOME DARN DIDDLY KATSUDON NYAA~ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAPFUBWIOBF’/’’’’/…….//

 

**number1Phituuri-trash**

okokokok I am in luuuuuuuuuuuuv with this KAWAII COUPLE!!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ VITUURI FTW!!!

                **katsudon-vitya**

Hey~ glad u like the story but how’d u get that face?! I love it

                 **number1Phituuri-trash**

                <http://amikawaiiyet.forumotion.com/t10-kawaii-emoticons>

                 **katsudon-vitya**

OMG thanksss!! (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

* * *

 Nerve pangs were running through his stomach, his hands—the Grand Prix Series was approaching yet again, and God, did he have to be thinking about it now? Last year’s was fine, outstanding, even, and he would do well. _Yes,_ Yuuri thought, _I’ll be fine, everything will be fine. The Grand Prix isn’t now—just relax for a while._

Phichit laid a hand on his shoulder from next to him on the couch. Nothing needed to be said; he had seen his friend staring down at his lap again, eyes shut in an inward cringe, fists clenched. “Hey—that Vitya kid put up the third chapter of their fanfiction. Wanna read? We can do the orange juice thing again, if you want.”

Yuuri forced the Grand Prix out of his head long enough to consider the fanfiction. It was pretty funny— and there was something oddly endearing about it, too, more so than the other blatant self-insert fics about him he’d read. He felt sometimes like Vitaly Nikulichev could almost be a real skater. Strange, huh?

He nodded yes, and Phichit got up to get the orange juice. They’d done this many times before—finding bad fanfictions on the internet and trying not to laugh, drinking whenever they failed.  (Nothing alcoholic, though. Both were 17, and it was more the idea of a drinking game than the actual drunkenness that held the appeal.) At first it had been all the classics—My Immortal, Full Life Consequences, and HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, to name a few. But then they’d found the ones about Yuuri, and Phichit, and Yuuri _and_ Phichit (because those were a thing), and those had been the staple from then on. They weren’t too hard to find, and they voted or favorited or left kudos when they could. A good arrangement, Yuuri thought.

Phichit pulled out his phone as he plopped down on the couch, and set the orange juice in its usual precarious position on the couch’s arm. Yuuri leaned over onto his friend to watch as he opened Wattpad, pulling up Chapter 3 of “Love!!! on Ice”.

“Before we start I think we need to just take a moment to appreciate something: Remember last chapter how it described our outfits and we were wearing these really nice suits? OK, the opening of this made me remember that we’re apparently at a gourmet hamburger restaurant. Like, we could be wearing _tuxes_ to a fucking Red Robin. And I think that needs to be—put out in the open.”

Yuuri stifled laughter. “To be fair I think it just says suits, but yeah. I’m just going to assume that they’re in a Red Robin now.”

“Yeah—that’s where Ciao Ciao took me when we first met.  In a suit.”  Both of them laughed after that, so both of them drank.

The reading went well, Phichit’s progressively deteriorating Russian accent and imitations of Celestino and Yuuri drawing laughs. It was the mark of a good night to Yuuri—spent with a friend, laughing and reading subpar fanfiction, wrestling playfully over the phone as they each tried to make a comment, thinking nothing at all of the Grand Prix or anything else.  

When the chapter was over, and the orange juice bottle almost depleted, Yuuri and Phichit leaned together on the couch, still caught occasionally by little bouts of chuckles. “You know something?” Phichit asked, trying to maneuver himself to properly stretch out his legs. He ended up swinging them over Yuuri’s lap.

“What?”

“I feel like Vitaly reminds me of someone. Like he’s based off of an actual skater.”

“I get the same feeling sometimes; it’s weird,” Yuuri remarked. “Maybe it’s the name. I think there’s a Viktor something in the Juniors with long hair.”

Phichit snorted. “Yeah, that’s probably it. What’s that guy’s last name again? I remember him being impressive.”

“No idea. Nikolov? Nablablalov? I don’t know Russian last names.”

 “Wait.” Phichit grinned. “Theory: He—he actually wrote it!” The last of his words disintegrated into giggles, and Yuuri joined in, and soon they were back in the throes of laughter that had gripped them when they were reading. It was an odd thing, really, both of them egged on by the other’s hysterics, neither thus able to stop.

When it had finally died down, Yuuri wiped a tear away from his eye and slumped back onto the couch, breathless. “Oh God, can you imagine?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry yurio fans... he's coming up... and oh god am i sorry


	4. black thorns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn,,,, i'm so appreciative of all the comments i've been getting! glad my shit fanfic is making people happy! thanks so much!
> 
> also, trigger warning i guess, in the twitter portion, the first fanfic posted for Phichit is a weird ass fanfic i found on deviantart about serial killers ted bundy and jeffery dahmer as, like, a ship. i personally found it cringeworthy enough to be hilarious, and there's no explicit gore/murder in it (though it is referenced a lot), but if cringey awful serial killer fanfic isn't your cup of tea then obviously don't click on that link.
> 
> aaaand speaking of gore, yurio's story gets pretty graphic, but it's,,,, really,,,,,,, really,,,,,,,,, badly-described, if you get my drift

xX_YuriKat_Xx was not a Yuuri Katsuki fan account at all.

Viktor had seen the name listed as one of the few people Chris followed, and decided to check them out. After all, Chris was very choosy: he only followed Viktor, this Yuri Kat kid, and a poetry author who was apparently his boyfriend. His standards were obviously high, so Viktor had assumed that whatever xX_YuriKat_Xx wrote (Yuuri fics, probably, based on the name) was well-done.

Yeah, no.

When he tapped the profile (he was on his phone) Viktor was greeted not with a familiar dime-a-dozen figure skating fan, but with this edgelord:

 

 

 “ _What the fuck?_ ” he muttered under his breath. His mother gave him a quizzical look from across the dinner table.

“What was that, Vitya?” she asked, between delicate bites of stroganoff.

“Nothing, Mama,” Viktor replied. His mother gave a conciliatory hum and continued eating.

He scanned xX_YuriKat_Xx’s page in confusion, looking for any redeeming quality. There was none he could see. Only one story: “welcome to the madness”, apparently about the main character escaping from a mental hospital for people with cat ears. And Chris was the only follower. Why? What the hell did Chris see in this mess? Viktor opened up his messaging app to ask.

**Hey Chris? Can I ask you something?**

The reply was almost instant. _ask away m’friend ;)_

**Ok so I noticed that the only person u follow besides me n your bf is YuriKat… why????**

_ASDFH;GJ U FOUND YURIKAT LMAOOOOOO_

_HES FUCKIN HILARIOUS_

_READ HIS SHIT ITS SO BAD ITS GOOD_

_I GIVH HIM WRITING ADVICE SOMTEIMES AND HE THINKS I THINK HES HTE NEXT FUCKIGN SHAKESPEARE OR SOME SHIT STG XD XD XD XD XD XD_

_READ WELCOME  2 THE MADNESS IT WILL M U R D E R U W/ LAUHGTER_

Viktor had nothing against indulging in a little so-bad-it’s-good reading from time to time. He’d read a couple of chapters into My Immortal, and it was sort of funny, so he thought he might as well check out this “welcome to the madness” thing. If it was anywhere near as embarrassingly awful as YuriKat’s profile description, it would probably be entertaining.

Another text from Chris:

_ok I feel like I shud say pls don’t mock the kid. I mean I guess im an asshole for leading him on and saying hes good but its just a phase hes in I guess???? and I want him 2 enjoy it!!!! so laught but don’t be rude 2 yuri!!!!_

_he talks 2 me abt his life sometimes hes dealin with some shit_

**You sound protective**

_kinda lol, hes trans i think and so is my bf and I know a lil abt how hard it can be,,,,, also hes like 12 I don’t know if I said that_

_I hope someday he realizes hes bad and has a good cheeky laugh over it so we can be on the same page and I can stop lying bc I really do like the kid a lot honestly poor guy. I just want 2 hug him sometimes_

**I’ll be nice don’t worry Chris~!**

**Also not to be rude it sounds like u really care for this kid and is there anything I can do to help him out?**

_just tell him hes doin a good job and ur glad he writes shit_

_I wonder sometimes if its an escapist fantasy_

_like I don’t know the extent of how shit his life is but maybe its him coping and he needs it so don’t mock him!!!!!!!!!!!_

_be nice to yuri!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

**I will (** **◡‿◡✿)**

“Vitya, put your phone up and talk to us, will you?”

“Fine, Mama.”

Damn—dinners with his parents were so long. It would’ve been nice to have something to read, but oh well. He’d have plenty of time later.

The rest of the dinner wasn’t so bad. Despite Mama’s request to talk, neither she nor Papa seemed particularly interested in conversation with each other or Viktor, so they sat mostly in refined silence as they tucked into their rich beef stroganoff. Viktor managed to sneak Makkachin some table scraps when the poodle snuck over to nuzzle his master’s hand, and that brightened things a little bit. Not so long after he was excused to his room, Makkachin following him up the stairs.

His mother would come up around 11 to check that he was in bed, but other than that, he’d be left alone for 4 good hours, plenty of time to do whatever. Maybe write Chapter 4? But today didn’t feel like a writing day, so Viktor decided to spend his evening reading and going through his public social media. Might as well see what people were saying about him, not that he cared much.

He had a “professional” Twitter and Instagram, both of which had a decent-sized following of skating fans. Neither were linked in any way to his Wattpad (or his Fanfiction.net account, or his Yuuri blog on Tumblr), which was entirely private. It was strange sometimes, thinking about the way the public perceived him. To the world, he was a fairly good junior figure skater, a quiet and dedicated athlete who was sure to make waves when he entered the Seniors.  Many saw him as aloof, distant from fans and the media. And nobody knew how he spent the bulk of his free time, thank God.

He wondered, were there fans of his who felt the same way about him that he did about Yuuri? Who wrote love stories about themselves and him and posted them on the internet, and watched every interview with him, and lay in their beds at dusk fantasizing about what would happen if he were there, or about how they would meet or fall in love or have their first kiss or their first time or get engaged or adopt 2 children together or pair skate to a duet version of _Stammi Vicino, Non Te Ne Andare_ —

Dammit, he was daydreaming about Yuuri again.

Viktor snapped out of it and set about creating a relaxing atmosphere for himself, lighting a vanilla-scented candle on his bedside table, turning off all the lights but a single lamp, slipping into his pajamas. But the thought persisted—his fans, if there were any, were they feeling appreciated? He never did much interacting with his followers on social media outside of promoting his upcoming skates. Hell, he didn’t think he’d ever even posted a picture of Makkachin. Maybe he should start making more of an effort. Had Yuuri used social media the way Viktor did, as a strictly professional platform, he’d know almost nothing about his idol, and that would make life a lot less interesting.

As he pulled up xX_YuriKat_Xx’s profile, he resolved that tonight, he would start paying more attention to fans. After all, he was the same as them at heart, wasn’t he?

* * *

  **welcome to the madness by xX_YuriKat_Xx**

Chapter 1: black thorns

Is this real or am I crazy. no wait I know it’s both. I’m here in this asylum which is real but I am also CRAZY!!! ahhaa~~~~~ my name is Yuri and im a neko boy. Ive lived in the asylum for a very long time so I cant remember how long,  they keep me in a cell and they torture me for no reason. But the light in darkness is my best friend who is insane like me his name is Otabek but I call him Beka. Beka has been in the asylum almost as long as me and he is also a neko boy. My ears and tail are black and his are white. I have long blond hair and blue eyes and he has black hair and brown eyes. he also has a really cool scar on his face across his face.

Beka and me are sitting on the floor of our cell which has a lot of dirt and dried blood on it. “Well what do you want to do today?” I asked sadly and beka says “well I guess we will just sit here and do nothing while they torture us and all the other prisoners ;( I wish we could do something about it. that gave me and idea and I say back excitedly “you know what I’m tired of this!!!! they treat us like SHIT and we never get to do anything what if to day s the day we fight back!” I said angrily. SO then I talk to beka more and we deicide ok that’s what we will do today!! Free everyone from this bad and awful place!!

When the guards come by to give us our one meal that we have a day Beka puts his hand through the bars and cut one of them with his claws across his face and I got the other one. they fell down saying in pain “please someone restrain these two lunatic nekos!” but then after a while they bleed out and die so nobody comes even though there are security cameras I guess no one is watching them. Then I get the key off the guard and unlock our cell so we go outside of it and go down the hall unlocking all the other nekos cells. They all run out happily and say joyfully “Thank you Yuri and Beka for saving us!” and we say back loudly “Its ok us insane people have to stick to gether! lets go kill all the guards and take this place over!!!!!”

So we do that and we go to the main office part of the asylum and along the way Beka kills all the gurads he sees for us with his claws. Beka is so strong and brave~~~~. And we free all the other nekos along the way too and they are following us like in a parade marching to victory and to save everyone. There are guards screaming everywhere begging for mercy but we don’t give them any mercy. We went up to the main office part eventually and then we found the head guards and all the torturers and scientists who were doing tests on us hiding in there. Then we advance slowly towards them and they keep screaming and saying “please don’t kill us or else you are as bad as us you crazy assholes!”

But we go up to them anyway and kill them one by one and make them watch as we do it. The first guy, he is the head scientist who hurt us a lot and cut into our brains and made us sit in dark rooms with nothing in them so I go to him and he says frightenedly “Yuri please no” but I make my claws go out and push them into his brain through his eyes and blood comes out and runs over his face and he screams lousdly. I twisted my claws so his eyes and brain got shredded and he died and I yell “THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK WITH AN INSANE NEKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and everyone cheers because he is dead.

Then I go to the next guy and while Beka is ripping the heart out of the worst torturer who liked to hang us from the ceiling by our tails and waterboard us I start to cut all his skin off with my claws. He was the second head scientist and he was in charge of giving us electric shocks so we wouldn’t be crazy anymore, NEWSFLASH it didn’t work! >:) As I peel away all his skin and the muscles comes out beneath I fell something rushing throught me, it is the feeling of loving to kill and insanity, ahaahaha~~~ it’s been so long since I felt this and now I remember why I came to the asylum!

*flashback* *place: my house with my dad* My dad and mom are nekos which is why im a neko too. They are sitting down and we are eating dinner and talking. dad: “*growls* Child I wish you would stop being so weak and disobedient you’re pathetic.” mom: “Yes you are a horrible child. I wish I had               another one instead of you.” I feel something growing that is hot inside of me and taking over my brain. Then suddenly I can’t tak e it anymore and I stand up and start screaming “NO!!! YOU ARE HORRIBLE PARENTS AND MY NAME ISNT JUST “CHILD” IT’S **YURI!!!!!!!!!!** ” I jump onto the table and go across to them and stab them to death with forks and their blood goes into the food and then I eat the food. Mmmmm it tastes so good hahahahahahaha!!!!!! I hear banging on the door outside…. haha what is that…. I don’t care about anything anymore its probably the police but I don’t care. “Yurochka what have you done you killed your parents didn’t you… Im sorry but I have to turn you in…” Its my grandfather… oh no… Ive let him down…. I start to have tears come down my face…. *end of flashback*

Then I remembered my grandfather again and I start crying in real life. Beka comes up and puts a hand on my shoulder “Yuri whats wrong?” he says concernedly and everyone is seeing me cry now but I don’t care. I want to go out of here right now and see my grandfather again I don’t care about killing everyone anymore.  “Beka can we go out now lease and everyone else can kill all these people.” “Yes that’s ok Yuri” said Beka and so all the other nekos move in to kill the rest of the people who were hiding in the office and I and Beka go out of the office and to the elevator.

The elevator ride takes us up to the top and into an airlock. The asylum is on an asteroid so we need to put on spacesuits so we do. We go out of the airlock and there is a ship there for two people. “Beka can we go to my grandfather please because I miss him a lot” I ask and Beka says “ok” so we go in the ship. Luckly Beka knew how to fly a spaceship so we take off into space and freedom. Wow I think, Im finally free after all these years, but what am I going to do now?

AN: That was my first ever thing I wrote how do you like it also thank you Beka for helping me and getting me Photoshop also!!!! Youre a really good friend and you should get a Wattpad so we can be authors together!!!!

**5 reads, 2 votes**

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

this is really good but if u don’t mind my saying so it would help if u made a new paragraph every time someone else spoke! keep up the good work!

                **xX_YuriKat_Xx!**

YOU THINK ITS GOOD?????!!!!! and I will thanks eggplant emoki!!!!!!!!!

                 **e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

yeah I enjoyed it a lot :) u have literary talent

                 **xX_YuriKat_Xx**

THANKS YOU!!!!!!!!!! *happy ear twitch* Can you help me more with the story?

                 **e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

hell yeah!

                 **xX_YuriKat_Xx**

THANKSS O MUCH EGGPLANT!!!!

* * *

  **it’s PHICHIT!** (@phichit-chu)

please… someone send me something funny to read… #boredom

 

**sk8r boi** (@phikachu)

@phichit-chu do bad fanfics work bc those are pretty funny

 

**it’s PHICHIT!** (@phichit-chu)

@phikachu yeah go ahead lol!

 

**figure GAYting** (@ice-prince-ss)

OUR LORD HAS S P O K E N #SendPhichitFanfics

 

**heebie jeebie** (@icewalker)

@phichit-chu here: <https://seal-of-metatron.deviantart.com/art/Ted-x-Jeff-Ashamed-part-1-244721426> #SendPhichitFanfics

 

**it’s PHICHIT!** (@phichit-chu)

@icewalker well… uhm… there’s something that… exists #WhatHaveIJustRead

**виктор** **Никифоров** ( @v-nikiforov) 

Not a fanfic but funny! here: <https://www.wattpad.com/350696930-welcome-to-the-madness-black-thorns>  #SendPhichitFanfics 

 

**!!ICEPRINCE!!** (@liktor-viktor) 

hhhhhOLYSHIT VIKTOR DID #SendPhichitFanfics! VIKTOR! nIKIFOROV!!!! #IcePrinceAlliance CHECC THIS SHIT 

 

**figure GAYting** (@ice-prince-ss) 

@liktor-viktor OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYDGOD WTF IM SCREAMINS #IcePrinceAlliance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yurio is straight up just me in 6th grade
> 
> also i don't use twitter and have no idea how to format it so if i made a mistake let me know! and thanks again for all the support/encouragement you guys are giving me more inspiration to write than i've had in a while!


	5. Dawn of the First Day!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long i'm a lazy bastard lmao  
> also christophe's bf is mystery doorway guy and i've decided to name him lukas

_hey vit_

_fucking VIKTOR NIKIFOROV????????????? apparently??? tweeted out welcome to the madness @ phichit bc he asked for so bad its good shit i guess_

_and ppl are being nice so far and saying its great and shit but im worried but anyway_

_did u show it 2 anyone? bc how the fuck did V I K T O R N I K I F O R O V find it??????_

Viktor turned his head to stare at his phone, its glare upsetting his already-sore eyes. It was—what, 1 in the morning? 2? The dimmer light of his laptop was a little less jarring, and he turned his phone’s brightness down to match before checking the messages.He’d been working on Chapter 4 since the evening, since just after he’d exposed the world to the literary genius of xX_YuriKat_Xx. Suddenly he’d felt compelled to write again, somehow, and now he was almost done with the rough draft. This one would need some revision, though—he thought there might be some pacing issues with Vitaly and Yuuri’s relationship. He had firmly decided to give the pair their first kiss in Chapter 7 (and oh, how _romantic_ it would be!), and would rework absolutely anything needed to make that interaction as natural-seeming as possible. After all, he was an author of a high caliber, and authors like him considered carefully things like pacing, realism, and the intricacies of human interaction. Things that _certain other authors_ simply threw out the window. Such as, for instance, Yuri.

He’d never felt much in the way of insecurity about the quality of his writing, but if he had, then reading “welcome to the madness” would have torn that feeling to fluttering shreds. It was the funniest and most poorly-written jumble of letters his eyes had ever been blessed to behold—the _tense changes!_ The _dialogue!_ The _lack of understanding of mental illness!_ The _edge!_ The very first sentence had him nearly in tears, and the further he read the harder it was to catch a breath. When Viktor had finally gotten around to opening up Twitter, he’d seen Phichit’s request for entertainment almost immediately, and what better form of entertainment than that?

Viktor had to admit he was excited to see how his fans would react to his newfound social media presence, and judging by Chris’ text it looked like they’d definitely seen his tweet—but. Shit, right, Chris didn’t know who he was. How would he explain? No one, not even Chris, could know that he wrote self-insert fanfiction about another skater. He thought carefully before typing out a reply.

**Woah~! I didn’t show it to anyone**

**Even if I did I don’t think whoever I would show it to would be in any way connected to Viktor Nikiforov in a way that he could find it**

_lmao sounds like something someone who knows someone who is in some way connected to viktor nikiforov in a way that he could find it would say_

Viktor’s heart skipped a beat—was that a joke? That was probably a joke, but—

**Honestly I barely even know who that is lol**

_h o w t h e F U C C—_

**all I care about is Yuuri ┐('** **～** **`** **；** **)┌**

_um_

Somehow the three seconds it took for Chris to send another follow-up text was the most tense three seconds of Viktor’s life.

_disregarding the fact that u live under a fucking rocc apparently_

_allow me to_ _enlighten u? i guess_

_so u can get a better handle on the sitch w yuri_

Relief, sweet relief at last, as it seemed Chris’ suspicions were dropped. It looked like he was going to have to sit through a lengthy exposition on himself, but who knew, it might be interesting to get an outsider perspective.

**Yeah go ahead enlighten me! I know he’s in the juniors rn and he’s apparently really good**

_ok viktor nikiforov_   _101 day 1 lesson 1: don’t tell his fans hes just “really gud” they will flip their shit. 2 them his abilities must be referenced as nothing less than godlike since he is clearly the second coming of jesus christ_ _u tell a viktor fan shit like “if viktor were in the seniors yuuri would beat him” or even “viktor, while admittedly very impressive, is probably not the absolute best men’s singles figure skater who exists, has ever existed, or ever will exist” i guarantee a good half will deadass murder you_

_he has one of the most rabid fandoms of any skater (which again how the hell have you never noticed them????? i mean not to judge but dude theyre everywhere)_

_which is strange because, viktor nikiforov 101 day 1 lesson 2: hes a fucking cryptid_

_he never posts anything ever outside of like. generic pictures of himself in front of rinks or in random cities and shit like “congratulations x on a fantastic skate” and shit. nobody knows literally anything about him to the point where people aren’t even definitely sure if he has a dog or not (which don’t even get me started on poodlegate because it is the STUPIDEST SHIT)_

_and apparently his coach or whoever goes batshit on interviewers and they cant ask literally a n y details about his life?????_ _makes u wonder if the guys in the fucking mafia or some shit_

_don’t get me wrong i have mad respect for the guy. i don’t know if uve ever watched him skate but i rlly think hes near on on yuuris level and hes gonna beat him at least once when he gets in seniors and from what little anyone knows about who the fucc he actually is as a person he seems like an ok guy but i mean_

_its his fanbase not he himself that worries me in relation to yuri_

_i just really really want to keep yuri safe from assholes_

_i don’t think skating fans are assholes but there are probably some who will be brutally honest or some shit and make the poor kid cry_

_yuri shouldn’t cry ever_

...Oh.

It was lots of words, lots to process at once, but Viktor understood the main ideas: Firstly, that his fanbase was much bigger and more dedicated than he’d thought, secondly, that yes, said fanbase was definitely starved for interaction, and thirdly, that he might have fucked up. Viktor hadn’t really thought about the possibility of flames when he’d tweeted Yuri’s work. Hell, he hadn’t thought anyone would see it other than Phichit, who he could definitely trust to be nice. When he’d pictured “fans”, the mental image had been of several dozens of people who thought he was a pretty swell skater, or who admired his fashion sense and general aesthetic. Not of “one of the most rabid fandoms of any skater.”  Chris hadn’t made it quite clear if they were generally unpleasant or not, but there was sure to be at least one who would drag Yuri’s writing through the dirt. And Chris clearly cared about this boy, and Viktor didn’t want anyone to cry, and—maybe an apology was in order?

Maybe he should come clean? Chris was a good guy; he wouldn’t care, right?

Viktor took a deep breath and closed his laptop. He could pick up Chapter 4 later; right now there was something more important to do.

 **chris?** Viktor asked, and waited with bated breath. His fingers trembled over the keypad.

_ya???_

**can i tell you something?**

_…um okie doke_

**it’s confidential. please do not spread this information or you will ruin my life.**

_vitya did u kill a man_

**no** **i actually did tell people about welcome to the madness. i’m so sorry chris i should have told you. i made a mistake.**

Another deep breath. His hands were shaking hard now, too erratically to type well, and something nauseous coiled at the base of his throat. He was putting his life into the hands of someone he’d never even met—

_ok a why the FUCC did u lie and b how does that ruin ur life????????????!!?!???????????????_

**i’ll explain but first can you please say again you absolutely certainly will not tell anyone ever?**

_vitya!!!! please!!!!! whatever it is just say it im not gonna call every fuccer i know and tell em about this random stranger i met on wattpad dot com!!!!!!!!_

And here it was, he had reached terminal velocity and there was no way to slow down— Viktor bit down hard on his lip—

**i’m not a random stranger.**

**i’m actually viktor nikiforov.**

Despite himself, he let out a quiet sob—a minute passed, Viktor’s bottom lip quivered erratically in terror, his stomach twisted—

_no ur fuccing not dumbass_

**yes i am ill send a pic**

With shaking arms he lifted his phone, turned the camera flash on, and took a selfie. He must look awful, he knew, smile weak and fearful, pajama top twisted awkwardly to the side.

**< img_3173.png>**

_…_ _OH MY GOD_

_HOLY SHIT_

_oh my god_

_holy shit_

_how do i respond to this_

_um_

_ok_

_i christophe giacometti do solemnly swear that i will absolutely not let anyone at all know that viktor nikiforov writes fanfiction on wattpad or that he has a crush on another skater or that he is not straight_

**I’m bi**

_*or that he is bisexual_

The worry in the pit of Viktor’s stomach unraveled, and he let himself sink, relieved, into his mattress. As he’d hoped, Chris was understanding.

_wow_

_what a situation_

_wait shit_

_vitya is short for viktor isn’t it. the entire fucking time. god damn it_

**it’s short for both vitaly and viktor** _i_

_t was right in front of my nose and I didn’t see. i just thought ur real name was vitaly nikulichev .which i mean that’s actually,,,,,,, extremely close to viktor nikiforov,,,,,,,, suspiciously close i might addd,,,,, ;)_

**You got me~!**

_lol_

_actually sorry vik but ur gonna have 2 buy my silence. this is 2 gud an opportunity 2 pass up_

What? No, no, no, he’d thought—

_i need visual proof u have me in ur contacts as succ and the lick and eggplant emojis_

Um. Well.

_no wait_

_just put me n tha boyf in the story_

Viktor grinned. Now _that_ he could do.

* * *

**Love!!! on Ice by katsudon-vitya**

Chapter 4: Dawn of the First Day!!!!

 _Brrrrrrrrrring! Brrrrrrrrrrring!_ That’s my alarm clock, ringing just like it has every day for the past 5 years, but today it’s different. Today is my first day at my new high school in Detroit, and I’m so nervous! What if I don’t understand some of the science or math lessons because they’re in English and not Russian? I hope the students like me too, because even though I think Yuuri and Phichit are my friends now I want to have friends at school too.

As I get out of bed I think about how stupid it is that I have to go to school at all. Yuuri and Phichit go to college but that’s different, they can have classes whenever they want and skate all day. I wish I were just homeschooled or went to online school because then I could focus more on skating. But oh well~ I guess I have to go, so I might as well look good on my first day!

I pull a gray V-cut tank top out of my luggage (I haven’t unpacked all the way yet ┐('～`；)┌)  and some black khakis. I put them on in front of the mirror, and then buckle a belt around my waist. I put my hair in a loose bun and stuff it all in a yellow-gray beanie since I don’t want to stand out too much on my first day. Then I put on some lacy socks and some black boots with gold detailing. It’s not as cold here in America so I just put on a black jacket and not a coat. Then I brush my teeth and put on some eyeliner, and go out of the apartment.

My parents gave me a debit card so that I can pay the taxi driver to drive me to school or for a ticket on the bus. But as soon as I leave the apartment I find out I won’t need it because Yuuri walks out at the same time too and says “Hey Vitaly, want me to drive you to school today since it’s your first day?”

Oh my God! I’m blushing again, everyone at school will see me get out of Yuuri Katsuki’s car! But maybe that will make me seem cool, or be a good ice breaker, so I say yes to Yuuri and he smiles. I still can’t get over how adorable his smile is, I want to make him smile more often…

That will never happen though. I don’t even know if Yuuri likes boys, he probably doesn’t. Even if he did he would never like me back.

I walk with Yuuri down the stairs and out of the apartment and out to his car. He opens the door for me, such a gentlemen, and I sit down in the passenger seat. Yuuri gets in the drivers’ seat.

“Did you eat breakfast?” he asks me and I nod my head no, realizing that I forgot to make myself anything.

“Yeah I forget sometimes too! Here, you can have the rest of my bagel.” he says handing me the bagel.

“N-no Yuuri I don’t want to take your food!” I say shockedly. Yuuri is so nice to me, but he probably is this nice to everyone else. He probably gives his breakfast to Phichit all the time. I’m not special…

“Nah it’s fine Vitaly! I can buy something else later in the day if I get hungry.”

“Ok I guess…” I say reluctantly taking the bagel. Yuuri starts to drive and I stare at it. I’m about to bite into something that Yuuri Katsuki ate half of. Only a few weeks ago if someone had given me this bagel I would probably die. But now I barely feel weird about being near him at all, huh. When I bite it it doesn’t taste like Yuuri or anything though, it just tastes like a bagel.

Wait, OMG, I just realized—it’s like an indirect kiss!! Oh God I should have noticed that but I’ve already eaten the whole thing now, I can’t believe I just indirectly kissed the most handsome man in the entire world! _I wonder if I’ll ever get to kiss him for real?_ I wonder but then I push that thought out of my brain because it’s dumb.

When we get to the school my face is as red as an apple. I get out of Yuuri’s car and he wishes me good luck on my first day and I say thanks to him and wave goodbye. Some people watch me as I walk up the steps to school but I don’t mind, I’m too happy at just being around Yuuri. Just looking at him makes me light up like a candle inside my body. I reach the front doors and go inside the school, and take a map out from my backpack to find my first class of the day—homeroom. People walk around me in all directions, talking, laughing. They probably have known their friends forever, how am I going to make new friends here?

I’m almost late when I walk into homeroom, but luckily I’m not, and I sit down quickly. The teacher, Mrs. Jones, walks in and we all stand up and say hello to her. Then we stay standing and say the American pledge of allegiance at the flag. I don’t know any of the words to it at all! I hope nobody noticed. After the pledge of allegiance we all sit back down.

“Ok class” says Mrs. Jones, “We have 2 new transfer students in our homeroom today! Their names are Vitaly Nikulichev and Christophe Giacometti. Could you stand up and tell us a little bit about yourselves?”

Christophe stands up. He has curly blond hair and glasses, and is wearing a black turtleneck sweater and khakis. He says, “Bonjour everybody! My name is Chris and I’m from Switzerland. I have a cat and I like writing stories and reading. Also I like watching figure skating sometimes, but I can’t do it myself. I’m glad to be here in this class!” Then he sits down. OMG he likes figure skating! Maybe we’ll be friends. I wonder if he likes Yuuri?

I stand up and everyone looks at me. “Hello, I’m Vitaly, but you can call me Vitya for short! I’m from Russia and I moved here to skate actually. Aside from skating I like classical music and dogs. I’m very excited to be here and I hope to get to know all of you.” Chris looked at me and smiled when I said how I’m a skater.

Homeroom is basically a boring period where everyone does nothing or works on homework, and since I don’t have any homework I just sit there and stare at the desk. When the bell rings I go to my next few classes, and Chris isn’t in any of them and I don’t talk to anyone else. I felt a little awkward in all of them since I didn’t know what we were learning exactly but the teachers were nice to me. Finally it’s time to eat lunch, and I find the cafeteria and go to get my food. I see Christophe sitting at a table with another boy and I wave.

“Hey Vitya! You should come sit with us!” he says, so after I get my food (fried chicken and macaroni and cheese) I sit across the table from him. “This is Lukas from my chemistry class.” He looks at Lukas and blushes a little bit. OMG I ship it! (~￣▽￣)~

“So you like figure skating?” I ask and both Chris and Lukas say yes. “I’m a figure skater actually! I said that in class earlier I think~”

“That’s really neat!” says Chris. “So, have you met any famous skaters?” 

“Actually I just started training with Yuuri Katsuki and Phichit Chulanont, and I live right next door to Yuuri! I’m not that good though I don’t think, I’m only in the Juniors.”

Lukas spits out his drink and Chris stares at me and says “Woah! If you have the same coach as Yuuri and Phichit you must _really_ be good.”

“Thanks!” I say happily and smile. The rest of lunch is nice, Chris and Lukas and I talk about skating and Lukas tell us what school is generally like. He’s from Switzerland too but he came here way earlier than Chris and I. I’m not sure but I think Chris is flirting with him subtly a lot~!

The rest of the day is sort of fun, but I still can’t wait to get onto the rink. After school lets out I get a text and I pull out my phone.

Text: Hey this is Yuuri, do you want me to pick you up from school and take you to practice?

Me: Sure! (^▽^)

Oh man, I can’t believe it—I’m about to see Yuuri Katsuki skate in person! But wait, oh no, that means…

...HE’S GOING TO SEE ME SKATE TOO!!!!!!!

AN: Thanks to **number1Phituuri-trash** for coming up with their ship name! Vituuri FTW!

**40 reads, 18 votes**

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

i see my terms were met ;0 ur safe… 4 now (srsly good chap tho! can’t wait for vitaly 2 skate!) 

 

**wooded-waxwing**

Oh, you put me in it! Thanks Vitya! I ship me and Chris too :) LOL!                   

 **e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

                same here b ;) ;) ;) 

 

**katsukiminami**

:DDDDDDDDD YESSSS VITUURI!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH OMG!!!!!! CAN I BE IN THE STORY TOO PLEASE? :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 

 

**number1Phituuri-trash**

Thanks for the shoutout Vitya!! such a kawaii chapter~~~~  (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ 

 

**dorbees-official**

lmao there’s a hallmark movie with this same name about skating coming out                    

 **katsudon-vitya**

                Is there?  (″ิ_ิ)っ                                        

 **dorbees-official**

                yeah it won’t be as good though! :D

 

**nikiforovaries**

ok this dude is basically Viktor??? same initials, same hair??? ¿the fuck?

 

 **PHICHITPHICHITPHICHITPHICHIT** yaaas vitya u #get that bagel mmmmmboi

* * *

“’Nikiforovaries’ knows what’s up,” Phichit laughed. “’Ok this dude is basically Viktor? Same initials, same hair? The fuck?’”

“I didn’t know Sherlock Holmes had a Wattpad,” replied Yuuri, grinning.

“Or that he’s a fan of Viktor Nikiforov.”

“Viktor Nikiforov? Who’s that? Do you mean Vitaly Nikulichev?”

Phichit snorted. “Oh yeah.”

If Yuuri and Phichit hadn’t known before who Viktor was, they sure knew now. For one, only a few days ago he’d broken his noted social media silence to alert Phichit to probably the funniest thing he and Yuuri had ever read. Phichit had thanked him profusely and resolved to talk to him sometime. Clearly he had good taste in bad writing.

And another thing: The Junior Grand Prix started earlier than the Seniors, and it had just kicked off in France. They hadn’t watched it since they left the Juniors themselves, not until now, and—woah. Viktor was incredible, his performance impeccable and flowing, beautiful. The blinding wealth of talent on display had struck Yuuri immediately. When he made his senior debut—now _there_ would be a competitor. Honestly, he skated better than half the men in the Seniors already. The thought had come to him that they would probably be meeting at the GPF, and he couldn’t deny that he was a little excited.

What also struck Yuuri, though, was the fact that holy _shit_ did he really look like Vitaly Nikulichev.

Phichit had noticed it too, and went all the way back to Chapter 1 to double-check. And yep—same hair color and length, same eye color. After that it was a done deal—maybe there weren’t really that many similarities, maybe it was just a coincidence, but their shared mental picture of the star of “Love!!! on Ice” was now permanently Viktor Nikiforov, for better or worse. They’d even debated sending the fic to him. He’d probably get a kick out of it.  

The debate was still on and thriving, actually.

“You know, speaking of Viktor, I still think he’d laugh his ass off at this,” said Phichit, turning pointedly to Yuuri. “He gave us the neko fucker asylum thing; I think we should repay him.”

Yuuri shook his head. “Not everyone thinks fanfiction about themselves is entertaining. I know technically it’s not him, but it might weird the guy out or reflect badly on us or something.”

“C’mon! We showed Leo the one about him and Guang-Hong in the mafia, and he had it _printed out and framed!_ People love this stuff.”

“We know Leo and Guang-Hong; we don’t know Viktor!”

Phichit laid his hand on Yuuri’s shoulder. “Look—Worst case scenario he just doesn’t think it’s funny, and we apologize in a DM and it’s all good. We have nothing to lose.”

Yuuri turned the idea over in his head for a moment. Was there really nothing to lose? Viktor clearly had a sense of humor. But Russia was notoriously homophobic, and Viktor might find the idea of a poorly-written clone of himself romancing another man offensive, especially considering that man was another skater—but even then it was still a joke, and they could still apologize, and it wasn’t like they wrote it but—

“Yuuri. Viktor thinks bad writing is funny. This is bad writing. Viktor will think it’s funny. Law of Detachment.” Phichit paused. “Wouldn’t you like to get to know this guy? He’ll probably be in the Seniors next year. Humor is the best icebreaker.”

That got through. When they met at the GPF (because there was no way in hell Viktor wasn’t making the final with that kind of talent, and Yuuri was, well, _Yuuri_ ), they’d have something to talk about already. Yuuri nodded shakily. “Yeah—yeah, ok, you got me. Go ahead.” He smiled. “Tell me how he responds.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: this is officially the longest thing i've ever written  
> thanks as always for comments/kudos/bookmarks!


	6. TRUE LOVE AND LUTZES?! (~￣▽￣)~ *:･ﾟ✧

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to muguu_writes for giving me the blueberry jelly thing in the beginning!
> 
> also shoutout to wattpad user Hetalia_satan for attempting to help xX_YuriKat_Xx out with his difficulties using photoshop. Hetalia_satan, idk if you read this fic or if you're just a random person on wattpad who thinks yurio's account is real, but if you're out there, you are a kindred spirit, and 12 yr old edgy weeb yurio thanks you.
> 
> standard universal yoi fic disclaimer: i know nothing about figure skating

_The year was 2013. Yuuri Katsuki sat hunched over his desktop computer, typing with ferocity. There was no way he was staying up past midnight, but the chapter was almost finished, and he just had to get it done—he had almost 30 bookmarks on A03, and it had been more than a week since he’d updated last._

“Rin,” sighs Haru, with the intertwining metal bands of the fence pressing into his muscled back through the woven synthetic fibers shrouding him. Rin’s warm, solid hand closes softly around his, fingers threading together like ribbons through the barely-rusted chain links. “Oh Rin…”

_They were going to kiss now. Yuuri had gotten 10,000 words into the fic already and just didn’t care anymore—He hadn’t intended for the damn thing to be so drawn-out or needlessly angsty. Honestly, his only goal from the start was to make the two hot swimmer dudes suck face, and by God he was going to fulfill it now._

The crimson-haired athlete stares down into Haru’s glimmering azure eyes, wavering orbs of blueberry jelly with a black-ice center, the light of the sun reflected strongly in patches, like waves over a roiling, deep ocean on a summer’s day. Immersed in the fathomless depths of those magical irises is the sense of a feeling, a shared current traversing through both boys’ brains, one that will soon merge and plunge down into the inescapable abyss of love. They both feel its drive, its ferocious rush through their spirits, like a rip current that drags all who enter it under the water. It swells through the vertebrae in their backs as they lean closer, in the quiver of their expectant lips.Haru’s ragged breath mingles with Rin’s, and the raven-haired boy shivers in anticipation of this penultimate connection as he watches the flick of Rin’s rose-colored tongue over his glistening jagged bone protrusions. And then, it happens. Their lips meet softly at first—

_Yuuri stopped. He knew the basic schematic of heated makeout scenes—starts out chaste, ends up with tongues shoved down throats—but having never been kissed himself, it would only be proper to use a reference. He opened up a Chrome tab to find one._

_The next day, he would spend several minutes removing all traces of a Google search for “detailed kissing instructions” from his Internet history._

* * *

“You alright Yuuri?” Phichit asked as he typed out the message. It turned out trying to open a page on Wattpad’s mobile website was a hassle if you already had the app installed, but that was the only way to copy the link. Several minutes had passed since the “send-Viktor-the-weird-clone-fic” idea had gotten the greenlight.

Yuuri’s blank stare shifted into something more attentive to respond, but his head still lolled back onto the couch. “Yeah. I was just thinking about the stuff I used to write.” He laughed softly.

Phichit perked up, as he always did when Yuuri mentioned this. “You mean your Free! stuff that you _still won’t let me read?_ Because I hope the thinking you’re doing is _reconsidering that decision._ ”

“That decision is never being reconsidered.”

“Aww,” whined Phichit. “I guess I’ll just have to keep looking, then. I’ll find it eventually.”

“How will you know?” Yuuri teased. “I’m never telling you.”

“Good point.” A pause as Phichit hit _send_. “’Kay, I did it.”

Yuuri smiled a shallow smile and shifted in his seat. He still wasn’t sure if their decision was the right one. There was no reason Viktor _shouldn’t_ be weirded out by the fic; he might not even have known that the skating fandom wrote things of the sort. They could be permanently ruining Viktor’s perception of his fans. Or—

Viktor _was_ 15\. Age 15 for Yuuri was the peak of his Free! fanfiction years. Maybe—maybe the same was true for Viktor.

He doubted it, but—Yuuri’s fandom had existed long before Viktor had gained fame, and if the younger skater had been a fan before, then why would he have stopped? Was there any _definitive reason_ Viktor couldn’t have written “Love!!! on Ice”?

…Yeah, okay, no. That was ridiculous.

“Oh, hey!” chirped Phichit. “It just got updated! Chapter five—holy shit—‘TRUE LOVE AND LUTZES question mark-exclamation point-weeaboo face?” He snorted. “Moving a little fast there, Vitaly. Wanna read?”

* * *

**Love!!! on Ice by katsudon-vitya**

Chapter 5: TRUE LOVE AND LUTZES?! (~￣▽￣)~ *:･ﾟ✧

AN: Thanks to Chris for helping me with words and sentences! (◕‿◕✿) Also in this the season hasn’t started yet

Yuuri’s car pulls up in front of the school and he opens the door. He has on loose workout clothes and his bag is under the dashboard. Even in sweatpants and a hoodie he still looks so handsome! Sometimes I still can’t believe I get to see him every day now.“Hey Vitya, do you want to get food before we go to practice?” he asks me.

“Where?”

“We can get smoothies from Whole Foods and eat them in the car.”

Mmm that sounds good! I nod my head yes to Yuuri and after we drive to the Whole Foods and get smoothies, we start to drive to practice. I’m so excited to skate with Yuuri but I’m worried too because I’m not as good as him at skating, and I don’t want him to laugh at me or something! What if I miss a jump? I hope I won’t though.

We get to the rink. As we pull up I see Phichit getting out of the car with another boy. The boy looks my age and he has bright yellow hair with a red streak in it. Maybe he’s another skater and I can make another friend!

Yuuri and I get out of the car and walk up to meet Phichit and the boy. “Hi” I say to him “My name is Vitaly Nikulichev! Are you also a skater?”

“Yeah! My name is Minami! I just got here today! I’m excited to train with you and I like your hair!”

“You have really awesome hair too!” I tell Minami and he smiles. Yuuri and Phichit go inside and start warming up and I stay outside and talk with Minami. I find out he likes Yuuri a lot too and he hasn’t talked to him yet, so I say that Yuuri is really nice and is totally as handsome in person. Also we go to the same high school apparently, but he wasn’t there today because he just got here.

Then I realize that practice is about to start in five minutes so we go inside. We change into our skating clothes. Both of us have tight-fitting black shirts and pants and some skating gloves. Then we walk to the side of the rink on the left. Yuuri and Phichit and Ciao Ciao are already out there and they turn to look at us when we come in. Suddenly I blush. Yuuri is wearing a dark blue shirt and black pants that are very tight. I noticed how nice his legs were in person which is why I’m blushing.

Then Ciao Ciao says “Vitaly and Minami, please go warm up! First thing we’re going to watch you skate and see what you’re good at and what you need to work on. Yuuri and Phichit just wait please since you’re going to watch too.”

Wait is Yuuri going to judge how good I am at skating????? Oh no… I’m even more nervous now…

I nod my head at Ciao Ciao and go to stretch. Then I run some laps around the track. A bunch of hockey players stare at me. I want to put up my middle finger at them but I don’t because I might get in trouble. I don’t like hockey players because they’re assholes and they always make fun of me.

Finally I’m all warmed up so I go with Minami to lace up my skates. They have gold blades that Albert got me when I won gold in the Juniors the first time and I love them a lot. We put on our guards and walk over to the rink again. Yuuri and Phichit are skating around but they stop when they see us and skate back to the middle of the rink.

My face gets red as I take off my guards and step on the ice. Wow, of all the things I thought would happen to me ever I never thought Yuuri Katsuki and Phichit Chulanont were going to watch me skate. It’s very surreal and weird.

“Minami please go first” says Ciao Ciao so Minami skates out to the middle and Ciao Ciao tells him some things to do. He’s a really good skater and I’m impressed as I watch him do clean spins, and Salchows and a loop. Ciao Ciao nods and smiles and tells me to go out. I feel like my skates are almost shaking but luckily they aren’t, or else I couldn’t jump.

Even though Yuuri is watching me I land all the jumps Ciao Ciao asks me to do and I see Yuuri smiling. I also do a decent Biellmann. The more I skate the less nervous I get and it feels very natural to be skating in front of Yuuri. I start to feel really confident. More confident then I’ve ever felt, it’s like Yuuri gives me the strength and energy to do better! Suddenly I have an idea.

“Ciao Ciao do you mind if I do a Lutz?”

“Ok” says Ciao Ciao and I smile. Yuuri and Phichit look excited.

I build up some speed and take off into the Lutz and start to spin, once, twice, thrice…

… _FOUR TIMES!_ *:･ﾟ✧ _∩(_ _︶_ _▽_ _︶_ _)∩_ *:･ﾟ✧I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST LANDED A QUAD LUTZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN FRONT OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _YUURI KATSUKI_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There’s a really huge smile on my face and I start freaking out a little bit. Just a little though. Yuuri looks really really impressed and so do Phichit and Celestino, but woah OMG, is Yuuri _blushing?_

“Wow!” he says “Vitya that was… amazing! You’re one of the best skaters I’ve ever seen!” He opens up his arms and smiles enormously. “Come here I should congratulate you for that!”

Yeah this is officially the best day of my life ever. I skate into Yuuri’s arms and he hugs me really hard and tight. He’s so warm I think I might die~  I feel him breathe on my neck and whisper “You are so amazing and I want to see you skate so much more…” and my face explodes into the color of fire. I’m fanboying and just squealing with regular joy at landing the Lutz inside but my mouth is shut as Yuuri keeps hugging me. I feel something hot running through my body and I want to stay like this forever… is this… love?

Yuuri pulls back from the hug which is disappointing, but I feel so happy right now it doesn’t really matter. Ciao Ciao pats me on the back and tells me that I did an excellent jump and Phichit and Minami high-five me. The rest of practice goes well and I talk with Ciao Ciao a little about the Grand Prix which is coming up. He says I should go in the Seniors for the Grand Prix and do more quad Lutzes in my programs and I say that I’ll think about it. Practice is kind of a blur though so I don’t remember much of that conversation. But I do remember that Yuuri tells me he wants to talk to me after practice is over.

After I change back into my regular clothes I head out to Yuuri’s car. I’m a little nervous now too, what if he tells me not to do Seniors because he doesn’t want the competition? Yuuri is too nice for that though so probably not. I get in the car and Yuuri does too.

“Vitya” he says softly, “I said this before but you’re really impressive. I think you should do Seniors.”

I smile. “Really?”

“Yeah you’re amazing! That actually isn’t what I wanted to walk about though. What I wanted to ask you is do you want to go out to dinner, just you and me? Not in a date way or anything, just to celebrate your first day and that awesome Lutz.”

I want to scream _YES!!!!!!!_ but I don’t, and instead I just ask where we should go.

“I  know, I think we should eat at this really good Japanese restaurant! Their katsudon tastes just like my mom’s!” Yuuri says excitedly. I feel so honored that he wants me to eat his favorite food with him. 

“Yes absolutely~ that sounds delicious! I’ve never had katsudon before, so I guess I’ll just get that!” Wait oops—

Yuuri looks at me weirdly. “I thought at the dinner you said you liked katsudon!”

Suddenly everything spills out. “Um—I’m sorry Yuuri, I was just really nervous seeing you for the first time because I’m such a massive fan of yours and I just wanted to agree with everything you said because I—think you’re the world’s greatest skater!”

Yuuri _blushes_ again and pulls me into his arms again for another hug. My head is on his chest and I can feel his heartbeat. He leans into my ear and whispers “Just between you and me Vitya, I really like you a lot and you don’t have to be nervous around me…” We stay like that for a long time and I just listen to his heartbeat. It’s beautiful like music. I feel so peaceful, like I’m meant to stay this way forever and fit perfectly with Yuuri.

Finally we have to break apart, and Yuuri starts to drive us back to our apartments so we can get changed into nice clothes for the restaurant. I think about how different everything is now.

A few days ago I couldn’t imagine life with Yuuri but now I can’t imagine it without him.

**132 reads, 19 votes**

**katsukiminami**

YOU PUT ME IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH VITYA I LOVE YOU AND YOURE THE BEST WRITER IN ALL OF EWATTPAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D                   

 **katsudon-vitya**

               Welcome! <3

 

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

man this is a worcc of ART! that last line just—ugh, this relationship is so beautiful 

 

**dorbees-official**

inb4 “OMG BIKTOP HIKIFOPOB RIPOFF” shit                    

 **e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**                    

               lmao @ biktop hikifopob                                        

 

**mrs-lola-nikiforov**

Um wtf???? Yeah this is definitely Viktor, only 15 yr old who could land a quad lutz!!!! Why the hell r u using him instead of just MAKING UP YOUR OWN CHARACTER? smh @ the Katsuki fandom. what a shitlord 

 

**nikiforovaries**

Keep! Vitenka! Away! From! Yuuri! precious ice bby isn’t just fodder for your damn Katsuki fantasies! he would be ashamed of u! 

 

**xX_YuriKat_Xx**

don’t listen 2 all the ppl saying mean things this is a rlly good story! *growls at the mean ppl* fuck off go be rude somewhere else assholes! 

 

**notwithabang-butwithapoodle**

guys chill tf out in this comments section it’s a fucking coincidence this is just another wannabe somewhere rubbing his dick at a life-size yuuri katsuki body pillow it doesn’t matter lmao 

 

**yuuri-is-love-yuuri-is-life**

viktor fandom, i understand why ur upset but please just leave us alone! it’s only a fanfiction and we yuuri fans are just like you trying to enjoy ourselves! no need to bash us for it :)

**nikiforovaries**

               oh fuck off “uwu katsuki fans are just like everyone else uwu” i don’t see the ip alliance using thinly-veiled yuuri clones as pawns in shitty wish-fulfillment fanfic!

 

**TimedWriter42**

NO YOU CANT USE VIKTOR AS YOUR OC!!!!!!! HE’S FUCKING STRAIGHT DUMBASS!!!!!                   

 **dorbees-official**

               uh, no. have you seen him                   

 **TimedWriter42**

               he had a GIRLFRIEND you fucking sjw                   

 **dorbees-official**

               nope. no, no he didn’t.

* * *

Viktor cracked his knuckles and settled back into bed. That felt like a well-done, meaty chapter—although he had somewhat exaggerated his skating abilities—and he hoped his small following would enjoy it. Well—his Wattpad following, not—the other one.

They were called the Ice Prince Alliance. He’d found that out pretty quickly after tweeting out “welcome to the madness”—they’d gone into a frenzy. They’d posted _reaction videos._ To a _tweet_. Viktor had watched some where the subject had come close to tears of joy. It was a little scary, honestly. Impressive, yes, but scary.

He hadn’t posted anything else on social media until the Grand Prix kicked off.

From the research he’ done, that was when the Alliance typically “rose from the ashes,” so to speak. Apparently they weren’t even at full force in the off-season, which— was slightly terrifying, recent events considered. Viktor wasn’t quite sure how to handle a rabid fan-horde, so his usual “come-watch-me-skate” posts were as bland and unlikely to spark a massive reaction as possible. Of course, they’d still _gotten_ one, but sans reaction videos.

But he couldn’t escape the reaction vids for long. They seemed to be a trend among his fans. Hundreds more came the nights after his performances in France, full of people shrieking with glee during his short program and actually sobbing during his free skate, which was apparently very moving. There were people already beginning to make their yearly cases as to why he would one day become the world’s greatest, and people singing the wonders of his elegant costume, which had a sort of half-skirt thing on it. Some apparently were calling him a gay icon or something, and others were violently denying that he was either gay or an icon, and it was all just very confusing, so his gold-medal-selfie had been as “safe” as possible too. No reaction vids to that one.

Did Viktor appreciate the attention? Yes. He’d get used to it in time, he was sure, and it was nice seeing that so many people thought he was a great skater. Granted, _he_ thought he was a pretty damn good skater himself, but that was beside the point. The point—it was nice, having a performance he thought maybe wasn’t the best but being universally praised on it anyway. Yakov had been intensely critical, even though he’d gotten gold, and when he’d needed a pick-me-up—voila. The Internet had one for him.

Viktor smiled and stretched out his legs under the covers, listening to Makkachin snuffle around somewhere in the corner of his room. Yeah—he liked this Ice Prince Alliance. He’d check up on them now, actually. Why not?

Viktor closed his laptop and craned his torso to slide it under his bed. He decided to look through Twitter first—maybe at some of his direct messages? He never checked those. Might be interesting…

…and holyshit there was one from Phichit.

He clenched his fists. Phichit wanted to talk to him. Phichit, _Yuuri’s best friend,_ wanted to talk to him. If he got on good terms with Phichit, maybe at the GPF banquet he could talk to Yuuri, who all things considered probably actually knew who he was, and then maybe Yuuri would think _hey this guy isn’t so bad_ and somehow by the end of the night they’d be making out in a bathroom stall—

No, Viktor was not doing that now. He was checking the fucking message.

He tapped it—and it read:

_found this, is it u? :0 *x files theme*_

With a link below.

A link that led to “Love!!! on Ice.”

Viktor dropped his phone onto his legs.

His career—no, his entire _life_ flashed before his eyes. Phichit knew—even if he denied, Phichit would find out definitively that it was him, and he would tell Yuuri, and Yuuri would be disgusted and reveal to the world what a backwards lonely weirdo he was and then he’d be _banned from skating ever again._

Frantically, Viktor tapped out a text to Chris.

**PLEASE HELP IMMEDITAELY PHICHIT KNOWS ABOUT THE FIC I DONT THINK HES TOLD ANYONE BUT HE JUST ASKED ME ABOUT IT ON TWITTER AND U KNOW HOW BAD I AM AT DENYING THINGS!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!**

God bless Chris for always being on his phone, honestly, because his reply was (as always) immediate.

_publicly or privately_

**privately**

_ok that’s good. ur sure u don’t want to just deny it?_ _no offense but u writing fic is probably not a likely scenario to him_

**chris i cant keep a secret to save my life u know this please what do i tell him? i don’t want to lie**

_ok_

_phichit’s nice and he loves skating fans a hella bunch. he l o v e s fic he probably thinks it’s hilarious af and endearing or something. u’ll be fine._

_also i realize how intensely stressful this must be for u tho. i’m real sorry vit and i’m glad u know that i’m here for u_

_deep breaths buddy. it’s all good._

**thank you so much chris ur an amazing person and if i die within the next minute i leave u all that i own**

His palms were getting slicker and slicker with sweat, and he almost wanted to just scream at his ceiling fan, to rage and sob and beat his hands against his pillow. (It was not, to clarify, a Yuuri body pillow.) But he didn’t—he was Viktor Nikiforov, and according to at least half the Internet he was the best skater alive, and he was going to face this like an adult.

Viktor opened the DMs up again. Stared at the message. Bit his lip. There were a million things he could say, but he thought—what was the most important thing in the moment? What did he need to make sure of?

He typed:

**Yes.**

**I’m so so sorry**

**Please don’t tell Yuuri**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is (katsudon-vitya now i changed it) if u want to talk or some shit
> 
> also if ur wondering, there will be Consequences for viktor tweeting out w2tm, but chris isn't bringin it up yet because he's not ready to start shit with the dude he just found out is viktor nikiforov


	7. twisted oddysey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are some very brief mentions of suicide in this chap, nothing graphic though.
> 
> also I swear I don't hate JJ/think he's that much of an asshole I just had to make someone be That Guy and JJ was... the most practical choice

“He replied!” Phichit opened the message and grinned. “’Yes, I’m so so sorry, please don’t tell Yuuri.’ Ha— I told you he had a sense of humor!”

Yuuri sighed with relief. “How should we reply?”

“Oh God—Can I tell him it’s fine because you write fic of him too?” Phichit laughed. Normally Yuuri wouldn’t have liked the idea—you never knew whether someone was adept or not at understanding sarcasm—but that kind of joke was right up Viktor’s alley, apparently, so he nodded his head. As Phichit typed, Yuuri watched the letters appear on the phone screen over his shoulder.

_he won’t mind he writes fanfiction about you too_

_;D_

“And now,” said Phichit, “we wait.”

Though minutes passed, Viktor replied eventually. It was just one word—

**Really?**

—but Phichit called Yuuri, who had gone to the kitchen to get himself a drink, back anyways to deliberate over a response. They decided on this, heads pressed together over the screen:

_yeah… the main character’s name is yuusei kikuchi_

_the 2 of u fall in love over the course of several skating-based escapades_

_there’s a space jam sort of deal at one point? that’s my favorite_

Viktor replied instantly this time:

**Wow! I’m flattered~!**

Something about the tilde caught Phichit off guard. Didn’t… didn’t the “Love!!! on Ice” guy use tildes too? It wasn’t like that meant anything, but it was nonetheless a little… disconcerting? Weird? Funny? He wasn’t really sure how to name the emotion he was feeling.

“You know,” said Yuuri, “part of me thinks he’s actually taking this seriously.”

“That he’ not lying? That we really, _actually_ found Viktor Nikiforov’s _actual_ self-insert f—“

“Well—it’s ridiculous, I know, but technically we aren’t sure that he’s being sarcastic right now.”

Phichit stared at Yuuri.

Yuuri stared at Phichit.

“Do you think we should… ask him, maybe?”

Phichit sighed. “That would ruin the joke. There’s no way that—“ he thought for a moment, took in the look on Yuuri’s face—“Actually, good idea. I’ll make sure.”

“I should probably get to bed,” yawned Yuuri. Glancing at the clock revealed that it was almost 11 PM (23 by international standards.)

Phichit nodded and waved him off with a smile. “’Night! I’ll tell you what he says in the morning.” Yuuri smiled back and shuffled off to his room as Phichit hit _send._

_((yuuri wanted me to make sure u know we’re just joking around lmao))_

_((he doesn’t actually write fanfic abt u))_

_((or if he does i sure don’t know about it! :) ))_

* * *

 These last few minutes had been the greatest emotional rollercoaster of Viktor’s life.

He’d thought that he’d known fear. That he’d known soul-soaring elation, that he’d known soul-crushing defeat. No—not in the world before, a world pre-Phichit-Chulanont-reading-his-fanfiction. That world seemed so far away now, like the calm before a storm that destroyed your house, or the fluffy chapters before the angst hit.

Now, he lived in a different world. A world where _Phichit Chulanont had read his fanfiction,_ where he’d _jokingly implied that Yuuri wrote a similar fanfiction about him that in some way involved Space Jam._ Viktor wasn’t sure what exactly an aneurysm was, but he was sure he’d almost had one when he’d read that set of messages. Like a happy-aneurysm, or something. (Seriously, though, what was an aneurysm?)

He saw it now like this: The idea that Yuuri might a. reciprocate his feelings and b. share his greatest interest had raised Viktor’s spirit to the glorious heights of heaven (a place of many warm poodles and infinite ice rinks) and given it the grand tour. Angels had serenaded him. Yuuri had been there. They’d pair-skated, sensually.

And the idea he was presented immediately after, that it was all a joke, had dissolved heaven around him, and then, as he fell screaming to the earth, systematically ripped every one of his dreams from his head and shredded it.

…Actually, no, that metaphor was ridiculous.

He should get over it. Of _course_ it wasn’t real. Yuuri Katsuki had probably never written a fanfiction in his life, and Viktor clearly didn’t understand the fundamentals of sarcasm. There was even a silver lining—if Phichit was joking around for the rest of the conversation, he might’ve just randomly found “Love!!! on Ice” and thought the similarities between Viktor and Vitaly were funny enough to warrant telling him about it. Finally, a good way out!

**((Haha I know~! You know I didn’t write that right? Lol!))**

_((yeah m8y! lmao))_

He wiped the metaphorical sweat off his brow. Phichit didn’t suspect a thing.

…and then it sunk in that Phichit had said _Yuuri wanted me to make sure_ earlier, meaning Yuuri was there with him. Meaning Viktor had just effectively had a conversation by proxy with Yuuri Katsuki.

And that more likely than not Yuuri had _read the fic._

Viktor wrapped his arms around himself and screamed.

* * *

  **welcome to the madness by xX_YuriKat_Xx**

Chapter 2: twisted oddysey

AN: BEKA FUCK YOU!!! *GROWLS* IF I GET ARRESTED ITS YOUR FAULT!! >:( thanks hetalia satan 4 helpin me realize i got illegal photoshop…even though sometimes i wish i didn’t know.. but life is cruel that way… also thanks eggpant emoji 4 helpin me wif the stry! fuck off haterz i write what i want!

Beka and I were in the black spaceship flying through space to my grandfather’s house who I haven’t seen since I was taken to the asylum. We fly past some asteroid bits and I know it will be a  long ride so I decided to ask Beka about how he got arrested and taken to the asylum. “Why did they throw you in that hole for?” I ask.

Beka says “Because I tricked a lot of innocent people into taking illegal copies of Photoshop so they would get arrested and laughed when they got dragged to jail.” You know all my life I thought Beka was a pretty good person but now I GUESS NOT!!!! Making innocent people go to jails is the worst thing to do!!! I’m so angry at him that I get super strength like when I went insane and felt the feeling of loving to kill earlier when I escaped. I get strong enough to throw him out the airlock and he goes out into space and explodes because the pressure out there kills you. (AN: THAT’S WHAT YOU GET MOTHER FUCKER!!!! >:D HAHAHAHAHAHA)

I take over at the ship’s controls. I don’t know what they mean but I see the steering handle so I just use that to get myself out of the asteroid belt and into clear space, but I don’t know where to go now! I pull up the ship’s computer and look on the cameras but here are no sips behind me so I type into the ship where my grandfather’s house is. It’s in the Kiperium region of the galaxy on planet Afselon and since that is so far away it will take days to get there. I keep flying for housr and hours but eventually I get tired so I fly onto a gray looking planet. I find other clothes in the back of the spaceship like a tiger print jacket and some black skinny jeans and I put it on and put the hood up so people can’t see me easily since I escaped from the asylum, it might put out videos of me everywhere so they can catch be back but I’ll die before that  happens! >:3

I land the spaceship next to a bar it had a large neon sign on it that says “Chris’ Pub” in Galactic language. That is the language everyone can read but there are other launguages too on the other planets. I go out down the ramp and walk up to the bar and the door slid open to let me in. It is very bright inside and there is loud music that is very slow and electronic and it smells like food. Mmmmm…. food… we were starved at the asylum so much and I wonder if they have… pirozhki… but thinking of that makes me think of my grandfather and how much Imiss him, will he make for me pirozhki when I see him again or will he report me back to the neko asylum police? Oh well I shouldn’t think about that now I just need food.

I go up to the bar and the owner comes up. “Hi my name is Chris” he says and he looks a little older than me, with curly blond hair and green eyes. “What would you like to eat or drink?” he asked.

“Do you have pirozhki?” I ask.

“Yeah we do that’s our specialty!” he says and I start feeling warm and happy and excited.

“Ok Ill have 3 pirozhki and some milk please” I say because I’m a neko and neko’s love milk. Chris goes and gets the milk and I drink it while he gets the pirozhki, then he gets them and brings them to me. I bite into it and it tastes just like my grandfathers’ pirozhki and reminds me so much of home.

“Are they good?” Chris asks excitedly.

“Yes they are!” I say.

“Ok that will be 12 galactic credits!” says Chris and then I realize that I don’t have any money! Hmm what can I do, I don’t care about killing people so I could just kill him but he made such good pirozhki… “Oh hey” he says “actually you look like you enjoy them so much that is enough payment. We have rooms here too for free if you want to sleep.”

“Chris thank you so much!” I say happily and Chris leads me up to the room it is on the second floor of the bar. It is such a nice place compared to an old dirty cell and I will be able to sleep for the first time without worrying about waking up randomly because of being tortured.

Chris closes the door and comes close to me and says quietly “Ok I know that you escaped from the Neko Asylum in Sector Nanwuld because youre ship is one from there and I used to work there. But I won’t turn you in because I know how awful that place is and I want to help you asmuch as I can. Is there anything at all I can do to help you out?”

I’m really shocked and I wonder whether to kill him but decide he’s telling the truth and if he isn’t… well… you know what happens then >;3 I feel greatful that he has done this. “Yes actually there is something… my “friend” who I escaped with it turns out he sent innocent people to jail on purpose and I threw him out the airlock so now I need a travel partner… can you come with me to go to my grandfather?”

“Yes absolutely, we will leave tomorrow and I can disguise the ship so the neko asylum can’t find it as easily.” Chris says smiling and I smile too, he is such a good person and I think he will be a good friend, even better than Beka. Actually it won’t be very hard to be a better friend because Beka probably would have TOLD ME TO GET ILLEGAL PHOTOSHOP AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR THAT and sent back to the neko asylum quicker. Chris leaves and I go into bed and pull the covers up which are very soft. I can hear the music coming up from downstairs. Soon I fall asleep thinking of what will happen next.

So that is how Chris joined me on my adventure...

AN: do you think i should make an art book vote yes or no in the comments?

**10032 reads, 3812 votes**

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

ahh revenge, nothing sweeter lmao. story’s goin gr8!

 

**otabek-s_wattpad_account**

I’ve been using the same PS as you and nobody’s arrested me. You’re fine.

                   **xX_YuriKat_Xx**

U COULDVE TOLD ME IT WAS ILLEGAL!!!!!!!  >:(

                   **otabek-s_wattpad_account**

                   Yes, and you could stop ignoring my texts, but here we are, aren’t we?

                   **xX_YuriKat_Xx**

FUK U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**o0vitya-nikifucker0o**

hOW THE FUKC DID VITYA FIND THIS WHY DID HE READ THIS WHAT DOES OUR BBY D O IN HIS SPARE TIME JFC

 

**I-AM-YOUR-KING**

H o w is anyone this bad at writing? Have you never been to school? Do you even speak English? kys

                   **otabek-s_wattpad_account**

                   H o w are you that much of an asshole? Shut up and fuck off.

                   **e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

                   i second. you gain nothing from ridiculing this kid.

                   **I-AM-YOUR-KING**

                   What does he gain if I don’t? He can’t live in a bubble forever lmao

                   **e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

                   theres a difference between con-crit and telling someone to commit suicide

                   **I-AM-YOUR-KING**

“kys” isn’t serious idiot; it’s dark humor, which you clearly lack the intelligence to understand.

                   **e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

                   SUICIDE ISN’T, NEVER HAS BEEN, AND NEVER WILL BE A FUCKING JOKE.

                   **I-AM-YOUR-KING**

                   triggered

                   **otabek-s_wattpad_account**

                   You are a degenerate. Your real life is listless and unfulfilling, or perhaps you know there you cannot get away with shameless abuse of the people around you, but whatever the reason, you are   compelled to bully children on the Internet. I don’t know what you get out of this—perhaps a booster to your false sense of intelligence, or of superiority? —but I know this. You are not intelligent, not in the slightest. One who is truly intelligent knows the value of kindness, but you do not, and it will ruin you. You will masquerade through life, presenting yourself as elevated above the common man, but all those who know you will see through the farce and abandon you. Will you have a lover, a spouse? Maybe, but not for long, for when they catch so much as the slightest glimpse through the window into your pitiful soul they will recoil and leave you.

                    In the later years of life, when your vitality is gone, there will be nobody by your side. You might turn to drink, for there is no warmth in your heart to help you through hardship, and not a shred of courage in your soul. When you are on your deathbed, your liver failing from years of rampant alcoholism, there will be nobody to attend to you. You will cry out—“Anyone, please!” You will beg for someone to comfort you, to tell you that death is peaceful and kind, but no one will come. Your hands shaking, your breath ragged, you will die, alone.

                    You are not the superior here. You are inferior, you are nothing, so I say to you, again: Shut up and fuck off.

 

**skatingnoises**

Woah this is the best thing I’ve ever read! I’m in tears over the untimely death of Beka :( Will Yuri ever find his grandfather?

 

**viktr_9**

the SUSPENSE is KILLING ME! don’t listen to the assholes, write more! :)

**_(show more comments)_ **

* * *

 Viktor had been screaming to himself for around a minute before he heard the distinctive buzz of a new message.

He took some slow breaths, let the hysteria die down. So what? Yuuri read his fanfiction, but it wasn’t like the older skater was ever going to know who wrote it. As the deep swell of his lungs calmed him, he swiped his phone open, assuming it was Chris (the only person who ever texted him, really. Mila and Georgi barely interacted with him outside of practice.)

He’d been right, kind of—it _was_ Chris, Chris and someone else, he didn’t know who. A group chat.

_welcome to the official yuri plisetsky protection squad_

_president—me, vp—otabek altin (the other guy), and you_

**_Who is “you” referring to, and why are they here?_ **

_i don’t feel comfortable saying who he is at this time but he’s directly involved with the mass-release of w2tm_

**_Is it the skater? Viktor Nikiforov?_ **

_no_

What the hell was going on? Viktor felt vaguely like he was being inducted into some sort of secret organization, or worse, shaken down by one. At least Chris was still protecting his identity.

**Um? What’s this, has something happened with Yuri?**

_alrighty let’s get this meeting started with an updated briefing on the situation: skating fans (read: the ice prince alliance) have been reading w2tm en masse and many have commented. according to otabek (he read them all) most are positive or neutral-leaning, however some are blatantly negative. someone actually told yuri to kill himself in a comment which it is highly likely he’s read since it’s near the top. otabek, how’s yuri doin atm?_

**_He still won’t answer me._ **

**_To the other guy: he was pissed at me for helping him get Photoshop off Pirate Bay. He didn’t realize it was illegal. Thought he was going to get arrested for it._ **

**_I’m not sure if he’s still mad over that or if he’s upset over the comments, and it’s very worrying._ **

_considering yuri’s a pretty confrontational kinda kid we expect altercations with some of the negative commenters, and that’s like no. 2 on the agenda_

_fuccing up anyone who fuccs with yuri, or stoppin it before it happens_

_his life is hard enough he doesn’t need this too_

**_Yeah._ **

_(_ _2 be clear no. 1 on the agenda is findin out what yuri’s up to rn)_

_but that’s not why ur in this chat bud_

…Viktor realized why he was in this chat.

This was his fault. He had thrown some poor kid to the wolves, and all for what, a hashtag? There were better ways to start interacting with fans. Shame on him.

Justifications flashed around his head— _It was on the Internet anyways! You didn’t know how many fans you had!_ –but Chris didn’t want excuses. Excuses weren’t going to help Yuri. Viktor needed to apologize—and to tell this Otabek person who he was. The guy clearly cared about Yuri, and deserved just as much of an apology as Chris. To lie about his identity now would be a pitiful cop-out.

Viktor steadied himself. Yes, he was going to apologize, and then he was going to _do something about it._

**Chris you don’t have to protect me here. I fucked up and I should own up to it. Yes I’m Viktor Nikiforov**

**And I’m extremely sorry**

**What I did was inconsiderate and wrong. If there’s any way I can help please tell me and I’ll do it**

**_Are you kidding me?_ **

**_How the hell did you find Yuri? Why did you tweet his story? What fucking sequence of events led to this happening?_ **

_ok first of all thanks vitya for owning up to it we appreciate it_

_and second. I told him_

**_WHAT?_ **

_i didn’t know he would do what he did. no possibility of this happening occurred to me i thought i was just sharing a laugh with a friend who wouldn’t be a douche_

_I’m not saying I’m not at fault because I am, and I am so, so, incredibly sorry. That’s an explanation and not an excuse_

**It’s not your fault its entirely mine.**

**_It’s both of your fucking faults, but I guess that can’t be helped now._ **

**He didn’t know who I was when he told me!!!**

**Chris would never do something like this, he’s too nice.**

_vitya it’s ok. let me take my share of the blame_

**NO IM THE ASSHOLE HERE. IT’S NOBODYS FAULT BUT MINE OK? I’M A PATHETIC JERK AND DESERVED TO BE BLAMED FOR THIS**

_Vitya you aren’t pathetic, or an asshole, or whatever. you made a mistake and you owned up to it, and now you’re going to fix it. you’re a good person_

_you just… should really learn that you/your actions don’t exist in a void_

**But Chris youre a good person too! And not an asshole or pathetic either!**

_I know. i’m just like you, I made a mistake and now I’m owning up 2 it._

**_Table this discussion. What matters is Yuri Plisetsky, not whose fault it is._ **

**_First order of business: Viktor, you said you’d do anything to help_ **

**Yes absolutely**

**_Then tell your fucking degenerate fan horde to leave Yuri alone._ **

Degenerate? No, Viktor’s fans weren’t degenerates; he loved them as a whole, even if there were a few bad apples! He almost moved to defend them—but remembered now was neither the time nor the place. As Otabek had said: What mattered was Yuri. (Who was apparently Russian too, judging by his last name. For some reason that made Viktor feel worse.)

**Ok I will**

**_Tell I-AM-YOUR-KING on Wattpad directly. That’s the one that told Yuri to kill himself. He needs to be shown that’s not okay._ **

**_If you don’t have a Wattpad, make one._ **

**_Make the fucker feel ashamed of himself._ **

_yeah do that. make a wattpad since i know u don’t have one_

_i want that guy to suffer_

Viktor caught Chris’ drift. No way I-AM-YOUR-KING would believe it was him if he saw the stuff he wrote.

**I’ll do it as soon as I can**

**_Do it NOW._ **

**_Wait, good news!_ **

**_Yuri texted me back, he’s says he’s ok! I’m adding him to the chat._ **

Viktor wondered vaguely if Yuri texted the same way he wrote. The answer, he would soon find, was yes.

**_wtf is this? >:(_ **

_hey yuri! :) so we know how people are bein diccs to u about w2tm and we just wanted to make sure ur ok!_

_bc those ppl are just assholes who have no lives and you shouldn’t listen to them bc ur better!_

**_THEY CAN ALL GO FUCK THEM SELVES I DON’T CARE!!!!!!_ **

**_ESPECIALLY I AM YOUR KING HE IS JUST A JERK WITHOUT A LIFE_ **

**_In other words, a degenerate?_ **

**_YA HE SUCKS I HOPE HE DIES_ **

**_How would you like it if I told you we’re going to get back at him?_ **

**_FUCK YEAHK ILL HIM PLS BEKA!!!!!!!_ **

**_Sadly, we can’t kill his body, but we CAN crush his soul under the weight of his own failure!_ **

**_> :3_ **

**_> :3_ **

_ok that might be a little much_

**_He deserves it._ **

_um… i cant really say i endorse.. crushing people under the weight of their own failure… and technically its up to vitya whether that happens or not but_

_speaking of vitya. yuri, there’s someone here who wants to apologize to you._

**Hi Yuri. I’m the cause of all the rude people reading your story and I am so so sorry for what happened. If there’s anything at all I can do to make it up to you please tell me**

**_yeah there is..,._ **

**_GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!! >:3_ **

**_beka virtual high five me pls_ **

**_*I virtually high five Yura!*_ **

**_*virtual high fives u back*_ **

**Seriously is there because I’d be happy to do anything at all**

**_Just go deal with your fans._ **

**_King in particular. Send screenshots._ **

Well. Wow.

Viktor thought he’d better get to it, else Otabek would materialize in his room at night and kill him. Afraid but determined, he pulled up Wattpad’s mobile site and hit Sign Up. _  
_

Several minutes later, the official Viktor Nikiforov Wattpad account was born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> otabek is probably a superwholock or something who am i kidding
> 
> thanks as always for comments/kudos etc.
> 
> EDIT: changed amt. of reads/votes on w2tm to better reflect the size of the ice prince alliance
> 
> EDIT 3/1/17: yeah i have no idea why i made jj such a douche. i don't even dislike him really-- i was going for a snarky elitist/desensitized internet memelord feel but i went way 2 far, and at some point i'm gonna correct that mistake (give him a redemption arc probably) bc i feel really shitty about it and i don't know why i wrote him that way


	8. Katsudon with Katsudon~!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE shoutout to Mr_Boorf (aka wattpad user Hetalia_satan/B00RF on deviantart) for a. making the #screenies with me and b. this a m a z i n g fanart of w2tm yurio: http://b00rf.deviantart.com/art/Fanart-for-welcome-to-the-madness-on-wattpad-659529368
> 
> warning for brief suicide mentions in this chap!
> 
> (also, I fixed the images)

**I did it. Here’s what I got out of him**

****

****

**_Bullshit. I want an actual fucking apology. I want to know he’s stewing in regret over his mistakes, that they’re tearing him up inside._  **

** **

**He muted me**

**_…coward._ **

* * *

  **ip-alliance-hub**

**WEEKLY UPDATE: THE OFFICIAL VIKTOR NIKIFOROV WATTPAD**

**Well, this has been an interesting week for us Ice Prince fans.**

Excitement is certainly in the air. The fandom is back in full swing this season: We’ve all seen the in-depth analysis of Viktor’ performance in France (like[ this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) from my friend @montresaur on the LGBT themes present, which I highly recommend reading.) There’s art, gifs, and imagines coming out at the speed of sound. The Cup of Mordovia kicks off on September 14th, only a few days away. And as I have to say every year, yes, our livestream is still happening, and yes, we will be providing plenty of links. Normally this time of year that’s the only issue us Vitya fans are worrying about: streams and links, fanworks and vids, and whatever images he’s put out on Instagram. And we are, certainly. To an outsider it might seem like business as usual.

But obviously, I don’t need to be telling you that it’s not.

To think: Only a few weeks ago we were all freaking out about Vitya’s newly-painted fingernails. His _nails._ We thought #nikinails (and #Poodlegate, obviously) would be the issues that defined this season. And holy ice skates, Batman, were we wrong. Since about 6 AM US time on the day before St-Gervais I have not seen a single new #nikinails post on any platform, and it looks like even the Poodlegaters have managed to keep quiet for the time being. It feels as though we’re in the new Year 0 of the Alliance, in the very first days after what looks like a momentous shift in the way we as a fandom interact with our prince.

I was as shocked as you when Vitya responded to Phichit Chulanont’s mass request for amusingly bad fanfiction. I remember where I was when I saw the tweet: eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch on my back porch, petting my German Shepherd as I watched mist roll off the lake and into the pine forest around my house. I remember the smell of early-morning dew, the pale orange fingers of the sunrise, the taste of the cinnamon-infused milk in my spoon. I remember how I dropped my phone into the bowl. We’re all familiar now with the contents of that tweet and[ the story that was linked](https://www.wattpad.com/350696930-welcome-to-the-madness-black-thorns) —a Wattpad-hosted self-insert fantasy about some edgy weeaboo named Yuri on a deranged space quest. It’s called “welcome to the madness” and is now known in popular fandom slang as w2tm. Most of us have read the thing all the way through, and, yeah Viktor was right. It’s funny as _hell_.

The Alliance has made its mark. What was once an unremarkable, barely-viewed work now has thousands upon thousands of reads, votes, and comments, and in the comments lies the issue. Many of the commenters recognize the value of telling a white lie, and that there’s no point in being rude to a probable child who just wants to share their work, poorly-written as it may be, with some friends on the Internet. But some have decided that they have some deep-set need to harshly criticize xX_YuriKat_Xx, the author. The negative comments range in severity, from overly-harsh constructive criticism to one memorable commenter—not naming any names—telling poor Yuri to kill himself. Several concerned readers told Vitya to do something about the influx of negativity, and do something he has.

From this controversy was borne one of the biggest-ever developments in Alliance history: Viktor now has a Wattpad account. It is called, verbatim, “The Official Viktor Nikiforov Wattpad”, and as of this week it’s proven to be both a goldmine of new content and one of the greatest indicators of Vitya’s character. If you haven’t been following it closely—which I highly suggest you do—here’s a list of some things he’s done so far:

  *         Apologized for tweeting w2tm, saying he “was extremely insensitive” and “will think more carefully about [his] actions on social media in the future and the effects they have on others.” (This is one of 2 apologies, the other one a video posted to Twitter.)
  *         Told everyone to stop being dicks to Yuri Kat, and per some sources, _individually messaged_ peoplewho said particularly awful things (e.g. the kys guy) and told them that he was disappointed in them and to stop being dicks to Yuri Kat
  *         Read/voted on somewhere in the realm of 5 separate fics about himself, and left about 20 (positive) comments
  *         Voted on all 3 existing chapters of[ a Katsuki Yuuri/Reader high school AU fic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) for some reason (Accidentally? On purpose? Who knows?)



Of course, skating fans (being skating fans) have read pretty far into that last thing, which brings us to another notable development of the week: the birth of a fledging ship. Tentatively dubbed Viktuuri, it’s spawned several notable works, including some decent art, a smattering of headcanons, and at least one fic where Katsuki himself is the infamous xX_YuriKat_Xx. From what I’ve seen so far it looks like something I could get on board with, a ship with at least a little evidence behind it that could help to end the inexplicable rift between Yuuri’s fans and us. (Guys—that Yuuri=Yuri Kat fic is _good_ , ok?)

All in all: A crazy yet kind of awesome week for the Alliance. Viktor has a Wattpad. Viktor likes our fics.[ Viktor added that flower face emoticon to his Twitter username.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) It looks like his days of isolation are over, like the dawn of a new era. It’s impossible to tell what’s beyond the horizon for our Prince, but whatever happens, the Hub is here to keep you updated. Stay frosty!

* * *

 Yuuri crossed his left leg over his right as the car pulled carefully out of the parking lot of his apartment. He didn’t recognize the driver next to him—it was an Uber, since Detroit’s public transit was _shit_ and Phichit was stuck in a lecture. He was heading out to the rink to de-stress a bit if he could. Normally he wouldn’t have had the time, but his only other class today had been cancelled, as the professor had been arrested for credit card fraud.

He didn’t know what was going to happen once he got to the rink. The last thing Yuuri wanted to think about now was Skate America, which was coming up next month, but what was there to do if he didn’t work on his routines? Skate around in “normie circles”, as Phichit called them? Just watch the other skaters? It was 1:00 on a Monday, so there would probably only be young children with their families. He realized that a lone guy sitting and staring at a bunch of little kids would probably be asked to leave.

Fifteen minutes was all the time it took to reach his destination. Yuuri paid the Uber driver and slung his bag over his shoulder as he walked up the concrete steps to the rink. A thin layer of frost on the stone crunched under his boots.

The air was warmer inside. He unwound his scarf and let it dangle near the floor as he walked over to the metal benches to slip into his skates. The lobby area outside the rink itself always smelled like either feet or ice, and today it was the latter; a small bit of luck, Yuuri thought. He bent down to unzip his bag, pushing each of his shoes off with the opposite foot onto the floor.

As Yuuri sat up again, skates in hand, he noticed two girls around his age paused just in front of the glass doors to the lobby. They were plainly staring at him. One nudged the other and whispered something in her ear, and she blushed. Yuuri saw the death glare the desk worker was giving the girls—they were frozen directly in front of the entrance. Eventually the girl on the left (shorter, black hair) apparently realized she and her friend (taller, red hair) were blocking the doorway, and urged her along.

They sat two benches away from Yuuri, a calculated move, although he wouldn’t have minded if either had sat down right next to him. He liked meeting fans—they were usually as nervous talking to him as he was talking to everyone else, and it was kind of refreshing. Yuuri looked over at the pair and caught the redhead’s eye. He smiled and said hello, and her face burst with pink.

The black-haired girl leaned back to see Yuuri around her friend. He waved at her, and she waved back, clearly a little less embarrassed than the other. “Hey,” she chirped, excitement lacing her voice, “my friend Sam and I are _huge_ fans of yours, and she won’t say it obviously but she’d love it if we could get a selfie with you! If you have the time, I mean. We wouldn’t want to bother you!”

“No, I don’t have anywhere to be. Or anything to do, really. I’m honestly only here to kill time,” he replied, and Sam-and-friend grinned wildly.

Yuuri slotted the blades of his skates into the guards and walked over to the pair as black-hair pulled out her phone. He sat down between the girls and stared into the camera for the picture, after which Sam left, claiming she needed to use the bathroom in a strangled-sounding sort of squeak.

“She’s just freaking out,” said black-hair.

Yuuri smiled. “It’s fine.” _That’s how I react sometimes too,_ he thought, but didn’t say. “Hey, I didn’t get your name—”

“I’m Helen. It’s _really_ nice to meet you. You’re one of my biggest inspirations as a skater.” The way she emphasized the _really_ made Yuuri uncomfortable somehow.

“Thanks! It’s nice meeting you too. I love you guys—fans, I mean. Not, uh, not you specifically; we just met.” Yuuri berated himself internally. Couldn’t he talk to _one_ person without saying something cringeworthy? You’d think he’d be better at this by now.

“Nah, I get it. You’ll have to buy me dinner first,” Helen giggled, tossing her hair just slightly. _Shit—_ was she flirting? Yuuri had a limited ability to function in conversations as it was. He had no idea how to handle having to subtly reject someone he wasn’t interested in on top of that. Sure, fans (both male and female) had flirted with him before, but it had always happened in a crowd setting where he wasn’t obligated to continue the conversation indefinitely. Here, there was no one around but the desk worker. “What brings you here, if you don’t mind me asking? Sam and I are usually around every day right now, and this is the first time we’ve seen you.”

Hadn’t he already answered this question? “Uh—I usually have Economics in a little bit, but our teacher got arrested yesterday for identity theft, and I had some time to kill, so. Yeah.”

Helen giggled again. Yuuri couldn’t tell if her response was appropriate to the situation or exaggerated on purpose—and there was that hair toss again. “Oh, man, of all the reasons to cancel class!”

“Yeah,” Yuuri laughed awkwardly. “It was pretty unexpected.”

Helen looked away for a moment, at something Yuuri couldn’t see beyond the glass windows into the rink. There were only a few people in there, mostly toddlers gliding along shakily with the aid of their parents.

“Hey—you live around here, right?”

Oh _come on._ Helen was obviously a fan of his; she knew damn well he lived in the area. Yuuri was _very_ worried now about where this conversation was going, and he shifted uneasily in his skates. “Yup,” he said, popping the _p_. Was he blushing? He had better not be fucking blushing.

“So do I, if you want to, say, meet up sometime.” Helen leaned in close, her face mere inches from his. There was no room for Jesus in this arrangement. “I’m free tonight for—y’know—coffee, if you want.”

American vernacular 101, “coffee” at night was always sex—shit—he didn’t want to sleep with a fan but he didn’t want to upset one either but he didn’t want to sleep with a fan but he didn’t want to upset anyone ever he didn’t want to see the look on her face he wished he was anywhere else what should he do what could he do what would happen if—

“Uh, I. Appreciate your offer, but I’m—seeing someone. It’s nothing personal.” Yuuri waved his hands in front of his chest, both to show that he meant no offense and to put up a divide between himself and Helen. A (strained) smile punctuated his point, and Helen nodded.

“Oh well; it was worth a try! See you around, I guess!” she piped, and walked off looking invigorated.

Well, that was a fuckup. Yuuri was frozen to his spot, and no matter how hard he tried to so much as shift the angle of his feet he just couldn’t get himself to move.

“Seeing someone?” He hadn’t even been on a date in three years! What if Helen put that snippet of their conversation on social media or she told Sam or someone else about it and _they_ posted it somewhere and the rumor got out that he had a secret girlfriend or everyone thought he had a thing with Phichit again— He could have said literally anything else but what he said; why was he like this? Why did every word that came out of his mouth have to ruin his life?

Yuuri forced himself to move one skate in front of the other, slowly, gradually, until he reached the rink. He would put his mind off it, or try to, at least. Not that that would work.

* * *

  _bOI WHO U DATIN??? :0000_

Yuuri read the message and bit his lip, color washing from his face. It had only been _an hour_ —he was still at the rink—but his worries had been realized. He curled himself tighter into the little ball in which he sat, wedged into a corner behind the rental skate return. (Yuuri had been like this for a good 45 minutes, after he realized he couldn’t make himself keep moving. He kept freezing up in the middle of the rink, thinking about his earlier mistake, and interrupting the flow of normie circles.)

**where did you hear that I was?**

_the World Wide Web_

_someone asked me on twitter if i knew abt ur ~secret paramour~ and of course i had no diddly heckin idea so i said no lmao_

Shit, no, this was awful—this would ruin his public image and his career and everything he’d worked so hard for (no it wouldn’t, dumbass, stop this) (yes it would yes it would) and Yuuri halfway wanted to _scream_ —

**tildes? love on ice guy is washing off on you. lol**

_u ok?_

_yuuri?_

He wasn’t.

Crying silently on the floor in the lobby of an ice arena wouldn’t look good, but Yuuri was about to do it anyway if he didn’t stop himself somehow. Hot pressure was building up behind his face, pooling at his eyes, his trembling lips. His phone shook in his hands until he dropped it on the vinyl floor next to him, softly. Not making a scene. The desk worker didn’t even look up.

The bathrooms were off a nearby hallway. Normally he could’ve made it there in less than a minute, but not in this state. There was no way he could take even a step without locking up in unwanted thought, and how pitiful was that? Meet Katsuki Yuuri, the man who couldn’t even walk 10 yards without having a crying fit. Pathetic.

His phone buzzed. He picked it up.

_where r u i’m comin 4 u_

**please don’t. I’m fine.**

_@ rink?_

_if u don’t answer ill report u missin again_

**at this rate if I ever am kidnapped police won’t believe you. lol**

_ok im comin 2 the rink. sit tite_

Yuuri let his head fall against the wall and stared into the neon light strips high above him, as though the heat could evaporate the tears welling in the corners of his eyes. He hated when this happened, when he forced Phichit to come to his rescue because he couldn’t deal with his problems like an adult. It would be so easy to just call a cab and be done with it, to make the short walk out the lobby doors and go home, but considering Yuuri wasn’t even capable of _walking to the damn bathroom_ he knew not to expect that much from himself. He would just have to wait like a useless damsel in distress for his friend to arrive, as always. Sometimes he wondered how and why Phichit put up with all his bullshit.

_did u take ur meds 2day?_

**not sure. don’t text and drive.**

_at a light. can u get 2 the front steps?_

Phichit would come in and walk him out the door if he said no, which was probably the truth, but Yuuri hated that more than anything. It was a reminder that he was a failure, a lopsided human being with a defective brain. Weak. Maybe this time he could do it himself. He doubted it, but—

**I’ll try.**

Yuuri stood up, bracing himself against the wall with his back. A deep breath in, a deep breath out. A dam behind his eyes. He took a step, slow and methodic. Another. Another. A steady rhythm built up, until he was going at least the speed of one of those slowed-down videos of astronauts walking out of a spaceship. You know the ones.

The desk worker was looking down at his phone. Nobody paid any attention to him as he pushed open the first set of exit doors, and then the second. He was out. Wind pulled at his hair, and it was barely snowing, though it didn’t feel that cold. Yuuri let himself freeze still again, thinking of what he’d done, and what would happen now.

Phichit’s car pulled up after only 5 minutes. (Yuuri suspected he had gone well over the speed limit a few times, because that was _fast._ ) The man himself clambered out of the front seat and jogged over, looking concerned. As soon as Phichit was within hugging distance, Yuuri’s arms shot out and wrapped around his chest.

They stayed like that for a minute, Phichit letting Yuuri cry softly into his jacket, rubbing his back in comfort. There were questions—what was going on? Yuuri would talk about it later. His stuff? Inside. Was he hurt? No, of course not.

Yuuri let Phichit go to get his stuff for him, fishing out the key for the locker from his pocket and dropping it into his friend’s hand. He opened the passenger door and slid quietly into the seat, watching snow fall onto the window and melt.

Phichit returned with his bag and drove Yuuri home, no more questions asked.

* * *

 A list of things Viktor could be worrying about right now:

  *     Mordovia, only a week away (his short program he was proud of, but his free skate could still use polishing)
  *     The fact that he’d just accidentally voted on Yuuri fic with his official account
  *     Adding songs to the soon-to-be-released Official Viktor Nikiforov Spotify Playlist, an idea he’d thought of in the shower yesterday and acted on immediately
  *     The state of his life, of his country, and the world



What he was worrying about:

  *     Yuuri was _seeing someone? Holy SHIT who was it Yuuri had never had any confirmed partners who was it was it a boy or a girl was it serious (did he still have a chance) was it love?_



Over the past few days Viktor had been much more active on the Internet, browsing through his fans’ work. Their fanart, fanfic (some of which was honestly riveting), weird skating memes. It thrilled him, honestly, the warm, buzzing feeling of being loved unconditionally and praised by thousands upon thousands of people. Was this how Yuuri felt? If so, then, wow. No wonder he was so excellent, knowing this many people wanted him to succeed.

He’d messed up with the whole Yuuri/reader high school AU thing, but in his defense, that fic was damn good. Viktor thought he could just let the whole thing blow over, as he hadn’t seen anyone freaking out about it. It was just a couple of votes, and he’d clearly been reading tons of stuff about himself. One could easily see it as him trying to appreciate the work of the skating fandom as a whole. Besides, there was no way he could un-vote or something. There was no use getting his panties, figurative or literal, in a twist over it. Things would turn out just fine.

On the playlist—it had seemed only fit to make one, considering most fans’ apparent headcanons concerning his taste in music had something to do with either Shostakovich or Crystal Castles, and he had no idea who the latter even was. Might as well set them straight. (For reference: his favorite artist was, solidly, Marina and the Diamonds.)

Anyways. He’d been about to announce the playlist on social media when he saw Phichit’s response to a tweet asking who Yuuri’s “secret lover” was, saying he had, verbatim, no diddly heckin idea. That was enough to make Viktor forget about the playlist entirely, and he’d descended with fervor into Yuuri’s Twitter tag for about an hour. And then his Instagram feed. And then his Tumblr tag, where Viktor remained to this moment.

He was scrolling furiously, reading lines of cited sources, debates, pleas to leave Yuuri alone, pleas for Yuuri to address the rumor, please for everyone to shut the fuck up (and, of course, hopeful posts from the Phituuri crowd.) Nothing seemed concrete at this stage, and Yuuri himself hadn’t said anything at all on social media since the rumor came out. Maybe he wasn’t dating anyone at all, and it was just some big misunderstanding. Nobody was even able to pinpoint the rumor’s exact source, only that it was what “everyone was saying” and that it had leaked sometime within the last few hours.

_YUURIS DATING SOMEONE_

So Chris had heard too! Viktor grabbed his phone, eager to discuss the situation with another person.

**I KNOW WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS**

_idk but there are legit ppl who thincc its u_

**HOLYDHIT WHAT**

_yeah it’s a ship thing. viktuuri. happened after u voted on those xReader fics lol_

**Wow I’m flattered~**

**Wish that was true. I’d date Yuuri in a heartbeat whoever it is is the luckiest person alive**

_…can i ascc u smth_

**Ask away**

_do you just have a massive crush on yuuri or do you actually like. love him._

There was a question Viktor had asked himself many times. It wasn’t a normal crush, that was for sure. He’d discovered Yuuri, and his fandom, during one of the darkest parts of his life to date. Writing and reading fic had pulled him through—might’ve saved his life, even. Given him another reason to get out of bed every morning. He remembered how it was back then, wrapping his arms tight around himself every night and pretending Yuuri was holding him, telling him it was all okay, rocking him to sleep.  Looking in the mirror every morning and saying to himself: _Today I will be the person Yuuri would want me to be._

Was that love? Or was it just, as Chris had said, a massive crush? Viktor still didn’t know, and he thought he might never. His reply:

**I care more about Yuuri than I care about anyone else in the world**

_if you don’t mind, why?_

He had never told anyone about his depression, other than Yakov. He had never wanted to talk about it much before, until now. Viktor didn’t know why this felt like a good time, but he was going to act on that feeling.

**2 years ago I was suicidal**

**I used to imagine him telling me it gets better and that he loved me so much and I had to stay alive for him**

**Actually I don’t think that’s an answer to the question you asked but it’s something I felt like saying**

That felt… good. Like some knot inside of him coming undone, letting the rope fall slack.

_oh man… i’m so sorry bud, i had no idea_

_if u ever go through anything like that again i’m here for you 100% <3 <3 <3 _

**I remember when you thought I didn’t know who I was you told me about the interview thing, and that’s why. Yakov thought/thinks the less people knew about and paid attention to my life the less stress I would feel and it would be easier.**

_that makes sense_

**I might stop that, I mean being on social media and stuff feels really nice and I think I’m better now but I’m not sure.**

**It feels like I’m on a tightrope and I’m about to fall off sometimes and if I fall off I’ll be depressed again.**

**I’m not sure if I’m ever going to be actually happy and not feel like that.**

He was just gushing suddenly, wasn’t he? But saying all these things he’d never put words to—it was like relief he hadn’t known he needed. It was almost as if everything he’d gone through felt more solid, valid, now that somebody else knew.

_you’re gonna be ok vitya <3 _

**Yeah**

**Can we talk about Yuuri again now**

_of course!_

_u think it’s phichit?_

**No I never thought Phituuri was a thing lol. They’re just friends**

_lmao same here_

_hey u workin on chapter 6?_

**I’m not sure that’s a good idea anymore, I think Phichit and maybe Yuuri are following it**

_well a. i want 2 read more, like, so bad, and b. if u stop now won’t it look a lil suspiscious?_

**Good point**

_you do *want* to keep writing it right?_

_haha write/right get it? XD_

**Yeah~ I guess I’ll just have to make it extra good for Yuuri!**

**Knowing how much I like reading the things my fans write Yuuri probably feels the same~**

_there’s the spirit! :D_

* * *

  **Love!!! on Ice by katsudon-vitya**

**Chapter 6: Katsudon with Katsudon~!**

Yuuri and I are in the car heading to the Japanese restaurant. I’m wearing a long black shirt that goes down to my mid-thigh, gray skinny jeans and a gray knit beanie, and a long dark green coat with brass buttons. I also have on some black fingerless gloves, one gold earring in my left ear and some lipgloss. I put on my black-and-gold boots also. My hair is loose down my back except for a small braid running down the left side. I love this outfit~ I feel so pretty and handsome right now (✿◠‿◠), I wonder if Yuuri thinks I look good? Probably not, but he might.

Yuuri looks sexy as hell in a thin purple sweater that you can almost see the outline of his muscles through and some dark gray jeans. He has on a Rolex watch which is very fancy and he’s steering the car with only one hand on the wheel as he leans back in his seat. It’s probably the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I start to think about what it would be like to take that sweater off of him and I start blushing. Actually I should probably stop thinking about that because it’s kind of awkward since he’s legit a foot away from me.

We get to the restaurant and get out of the car. “Is Phichit or anyone else here?” I ask Yuuri.

“No” he says and smiles. I love looking at that smile so much~!

We go inside the doors to the restaurant and Yuuri tells the concierge he has reservations for us. A waitress leads us to our table, which has a bunch of tiny candles around it for light. This is way more romantic than I thought it would be, OMG~! It’s kind of dark except for all the candles. Everyone is talking quietly and there’s more flickering candles and ancient-looking Japanese artwork all around us, and violin music in the background. “Do you like it?” asks Yuuri and I nod my head yes. He looks very happy to be taking me here and his eyes sparkle in the candlelight.

The waitress comes and gives us menus, and asks us what we want to drink. Yuuri and I both order water but I get mine with lemon in it. We look over the menus even though we both already know what we’re going to get, katsudon of course! (^▽^) When the waitress comes back with our drinks Yuuri orders for both of us in Japanese. It sounds so pretty! I love hearing him speak it—but honestly I love everything he does ever so that’s not surprising.

While we wait for our food Yuuri and I talk, and I tell him a little about life in Russia. He looks very interested in everything I have to say, and I wonder if this is how it would be if I were dating him. If we would go on dates together to this restaurant and talk about things and he would always listen to me so nicely and look so much like he wanted to be there. I wonder if I ever will get to date Yuuri. It probably won’t last but I realize that’s all I want, for him to say he thinks I’m cute or he loves me once, that will be good enough.

Oh my god I think I’m really in love. It seems so natural, but I’ve never been actually in love with a person before. I like it, though.

Soon our katsudon comes. They’re both in big bowls and they look very hot and delicious. The waitress brings us chopsticks also—but I don’t know how to use them! I would ask Yuuri but I’m so embarrassed that I agreed to go to a Japanese restaurant without even looking up how to use the chopsticks. I watch how Yuuri does it, and it looks so easy when he uses them. I try to position my fingers on the chopsticks the way he does but I can’t seem to get it right.

“Hey” asks Yuuri “do you need some help with those?”

I blush and say “No Yuuri I think I’ve got it!”

“Have you ever used chopsticks before?”

“Uh, no, but it’s pretty easy!”

Yuuri laughs a little, but not in a rude way. “Oh, _Vitya._ You’re ad—“ He stops himself, was he about to call me _adorable?_ Is this dinner even real or am I dead or something? “Here, I’m going to help you.” He gets out of his seat and comes over to my side of the table, and takes the chopsticks. Then he picks up my hand and moves my fingers into the correct position on the chopsticks. It feels a little weird, but I’ll probably get used to it by the time dinner is over.

Yuuri’s hand stays touching mine for a little longer than it maybe should, and then he goes back to his chair and sits. It’s kinda dark so I can’t tell, but I think he might be blushing. “Ok now that you’re holding them right, you just move them to whatever you want to pick up and pinch them together around it.” He demonstrates picking up a piece of pork.

I move the chopsticks down and grab some pork too. It’s pretty easy to do actually. I lift the pork up slowly to my mouth and put it on my tongue. Then I bite into it…

…IT’S SO DELICIOUS! (~￣▽￣)~  I can’t believe I’ve survived my entire life without eating this, the pork is so rich and juicy and warm and I want to eat the entire bowl as fast as I can.

“This is the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten~!” I tell Yuuri and he beams at me.

“Yeah I know! My mom used to make this for me a lot when I was little, so I was chubby as a child. I couldn’t get enough of it!”

Of course I already knew that about Yuuri, since I’ve seen every interview with him and follow him on all social media that he has, but I smile and nod anyway because saying that I knew might weird Yuuri out. “I wouldn’t be as thin if I could eat this every day too! If your mom makes it this good she must be the greatest cook in Japan.”

“Oh, hers is better, and I’ll tell her you said that~! So how are you liking school?”

I read somewhere on the Internet once that when somebody asks questions about your life that means they like you. I already knew Yuuri didn’t hate me, but this is nice confirmation. “I like it a lot! I’ve already made a friend, his name is Chris. It’s much better than school in Russia!”

“Why, what was bad about school in Russia?”

“There were a bunch of people there who were rude to me. They called me rude slurs for gay people sometimes and insulted figure skating. Actually I punched one of them in the face once.” It feels weird telling that to Yuuri. I don’t know why I said it, but I’m kind of glad I did. I think talking about your problems with a friend helps you work through them.

Yuuri laughs and says “Wow, that person deserved it! Especially since being gay isn’t an insult. What an asshole.”

“I know! I broke his nose, actually” I say slyly. “He went to the hospital.”

“Niiiice!”

“Thanks!”

Both Yuuri and I stop to take more bites of katsudon. Every part of the dish is so delicious and it looks like Yuuri is enjoying it a lot too. The look on his face as he eats is pretty sexual actually, and I’m getting distracted from my bowl watching him.

He looks up and sees me staring at him eat and I blush again, really hard. “Do I have something on my face?” he asks confusedly.

“Oh, it’s nothing, it’s just—this is a surreal experience. I never thought I would have dinner with you, especially one this roman—“ Thankfully I manage to stop before I finish that word. God dammit.

Yuuri is blushing now almost as hard as I am. “Romantic?”

“Uh, that was just a—joke!”

“Oh” says Yuuri quietly. “Okay.”

We eat the rest of our food without talking. I hope I haven’t made Yuuri feel bad or creeped him out. At least the katsudon is still good. Yuuri pays the bill when it comes and leaves a good tip, and then we head out the door into the parking lot.

There’s a fountain in the parking lot with a bunch of multicolored lights around it. Yuuri walks up to it and stops to look at the water spewing out in the center. I walk up next to him and he turns to me. Suddenly I realize that I’m a lot closer to him than I thought I was. His face is only about 10 inches from mine.

“Can I ask you something, Vitaly?”

“Um, yeah, go ahead.” My heart is pounding and my palms are sweaty, and my knees are a little weak.  

“Do you like me?”

“O-of course, Yuuri! You’re my favorite skater and a huge inspiration to me, and you’re so nice!”

“That’s not what I mean” he says softly, and suddenly he’s leaning closer to me. Our faces keep getting closer until his nose is brushing against mine and I can feel his breath on my lips and see the pores of his skin. Am I—are we—

But then Yuuri moves away and shakes his head, and goes to his car. I follow him, wondering if he really would’ve kissed me, and how it would’ve felt.

**170 reads, 32 votes**

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

oh man, this chapter was E X C E L L E N T! the suspense is killin me jfc vitya… let htem KISS

 

**yuuri-is-love-yuuri-is-life**

hhhhoLYSHIT this is getting so steamy, mmmmmmmmm, update!!!

 

**katsukiminami**

I CANT BELIVE THEY ALMOST KISSED BUT THEN THEY DIDN’T KISS!! VITALY SHOUDLVE JUST KISSED THE HELL OUT OF HIM AND THEN DRAGGED HIM INTO THE CAR AND RIDDEN HIM LIKE A GOD DAMN RACEHORSE IN THE BACKSEAT :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     **e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

oh… my god…

 

**number1Phituuri-trash**

no poor yuuri! poor vitaly! ahh just let them realize their feelings for each otherrrrrrrr

 

**PHICHITPHICHITPHICHITPHICHIT**

i bet his face…. was as red….. as the communist manifestoada,f,,,asd,,,,,

 

**dorbees-official**

lmao I guess all the ice prince people have calmed the fuck down. good chap!

 

**COLORxDEVOIDx**

Is this like shadow Viktuuri because I love the hell out of it but considering it’s clearly Viktro I’m confused??

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so we begin... a New Story Arc (tm)
> 
> also the official viktor playlist is a real thing on spotify that i made, if anyone wants the link to that


	9. Saturday ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i know i said phichit was 17 in a comment reply but i'm retconning that. he's 18 now. this doesn't change anything in the story but i'm doing it anyway
> 
> for those wondering: the actual viktuuri in this is going to be sort of slow-burn, but it's definitely happening
> 
> also this has nothing to do w this chap but i'm... still sorry for making jj such an asshole i feel bad lmao

“’One theory,’” read Yuuri with concern, “’is that it’s another man. In that case the secrecy makes absolute sense, especially given Yuuri’s sometimes-aggressive deflection of questions about his sexuality in the past.”

“The rumor come out: Does Katsuki Yuuri is gay?”

Yuuri took in how hard Phichit was trying not to laugh, how much he looked like he’d gotten away with something. “How long have you been waiting to say that?” he asked.

“Since birth.”

“That’s a long wait—“ his eyes grew wide—“oh my God—so if you read on it says there’s ‘still speculation’ that it’s you, which kind of makes sense, but I shit you not, people also think it’s—“

Phichit grinned and held up his hands to stop Yuuri. “No, let me guess. Leo.”

“No.”

“Guang-Hong? No—Seung-Gil? Michele?”

“Colder.”

“Fucking _Emil?_ ” he asked with a note of desperation. “Wait, Takeshi! You never said it was a skater.”

“He’s a skater.”

“Dammit! We aren’t friends with any of the other guys, except—oh no. It’s not—“

Yuuri had the sort of look on his face that one gets when laughing at overly dark jokes, both shocked and incredibly amused. “…silver hair… blue eyes… may or may not write self-insert fanfiction about me on Wattpad…”

“You’re _kidding!_ ” Phichit’s facial expression slowly morphed into the same edgy-joke-reaction expression as Yuuri’s. “ _Why?_ What—just _why?_ ”

“I have no idea,” Yuuri laughed breathily. “It says here he made an official Wattpad and… voted on a fic about me, which is kind of weird… and there’s an official ship name for us. Viktuuri.”

Phichit was obviously struggling to keep himself together. “I-I ship it! OTP!” he managed, lips shaking and face red with the effort of not breaking out in howls of laughter. (It didn’t take much to get Phichit to completely lose it. Sometimes just randomly thinking of a meme could send him over the edge.)

“Are you gonna write fic?”

“Yes—yes, I’m actually gonna write fucking Viktuuri fanfiction, I’m gonna send it to everyone, _fuck—“_

“How?”

“I’ll just put it on Google Docs or something and give everyone the link. God, this is gonna be _great!_ ”

Yuuri had known Phichit long enough to know two things. One: If he said he was going to write a bad fanfiction, whether it was about other skaters or emo pop-punk band members, he was going to write the _hell_ out of that damn fanfiction. Two: Years of reading every awful piece of writing he could find when he was bored had given him an almost godlike ability to perfectly replicate any and all shitty writing styles, to hilarious results. Yuuri couldn’t help but look forward to the final product of his friend’s efforts. He noticed that Phichit was already getting out his laptop.

There was probably Viktuuri fanfiction out there already, thinking about it. Some of it was probably decent too, even the stuff on Wattpad. Yuuri wondered if Viktor had read any of it, considering the whole official Wattpad thing. He wondered if he even _knew._

The rumor had gotten around fast that Yuuri had a significant other, and most of the skating world was aware by this point, even though it was still the same day. Yuuri himself had managed to calm down about it once he and Phichit got back to their apartment—they’d worked out a plan, which made the whole thing sit much easier with him. He wouldn’t comment until a week later, when he’d announce that yes, he’d had a girlfriend, and that they’d just broken up. No harm done, to either Helen or his image, and people (read: sponsors) would still assume he was straight.

Hopefully.

Best not to think of that now, though. That wasn’t today’s concern, and worrying over it would do him no good. Yuuri angled himself to watch Phichit open up Microsoft Word and save a new document—“Fanboy”. With a title like that, he got the impression that Vitaly Nikulichev would be involved in this thing somehow, and that could be either a blessing or a curse.

“Are we going to send this to Viktor?” Yuuri asked.

“Oh, so now _you_ want to send it? Are you _sure_ you don’t have a secret boyfriend, Yuuri?”

“I just—he’s so impressive, and I’d prefer that we be friends instead of rivals later, and he finds these things funny, and—”

“No, I understand. That was a joke.”

“Oh.”

Phichit shot Yuuri a teasing glance. “Are you _blushing?_ ”

Yuuri considered the state of his face. Observation: it was hot. A scientific conclusion: Yes. He was blushing. Over _Viktor Nikiforov._

“You asked… an awkward question.”

“Can I ask another one?”

Yuuri heard the soft tapping of keys. The first line of Fanboy was complete— _My name is Viktor Nikiforov and I have a secret._

“Um, okay.”

“Do you actually think he’s attractive?”

“I think most people would agree that he is.”

Phichit raised his eyebrows and went back to typing his badfic. _I’m in love with Katsuki Yuuri,_ it read.

Yuuri pictured Viktor’s face. It was a nice one, easy on the eyes. Attractive, objectively. But to Yuuri— he was…

…hella cute, actually.

The more he thought about it, the more obvious it became. There was just something about him, something Yuuri realized he had noticed from the beginning. Something alluring. Not handsome, not seductive—he was only 15, after all—but intensely, _shockingly_ pretty, almost ethereal, like a teenage Legolas. Maybe that was part of what Yuuri had liked about his skating. That aesthetic shone out glaringly on the ice, and it was captivating. Yuuri could see why he had so many fans.

“You’re still blushing.”

“I mean—he’s cute, I guess.”

“And _there_ it is, ladies and gentlemen.” Phichit cracked his knuckles over the keyboard. It looked like the first paragraph was done.

“It’s not like we’re going to date or anything.”

“You _could_ , though. You’d both be in high school if you weren’t a little baby genius or whatever.”

That was true—Yuuri had skipped third grade for some reason. His memory of the situation was a little fuzzy—but it didn’t matter anyways. They were never going to date.

“Where is this conversation going? I’m confused.”

“Sorry,” said Phichit. His tongue poked out from his mouth in concentration, fingers flickering from key to key. “I was just wondering.”

Yuuri, for whatever reason, found himself wondering too.

* * *

  _Hello, Viktor!_

Viktor stared at the message. Stared at the glass covering his table. Stared at his half-full glass of water, moving it around, watching his reflection shift. Someone had told him once that reflective surfaces didn’t work in dreams.

He turned off his phone screen for a moment to be sure, and, yep, there he was. Thin nose, blue eyes, tucked-up hair and a vaguely terrified expression, perfectly formed and real-looking. So, yes, this was happening.

Yuuri had sent him. A message. On Twitter.

You’d think this would bring out a reaction in him, but no, nothing. Maybe all that had happened recently had desensitized him to the idea of this moment, maybe it was just the dull energy of today, or maybe Viktor’s brain couldn’t probably process the words on the screen in front of him. Maybe he was shorting out and shutting down.

His waitress came bearing a platter of simple crab sushi. “Enjoy your food,” she told him, setting it down.

“You too,” said Viktor. His eyes scanned loosely over random parts of the wall.

The waitress left.

The message wasn’t going to go away. It was still there in his notifications, waiting to strike him with the full impact of its existence. Some part of Viktor’s mind pictured a clock, ticking away the seconds until he inevitably had a conniption.

He picked up his chopsticks—which he could use much better than Vitaly, mind—and ate his sushi methodically, a bite a roll, drinking water in between pieces. His hands were steady and firm; he was defusing a bomb here. An agent on a mission. _Don’t freak out, Vitya. Vitya. Don’t._

The waitress came and went again for the bill when the sushi was finished. Viktor paid in cash with a 100-ruble tip and left, walking straight into the door until it opened with the force of his body.

Practice was over for the evening, but Yakov was still at the rink talking to the irate mother of a skater, and had told Viktor to walk back after getting some dinner. (The skater wasn’t one of his students, incidentally. Her mother tried to talk Yakov into accepting her as a pupil at least once a month, though she could barely land a Salchow. Viktor felt sorry for him.) The walk was 15 minutes, and would take him over the Malaya Neva. A scenic route, he supposed. The river looked alright in the sunset.

He reached the river, eyes tracing the crisscross of electrical wiring suspended across the bridge over. It was called the Tuchkov, and if Viktor remembered correctly at least two notable Russians (one real, one fictional) had jumped from it—wait, just one. The _Crime and Punishment_ guy shot himself. Maybe. Literature was never Viktor’s strong suit. Midway across, a car nearly clipped him with its mirror.

In around 5 more minutes he was through the rink’s doors. It was late, and there were few people here now save for Yakov and the woman, who were still at it. Viktor could hear their conversation clearly _—“Sir, you are missing out on the opportunity to coach a future Olympic medalist!” “I doubt that.” “Someday you’ll know what a mistake you’re making!” “I’m sure I will, if you’ll gladly find another coach.”_ —and it didn’t sound like it was going to let up anytime soon. He might as well find something to do.

Something to do.

Yuuri’s message.

There was a concession area off near the gear shop, and he sat down in one of the plastic chairs filling it. The concessions guy looked at him wearily, before returning his head to a resting position on the counter. Viktor opened his phone and read the message again.

_Hello, Viktor!_

Okay. Okay, it was happening now. It was sinking in. Yuuri had messaged him. Yuuri Katsuki, the world’s greatest and most attractive skater, wanted to have a conversation with him, and had typed up those words somewhere across the world and sent them to him with the express purpose of doing that.

With methodic determination, Viktor opened his mouth as wide as it would go and carefully inserted his fist. His teeth sunk into the meat around his thumb.

He screamed.

Well, it felt like a scream, at least. though in reality it was more of a silent, breathy screech from the high back of his throat. Warm air jet furiously into across his palm, and his face shook with the force of his it, and his lungs exploded against his ribs. It was energy let loose, blissful catharsis. The corners of his mouth turned up against his thumb.

It died down as Concessions Guy lifted his head up again to stare at him. Viktor pushed his hand out of his mouth with his tongue, rubbed his lips together, and smiled. His leg started to bounce uncontrollably under the table.

That wasn’t enough, because Yuuri had talked to him, _he was about to have a conversation with Yuuri,_ and he had to move, he had to—

He jumped from his chair and ran past Yakov and the woman, building speed as he shouldered open the glass door into the rink and flew down rows of bleachers and vaulted the gate and skidded wildly across the ice with just his rubber soles. Gravity yanked his hat from his head, and his silvery locks spilled and twisted around his shoulders as he leapt erratically into the world’s shittiest triple axel.

Viktor didn’t land it—he hadn’t even realized he was doing an axel until he was halfway through, but who cared? He fell on his leg and twisted onto his back, hair dragging along under him as he slid fast along the line of the light strips overhead. When his momentum ran out, he pushed with all the force he had off his left foot, and then his right. Elated energy cracked through him, like a whole pack of excited Makkachins running over his nerves as he shot (like a bullet, it felt) across the ice.

Out of the corner of his eye, Yakov noticed something odd in the rink. He turned from his conversation to see Viktor, flat on his back, kicking himself around with the biggest smile Yakov had ever seen on the guy. He rubbed his eyes, confused—and, yup, there he was. Viktor. Sliding, arms outstretched, looking like a coked-up snow angel. He watched as his student pushed himself off the wall into a sprawling pinwheel.

“Excuse me,” he said to the woman, not that he cared much to be polite to her. “I have matters to attend to.”

* * *

 Yuuri wasn’t sure if or how he was going to broach the subject of Viktuuri to Viktor, but he did know that it had been almost an hour and there was still no response. Perhaps Viktor had retreated into his social media hole, and would once again only emerge to talk about skating? Had something happened? Was it Viktuuri’s fault? Was it Yuuri’s?

He shouldn’t have waited until the next day to try and talk. He should’ve done it as soon as Phichit told him, but of course he hadn’t had the damn sense—

**Hello Yuuri! I don’t think we’ve ever talked before~**

Oh. Okay then. It was fine, as always. Yuuri sighed heavily at himself before responding.

_No, I don’t believe we have! It’s nice to meet you, digitally, at least._

_Your skating is very impressive! :)_

(Across the world, Viktor tripped over a stuffed dachshund in gleeful shock.)

**Thank you! It’s not as good as yours though~!**

…What was up with the tildes? The more Viktor talked, the more Yuuri felt like he was talking to Vitaly Nikulichev instead—but that comparison was probably unfair. He shouldn’t hold it against Viktor just because of a shitty fanfiction on the Internet.

_Well, I’m sure you know there are lots of people saying otherwise! Heh_

**They’re wrong. You’re the best there is!**

**I’m very honored to be talking to you!**

_Haha, thanks! :)_

_This is kind of weird, but you know how people on the internet “ship” skaters with other skaters?_

**Yeah**

**I found out people do that with me and Mila and Georgi**

**I don’t really mind though!**

_I don’t either, as long as they don’t shove it in our faces a bunch. There’s a lot of people who ship me with Phichit Chulanont. lol_

_Also there are people who ship us now_

**Oh yeah I heard about that! It’s called Viktuuri isn’t it?**

_Haha, yup!_

_I wanted to make sure you weren’t weirded out by that since I get the impression you’re new to the whole skating fandom scene_

**Thanks! I don’t mind at all**

**Is that what that fanfiction you sent me is?**

_Honestly I’m not sure what that is._

_It was like the author wanted to write about you but didn’t want readers to know it was you? It’s one of the most confusing things I’ve ever seen._

**Lol! I’m actually still reading it as it updates**

_So am I! I have no idea why though_

_This is probably really strange but I’m kind of rooting for Vitaly_

**I guess I am too, he’s a very relatable main character~**

_Phichit would make finger guns after that joke but since he’s not here I’ll do it for him in his honor_

_*finger guns*_

***finger guns***

* * *

 “You are playing a very dangerous game, Vitya,” Viktor muttered to himself. As he logged in to Wattpad, a sly smile spread across his face.

* * *

  **Love!!! on Ice by katsudon-vitya**

**Chapter 7: Saturday ☆⌒(** **ゝ。** **∂)**

AN: The first few chapters of this are so bad lol~ should I edit them up? Because I think I’ve gotten better at writing. Say what you think in the comments!

It’s Saturday today and we don’t have practice because Ciao Ciao doesn’t feel well. So here I am sitting in my apartment with nothing to do… I could go to the rink but with nobody there that I know it would be weird, and it’s too early in our friendship to invite Minami or Chris and Makkachin can’t skate because he’s a dog.

I roll out of bed at 10:00 and take a shower and wash my hair. I get out the clothes I’m going to wear, which is a loose black tank top and sweatpants because I don’t feel like doing much today. Instead of drying my hair with a hairdryer I just lie in bed and wait for it to dry because I’m lazy. I don’t dry my body off either or put my robe on, so I’m just lying there naked…

…and suddenly someone opens the door! I wrap a towel around my waist as fast as I can so that whoever it is doesn’t see my… you know. I’m blushing over my entire body but I walk to the door anyways to see who it is.

…It’s Yuuri. Oh my God. NO. (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ⁄<⁄ ⁄)

“Oh uh, hey Vitaly” he says awkwardly. He’s blushing too, almost more than me. I hope it’s because he thinks I’m attractive and not ugly but I’m not sure. At least now he knows I have abs though. This situation would be way worse if I didn’t have abs.

“H-hey Yuuri! Sorry I don’t have a shirt on…or anything else…” I say trying not to look at Yuuri’s eyes.

“No it’s ok! Um…” he mumbles. I look into his eyes by accident and look away and bite my lip. Does Yuuri think that’s sexy? Because if he did that I would faint and die. Yuuri remembers what he was going to say all of a sudden and it’s this: “Since we have an off day do you want to go skate with me?”

“But it’s a day off!”

“No I mean casually! Just in circles with all the other people. I do that sometimes, it’s kind of fun.”

That sounds like fun… I imagine what it will be like to skate around with Yuuri, maybe holding his hand like I don’t know how to skate… like a couple… I blush again and nod yes. “Will it just be us?” I ask and Yuuri nods slowly. Aww he’s embarrassed! ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ He looks so adorable like that and I just want to kiss him…

Suddenly I remember how we almost kissed in the restaurant parking lot. That’s probably why Yuuri is so embarrassed, because he remembers it too, but also because I’m shirtless.

I tell Yuuri to let me get ready and I’ll go with him. Since I’m going somewhere with Yuuri now I put on a light purple shirt with 2 buttons at the top that I don’t button (^_~) and I also put on a leather necklace and some dark jeans and tennis shoes. I tie some of my hair back in a ponytail but let the rest go gown my back, and roll my sleeves hallway up my arms. I put on some lipgloss and open the door back up to greet Yuuri again. He smiles at me and we head down to his car to go to the rink.

I watch all the sights of Detroit pass as we drive. The city looks more familiar to me now and I wonder if it will ever feel like home to me. I wonder if Yuuri thinks it’s his home or if he would rather live in Japan.

We get to the rink and I get out of the car with Yuuri. Since it’s a free skating time there are lots of families with little kids and people going out with their friends or on dates. We have to pay to get in this time which feels funny since I’ve never done that before.

“Did you remember your skates?” asks Yuuri and I realize that I didn’t because I’m an idiot. But he says he didn’t either and we’ll both have to get rental skates, so we wait in line to rent them. They’re old and brown and hideous-looking but I put them on my feet anyway and lace them up. They don’t feel as good as my skates but this is what I get for being a moron and forgetting them I guess.

Yuuri and I go into the rink and get on the ice. There’s a ton of people around us skating in circles, so we go the same direction. At first we’re apart but then Yuuri slips his hand into mine and I bet we look like a couple. Does Yuuri want us to be a couple I wonder? What if this is a date?

“Yuuri don’t let go, I think I’m going to fall~” I say jokingly and look at Yuuri.

He smiles and says “So do I!” and squeezes my hand tighter. Then some kid with hockey skates skating way too fast knocks into his arm and almost makes him fall, but I pull him up before he does. “Ugh, hockey players” he mutters.

“I know, I hate them too!” I say comfortingly.

“They think they can just skate really fast and it’s soooo ‘impressive’. Plus all of them are rude assholes and they all lift more weight than they should to impress women. It’s the stupidest thing ever” he laughs.

“And they think that they’re so much better than figure skaters because they’re more manly and strong, but they couldn’t do half the stuff we do! And all of them are on steroids and they’re ugly!”

Yuuri laughs and nods, agreeing with me. We keep skating around in circles, going much faster than everyone else because we’re the best there at skating, and I tell him about some of the douchiest hockey players back in St. Petersburg. It’s not the same as actually practicing and doing jumps and stuff and the rental skates are hurting my feet a little bit but it’s still fun to be doing this with Yuuri, and his hand in mine is so warm and I never want to let go of it.

Suddenly someone skates up to Yuuri and says hi. I don’t think she’s another skater since I didn’t see her at practice, so maybe she’s a friend or fan of Yuuri’s.

“Hi!” says Yuuri to the girl.

“Hello Yuuri~ My name is Lily and I’m a huge fan of you, can I have an autograph?”

“Absolutely!” Yuuri pulls out a pen and signs a paper Lily hands to him. She smiles and starts skating next to us which I think is weird, but maybe it’s not in America. But I notice Yuuri looks uncomfortable with her following us.

“Who’s this?” she asks.

“This is Vitaly, he’s training with me now! You should see him skate, it’s really impressive!”

“Cool! So what are you doing here today?”

“Um, skating?” laughs Yuuri awkwardly.

“Haha~! Me too, I’m just skating around in circles for no reason. It’s kind of boring honestly.” She skates in closer to Yuuri and leans her head against his shoulder. I think she’s flirting with him! I start feeling jealous and it almost actually hurts to watch, but I hope Yuuri turns her down. Not that he has to or anything.

“Well I’ve got Vitaly so it’s not so boring.” Wow! I’m flattered~! (//▽//)

“Oh well. That makes sense I guess” she says snidely. How rude.

Yuuri and I skate a little faster trying to throw her off but she catches up to us quickly and tries to keep talking again. “So you know how much gossip there is in the news and things… are you seeing anyone? I won’t tell!” she tells him quietly.

“Nope. None of that is true.” Yuuri is getting annoyed, I can tell by his voice.

“Well then. Would you be interested in someone? I know a girl… she’s free the rest of today and I hear she puts out on the first date, hehe!” says Lily in a way that obviously means that it’s her.

Yuuri sighs and says “Look, I’m flattered, but I’m not interested in that right now.”

Lily pouts at him. “What, do you not think I’m attractive?”

“I told you, I’m not interested! Please leave me and Vitaly alone.”

Yuuri and I start skating even faster but Lily is a good enough skater to keep up with us. Every time she gets close she starts to say something but we always speed up before we can hear it. Soon we’re skating so fast that the people are becoming a blur around us and we’re sure she can’t catch us now. Then we realize we’re going in circles.

We accidentally pass right by Lily and she grabs Yuuri’s arm and pulls him towards her so hard that his glasses fall off onto the ice. I pick them up for him and try to pull his arm back from Lily. People are staring at us now and skating over to where we are.

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! JUST GIVE ME ONE DATE AND I’LL SHOW YOU! I’LL BE THE BEST GIRLFRIEND EVER!” screams Lily, still pulling on Yuuri’s arm.

Yuuri is getting really really mad now, and I can tell he’s trying not to yell at her but that he wants to anyway. So I’ll do it for him. “Leave Yuuri alone!” I yell at her and try to pull her off of him. She slaps me in the face and leaves a scratch across my face where I can feel blood start to drip. I let her go to put my hand over my bleeding face, and I notice that Yuuri looks furious now.

“GET OUT OF HERE!” he screams as he finally lets his anger out. “NEVER TOUCH VITALY AGAIN!” The entire rink goes quiet and the yell echoes around.

“You’re in love with him aren’t you!? Is that why you don’t want me?” Lily cries and clutches at Yuuri’s shirt.

“You know what?” growls Yuuri and pushes her away from him. “Maybe I AM!”

Then he pulls me to him and crushes his lips into mine.

**195 reads, 39 votes**

 

**katsukiminami**

HOLY TITTIES THIS IS GETTING INTENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            **e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

            who and what are you  

 

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

mmmm a confrontation #saucy! i’m digging it vitya i really am!

 

**dorbees-official**

stoked they finally kissed! good chap

 

**pork-smutlet**

nGH what’s gonna HAPPEN! I haven’t left a comment b4 but this chap just…. NGHHHHH

 

**oropherionner87**

OHMYGOD THEYRES O CUTE IM

 

**wooded-waxwing**

Personally, I think the first few chapters could do with some editing, as you said. That’s not to say they aren’t good, though. Just cleaning up some minor grammar issues would polish it right up! :)

 

**yuuri-is-love-yuuri-is-life**

OMG finally! I wonder how their relationship is gonna progress from here… ;D

* * *

 “Okay,” said Yuuri, staring down at his phone screen in amused disbelief, “how the _fuck—"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the official viktor nikiforov spotify playlist: https://play.spotify.com/user/kierskolth/playlist/37pa5J0Uy1Dcw3dypXRFTJ


	10. FASTER, FASTER, UNTIL THE THRILL OF SPEED OVERCOMES THE FEAR OF DEATH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE SHOUTOUT 2 MAJIKARU-RIN ON TUMBLR FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL ART: http://more-like-bl-on-ice.tumblr.com/post/157224975718/i-absolutely-love-drawing-young-victor-after 
> 
> also srry this took so long lmao

September 16th. A Sunday. A lazy day for Yuuri, curled up in the sweatpants he’d worn to bed on his couch. Phichit relaxed beside him, letting his hamsters scrabble their way over his shirt. The lights were off, the TV bright, and there was supposedly a pizza on the way, though it had been at least 45 minutes since the order was placed.

In 10 minutes: the Cup of Mordovia, streaming live from the laptop Phichit had hooked up to the television screen. It was 8 in the morning or so in Detroit, but much later in Russia—4:00, to be exact. Time for Viktor Nikiforov’s free skate, and Yuuri had promised to watch. As fans joined the stream frantically, flooding the chat with message after over-excited message, the video quality started to drop. The servers were having a hard time handling the traffic—not just this one, all of them. This stream was Yuuri and Phichit’s third of the morning.

“Should we find another one? There’s 3 left, I think,” said Yuuri, with only a little concern. He’d long since come to terms with the fact that no matter what stream they used, the traffic was going to be heavy enough to have a negative impact. But the video was starting to become too pixelated to see correctly. Currently the camera was trained on Viktor standing by the rinkside, and only his eyes and a pinkish blob for his lips were distinguishable.

“So you can see Viktor’s beautiful face in hi-def? At this point I think that’s impossible. The quality will go back up in a sec though; just watch.” And sure enough, as Phichit spoke, it did, achieving a healthy 320p. For this stream that was the best they were going to get.

Yuuri smiled as Viktor’s features became clear. He had the same look Yuuri had noticed on him before his flawless short program—one of peaceful determination, as though he knew exactly what he was going to do and how he was going to do it, and couldn’t care less about how he placed. That, or he was dissociating. You really couldn’t tell, and Yuuri wasn’t about to ask.

He looked at his phone, at the picture Viktor had sent him just minutes earlier. Two thumbs up and a heart-shaped grin, after Yuuri had said that yes, he would be watching the free skate too, and that he wished Viktor the best of luck. It looked like the younger skater was blushing heavily. In fact, in most of the pictures Viktor had sent—for over the past few days, he had been sending many—he looked like he was blushing heavily, but Yuuri had chalked that up to his natural complexion.

The camera zoomed in as Viktor opened the gate and stepped out onto the ice. There was no red on his face whatsoever—natural complexion indeed. Phichit made the video fullscreen as Viktor stood, poised and ready, at the rink’s center.

Notes sang through the television—something by Tchaikovsky—and the skater was in motion. From the very first twitch of his hand it was pure rapture, and Yuuri sat stuck in his little space on the couch, mouth full of half-chewed popcorn as he stared. The first jump was a triple axel—Viktor landed it cleanly.

“Damn,” whistled Phichit, “that’s beautiful.”

“He is,” agreed Yuuri.

“I meant the skating.”

“Oh.”

A step sequence. Something in the back of Yuuri’s mind told him to be critical, that he could do it better, but the Tchaikovsky was putting him in a _trance_ and he didn’t even care. Phichit was giving him one of his famous teasing side-eyes, and Yuuri could feel the snarky weight of it on his neck, but even that wasn’t enough to distract him from Viktor. He felt heat on his skin.

“Doesn’t he look like a dweeb in real life, though?” Phichit asked around the heap of buttery popcorn in his mouth. “I mean, last pic he sent you he was wearing a tracksuit and blue barrettes.”

“No—or—I don’t think so, at least,” mumbled Yuuri. He had finally gotten around to swallowing his popcorn, but his eyes were still glued to the television. The free skate was almost over, sadly, but he doubted he would ever be able to forget it. Viktor looked like—like liquid silver on ice, but also a bird, but also a whole bunch of other beautiful and highly symbolic things, and if Yuuri had been 15 he’d be having a field day with the descriptions.

“Barrettes, Yuuri. _Barrettes._ If _that_ doesn’t say dweeb to you you’re either blind or in love.”

It was over. Viktor knelt, panting, arms outstretched to receive his applause. Yuuri’s eyes followed the rise and fall of his heaving chest, traced the fluid lines of his form. Phichit had been right—he was beautiful.

He was so, so beautiful.

* * *

  _Merde!_ The free skate was over already? Time had gotten away from him; he’d been idly spinning in his dad’s office chair with earbuds in, chilling to a 2 hour long Best of Vaporwave 2014 compilation, barely paying attention to the Cup of Mordovia. The boy rolled himself forward to his computer and nearly closed out the stream tab in frustration—his instructions had been to upload specifically _during_ the free skate, and he wasn’t keen on letting the one who had given them down. But Viktor Nikiforov was still on-screen, and clearly couldn’t be uploading fanfiction to the internet at the moment…

That would have to be good enough. Chris’ blond curls bobbed as he scrabbled about for the login info he’d been given—it was on an index card somewhere, in blue pen—oh. He was sitting on it. He opened Wattpad, typed in the correct username ( _katsudon-vitya_ ) and password ( _yuuri_ , because of fucking course that’s what the password was,) and he was in.

Viktor had written the whole chapter out earlier and saved it as a draft. Chris clicked it, hesitated a moment before hitting _Publish_ . He was vaguely tempted to mess with the chapter somehow, though he didn’t know why. It felt like being handed the Holy Grail and not being allowed to take a drink. This account was _sacred_ , and he wanted to leave a mark…

No—he had a mission, and that mission was to throw Yuuri Katsuki off Viktor’s trail, if he was on it. A shiver of thrill ran through him at that thought. Here he was, a lonely nerd in a dark bedroom in Switzerland, now a key player in Viktor’s game, which probably counted as important figure skating politics. A peasant in the courts of kings. Somewhere in his brain, there was a novel based off this, if he could pick it out.

But Viktor _had_ forgotten to title his work. Chris couldn’t just let his friend post an untitled chapter, now could he? And if Viktor wanted, he could always change it later.

…he typed out a title and clicked the button, satisfied.

* * *

 Phichit swung his phone off the floor and swiped through the notifications. There was one from Wattpad—it seemed that Vitaly Nikulichev was back at it again. He got Yuuri’s attention and showed him the alert, watching his eyes light up. Yuuri denied it, but—Phichit knew he found the plot to be at least marginally interesting, probably more.

Honestly, so did Phichit. The more he read, the more he found himself pulling for Vitaly. Weird, huh?

* * *

  **Love!!! on Ice by katsudon-vitya**

**Chapter 8: FASTER, FASTER, UNTIL THE THRILL OF SPEED OVERCOMES THE FEAR OF DEATH**

AN: My site for the faces is kaomoji.ru! If you can’t speak Russian there’s an English part if you click at the top~! U^ｪ^U Also thanks to eggplant emoji for helping me with the car chase!

Yuuri just—I can’t believe he just— what do I do? ∑(O_O;)

It feels like a volcano is erupting on my face and everyone in the rink is staring at me. Lily has her hands over her mouth in shock and so do a couple of other people, and I see the flashes of people’s phones taking pictures. Yuuri still looks angry but is also blushing a little. I’m in shock and mortified but also… really happy…

Ahhh… this is so confusing! ლ(¯ロ¯"ლ) I loved being kissed so much and Yuuri just basically confirmed that he’s in love with me so now we can be together as a couple but also everyone saw him kiss me and someone will probably put pictures online and it might hurt my career! Oh my God what should I do?

“How long have you been in love with Vitaly?” asks someone suddenly, and then a lot of people start asking questions after that person, like if we’re a serious couple and if we’re gay or not. People start skating towards us crowding in a circle, and Yuuri pulls me close to him and skates away from them fast and we leave the rink. The crowd gets louder and starts following us so Yuuri picks me up in a wedding carry and starts running. He doesn’t even stop for our shoes, he just takes me out to the car and throws me in the seat. My heart is beating so fast~

When we start driving away I notice someone behind us get in their car and start following us. Well they might not be following us, but it looks like they are and I tell Yuuri about it. He starts to drive faster out of the rink parking lot and onto the highway. The car is definitely following us, it’s weaving through all the traffic to get closer to us. Looking through the mirror I can see someone in the front seat taking pictures with their phone. Yuuri notices too.

He slams his foot on the gas pedal and we speed up. We almost run into the car in front of us but Yuuri turns the car in a tight turn around it so we pass it quickly, but even with that the car behind us is still following. The driver’s steering is clumsier than Yuuri’s and he almost crashes into the same car, but barely avoids it and catches up to us. I grab Yuuri’s shoulder as he speeds up again and zooms expertly through all the other cars. We’re going so fast now that all the trees on the side of the road are blurry and you can’t tell them apart.

The other car speeds up too and we get to a place where there are no other cars around. I watch someone stand up out of the sunroof of it and take out their phone to get more pictures. The flash goes off over and over and I’m getting mad now. Yuuri and I’s life isn’t anybody’s business but ours and nobody has any right to chase us on a highway to take pictures of us~! Σ(▼□▼メ)

Yuuri’s car is a convertible so I open up the top part and the wind starts hitting me in the face and pulling my hair back intensely, and silver locks of hair whip around my face. I stand up by pulling myself up with the back of the seat and turn around to face the car chasing us. Yuuri looks at me concernedly and tells me to sit down but I’m so mad at being chased that I don’t care how fast we’re going. I still have my seatbelt on also, so I’ll be fine. I feel kind of like I’m going to fall over but it’s an exciting feeling, like doing a high jump or skating really fast, or being on a rollercoaster.

The person standing out of the sunroof yells something at me but I can’t tell what it is. They take more pictures of me so I lift up one of my arms from the seat and give them the middle finger. “LEAVE US ALONE!” I yell loudly, hopefully they can hear. Then Yuuri grabs me and pulls me back down into the seat.

The other car is getting closer to us now but we can’t go any faster. I close my eyes for a second and throw my hand up in the air, pretending I’m on a rollercoaster or other amusement park ride and feeling my hair blow back from my head. I scream “WOOOHOOO!” as loud as I can to try and make that feeling more real. This is actually really fun, driving fast next to Yuuri, and I know I’ll remember this as long as I live.

We almost hit another car, but Yuuri swerves out of the way just in time and we launch off the road into a big snowy field. Snow starts falling around us and we come slowly to a stop in the center of the field. There are pine trees in the distance and the sky is grey and snowy. I look like the other car just kept going on the highway, so we’re safe for now.

I get out of the car and so does Yuuri. I walk around to his side and he steps closer to me, almost pinning me against the car. He’s wearing a heavy leather jacket with a V-cut black shirt and gray skinny jeans. I shiver as he leans in close to me and watch snow fall in his hair.

“Are you cold Vitya?” he asks me lowly. I nod my head yes slowly and Yuuri takes off his jacket and puts it around my shoulders. There’s tan fur on the inside and it’s vey warm with Yuuri’s body heat already. I look up into Yuuri’s rich chocolate orbs and smile at him shyly.

“That was fun~” I say. Yuuri laughs and rolls his eyes and nods.

“Yeah, fun, more like _terrifying!_ ” he responds. We look at each other for a moment and smile at each other and it seems like we’re the only two people in the world.

“H-hey… so when you k-kissed me” I ask “d-did you… mean it? Are you really in l-love with me?” I bite my lip waiting for the answer.

Instead of an answer I get another kiss on the lips.

My second kiss with Yuuri is a lot softer than my first. His lips are so warm like before, but instead of desperation this time I can feel love in them~ (♡μ◡μ) Yuuri slides his hand through my hair and run his fingers through it, and puts his other one on my face. I wrap my arms around his hips and pull him closer to me as we start to kiss harder and more passionately.

Suddenly Yuuri pulls away and I lean my head back against the car and smile at him. “Viktaly” he tells me softly, “I am absolutely 100% in love with you. I loved you from the moment I saw you at that restaurant.”

“I-I love you too, Yuuri. Um, I’ve actually been in love with you since before the restaurant~ That’s why I was so nervous, because I was worried you’d find out” I whisper embarrassedly. (⌒_⌒;) I mean I guess I had to tell him sometime if this relationship was going to work. I wonder if I should say about the posters and stuff. If he ever comes into my room~ OMG that’s a naughty thought (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)~ but if he does he’ll see all of the posters of him I have put up and also my cardboard cutout that I use to hang my scarves and hats on. I’d take it down but where do you hide a life sized cardboard cutout? Yeah I didn’t think you had an answer to that.

Yuuri laughs and kisses my forehead. “Oh Vitya... that’s so adorable~! You don’t have to be worried about anything when it comes to me! You could write fanfiction about me on the Internet and I still wouldn’t mind (haha get it? ☆⌒(≧▽° ) it’s meta!)”

“T-thanks!” I say blushing. “So does this mean… that we’re…”

“Boyfriends?” I nod excitedly. “Oh yeah. We’re definitely boyfriends now.”

Yuuri and I kiss again and even though the field is cold we stay there for a whole hour.

AN: Sorry this chapter is so short I just couldn’t think of a better place to end it~ ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆

**211 reads, 45 votes**

**xX_YuriKat_Xx**

BEKA LOOK ITS THAT QUOTE YOU HAVE ON UR SHIRT!!! XD XD XD

              **otabek-s _wattpad_account**

              Ah, so it is! Mmm, and what a delicious thing it is too. So evocative. I wish I owned a motorcycle.

                         **xX_YuriKat_Xx**

                            wat

 

**number1Phituuri-trash**

☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆

        **katsudon-vitya**

            ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆

 

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

wow,,, that title is clearly.,,,, the best part of the chapterrrr…. XD (for real tho mmmmm godddd this one killed me vit. im dead. uve done it.)

 

**PHICHITPHICHITPHICHITPHICHIT**

TRUE LOVE! TRUE LOVE! TRUE LOVE! TRUE LOVE RIGHT THERE

 

**pork-smutlet**

oh my god my ovariiieeeeesssss there so sweet I can’t take it!! *through tears* VITUURI FTW!

 

**_yuurisbabygirl_**

Oh my god I’m reading this in the bathroom at school and I’m about a millimeter away from just freaking out and crying this was so beautiful I’m in love I wish my deadbeat fuckhole of a bf was as romantic as this aaaaa

 

**katsukiminami**

Oh wow :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD this chapter was so SWEET!!!!! Wow I love Vitaly and Yuuri’s relationship but i also kind of wish I was Vitaly because Yuuri’s so hot but that’s ok!!! because this fic is my LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE

            **e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

            srsly dude… minami… are you like a real actual person or a badly-executed troll

                            **katsukiminami**

                            of course I’m real :(((((( Vitya put me in the story remember????

* * *

 Viktor pulled the thick hotel covers up around himself as he snuggled back against his pillows. Hotel beds were so nice, always thick and soft and lavender-smelling, and he’d just had a long, hot shower to wash the aches out of his muscles, and life was good. He thought on that for a moment—everything was okay. Later tonight he would treat himself to hot pirozhki from room service and watch some crime documentaries on cable TV. He had gold, the GPF wasn’t for two months, and _Yuuri Katsuki_ was at least partially his friend.

Yeah, life was _great,_ and that wasn’t something Viktor got to feel often.

He opened Wattpad on his phone—the personal one, he checked—and made sure that “Love!!! on Ice” had been properly updated as he’d requested. There was no way to know whether it had been done during the free skate or not, but Viktor trusted Chris enough to follow his instructions precisely. He smiled when he saw that Chapter 8 was up, though the title was a strange one.

There were some who derived thrill from walking on tightropes, climbing mountains free-handed, risking their lives for adrenaline. Viktor saw this the same way—slinking around like a thief in a pulp fantasy novel, evading discovery by Yuuri or Phichit. The idea of Yuuri reading whatever words he wrote _without knowing it was him_ made him feel a feeling he didn’t understand, but he categorized it as a nice little mix of excitement and—something else. Whatever it was, he was enjoying the hell out of it.

Oh—Yuuri had congratulated him on his win!

_You were amazing out there! Next thing I know you’ll be my greatest rival! lol_

**Haha~! I hope not, I think we’re better as friends! (** **ゝ。** **∂)**

_Me too!_

_Oh have you read the latest thrilling chapter of love on ice?_

**Yeah**

**What did you think?**

_It was pretty funny honestly_

_I don’t have a car and also can barely drive_

_Imagining myself in a high-stakes car chase cracked me up_

The author in Viktor was mildly disappointed with this development, but the rest of him barely cared.

**LOL~!**

**Also the title was so weird?**

_IT WAS! I was so confused!_

_I’ve just gotten used to this thing being weird though honestly_

_Like you know chapter 7?_

**Mhm!**

_…wait I’m about to reveal pretty private information here. Uh, you won’t tell anyone this, right?_

Viktor drew in a sharp breath and bit his lip, clenching his free hand in the sheets. “I’m in the _inner circle,_ ” he squealed, excitement overflowing. His legs and feet shook about under the covers.

**Oh no of course not! I understand!**

_The thing with being aggressively flirted with by a fan actually happened a few days ago and in the heat of the moment I told her I was seeing someone to avoid offending her, not my best decision_

_And that’s why people think I’m secretly dating someone! lol!_

Were Viktor standing, he would’ve tripped over another conveniently-placed stuffed dog.

Yuuri was single. Did Viktor have a chance? The likelihood of him eventually scoring a hit on Yuuri was now around 5% higher than he’d estimated, what with there being no significant others in the way. The revised estimate gave him somewhere in the ballpark of a 23% chance, a number which had been increasing exponentially with each of the text conversations he’d been having over the past few days. (One might get the impression that Viktor had thought carefully about these percentages. They would be right. He was on the verge of writing and graphing an equation.)

His dopey grin spread almost to the corners of his eyes as he replied.

**Woah! That sounds like a tricky situation**

_Yeah it is; I think tomorrow I’m going to make an announcement that I had a gf but that we broke up_

_But I’m not sure_

_I kind of want to let the whole thing blow over and die down, so people will think it’s just another stupid rumor, but I also don’t want to hurt the girl that was flirting with me_

**That’s very nice of you~! I think what I’d do is ignore it though, because that way most people will think it’s a rumor but she’ll still think it’s true**

_Thanks for the advice Viktor!_  

Revised statistic: Viktor’s likelihood of eventually scoring a hit on Yuuri had now increased to a solid 28%. He reached out for the only plushie he’d brought with him to Saransk, a brown poodle not unlike Makkachin, and cuddled it to his chest with glee.

* * *

  **viktorsleftskate**

**guys,,, vitya has a m a s s i v e gay crush on yuuri katsuki**

so this probably seems a little out of left field to you all but i stg i can explain myself if u guys bear with me. i’ve been looking a lot into the whole viktuuri/yuuri dategate thing as of late and while i def don’t think there’s anything actually going on between them over the past few days i’ve dug up some pretty,,, interesting stuff about our lil babby viten’ka and his apparent yuuri idolatry

okok so for starters there’s the obvious:[ analysis](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C222-0fXUAEZ4rW.jpg:large) on his skating by a dude who skates himself saying that he imitates yuuri’s style. this is all old news. who doesn’t imitate yuuri? he’s,,,, (he’sthebestthereisguyspleasedont’thateme) he’s someone any skater would look up to and admire, and we know for sure that vitya does look up to him/admire his style, as much as some of you yuuri haters are loathe to admit it.

also old news at this point: vitya voting on[ all three chapters](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C222-0fXUAEZ4rW.jpg:large) of smutty wattpad yuuri fic, and ofc ppl are assuming that he’s just reading a bunch of skating fic shit that he didn’t know existed before, like an outsider looking in sort of deal, but here’s the thing. look at his [ activity](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C222-0fXUAEZ4rW.jpg:large). so he’s reading a bunch of fic about himself, and then there’s the jump to the yuuri one. then immediately after that we see him reading/voting on a bunch of other fic about other skaters. some of it’s yuuri-related, some not, but it seems like he’s just going around seeing what the skating fandom has to offer, right?

…but how did he get to the yuuri fic in the first place?

here’s an example:[ this fic](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C222-0fXUAEZ4rW.jpg:large) and [ this one](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C222-0fXUAEZ4rW.jpg:large), which according to viktor’s activity, he voted on in succession. if you look in the recommended reads of fic #1, you can see fic #2. makes sense. viktor sees the next fic in the recommended reads, so he clicks. this is apparently what he’s done for all the fics about other skaters in his activity, or at least a long stretch of them.  you can test this out rn if you want. go to any 2 fics next to each other in the activity and check the recs.

but if you go to the last fic viktor voted on about himself before the yuurixreader, you can see that the fics in the rec sections are all also about viktor. there are no yuuri fics there at all. granted, from what i know about wattpad the recs change sometimes for each story depending on your account activity, but up to this point viktor had only been reading fic about himself. why would a yuuri story be in the recs, whether they change or not?

so how did he find it? we’ll get back to that.

point 2 (3?): w2tm. how did viktor find _that?_ he’s never given any explanation as to how he came across it other than “i was just messing around online.” messing around where? he would’ve had to have gone to wattpad obvs, which means that he knew what it was before the official account. anyone who types in wattpad.com gets taken straight to the login screen and can’t progress into the site. to get into a story without logging in you have to have the link or google it specifically. so if viktor is dicking around looking for something funny to read and he tries to go on wattpad to peruse the pickings, either he has to google specific keywords+wattpad to try and find something, or he goes straight to the login. now idk about you but when i’m just randomly browsing the internet for funny shit i don’t have specific keyword searches in mind. can you see where i’m going with this?

if you can’t, here it is: viktor has another wattpad account. he’s had it for a long time, in fact. and what does he use this mysterious second wattpad for?

yuuri fic.

it makes sense when you think about it: viktor imitates yuuri’s skating. why? he’s a skater of such a high caliber that developing a more distinct style would be natural, but still he does certain elements (step sequences mostly) almost exactly like yuuri. it’s not as if he isn’t good enough, but he thinks yuuri is better, because he idolizes the hell out of him. and when you idolize someone who happens to be extremely attractive and within your age group, especially at the age viktor is, i’d say 9/10 times you develop a crush on that person. (for you “but viktor isn’t gay!!!1!!one!!!!!” people: a. bisexuals exist and b. look. at. him. there’s no way that kid is straight, sorry)

so vitya’s crush is huge enough that he reads fic on the daily. he was bored and/or horny one day and decided to read some steamy shit on his site of choice. he makes a search, sees yurikat’s profile. from the name he assumes it’s a yuuri katsuki fan account and decides to check it out. when he sees what yurikat actually writes he reads it anyway and thinks it’s hilarious. (as for why he tweeted it, no idea.)

fast forward to post-w2tm, the official account is a thing. viktor gets bored and/or horny again, wants more yuuri fic. opens up the wattpad app, which he has since he’s a frequent user. forgets he’s signed in to his official account and votes on some sexy yuurixreader. realizes what he’s done, goes on a frantic voting-on-other-skater-fic spree to cover up the fact that he was reading yuuri stuff intentionally.

sounds out there, right? surely it’s just a weird coincidence? oh no—there’s more.

you might remember the[ interview](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C222-0fXUAEZ4rW.jpg:large) we got a year back in the Dark Ages from the poodlegaters who interviewed that anonymous waitstaff lady @post-GPF banquet, aka the Little Brown Dog interview. (for those who don’t know: she talks about viktor walking outside with a “little brown dog,” and it was the poodlegate holy grail for like 2 months.) anyways—so since we were all desperate as hell for info, the interviewer asks at the end if there’s anything else notable about viktor that doesn’t relate to poodlegate, and she says AND I QUOTE: “sometimes i would see him walking around the japanese skater, yuuri katsuki i think, and he would walk up like he was about to introduce himself, but then sometimes he would get nervous and turn around before katsuki or whoever could see him. then the other half of the time when he would start walking towards [katsuki], one of his russian teammates would come and distract him from it and kind of drag him off away from [katsuki]. it looked to me like they were doing it deliberately, like they didn’t want viktor to introduce himself to the other skater.” (this is around the 11 minute mark)

what’s this all about? we used to just think that this woman was reading too much into things or that viktor was just weird, but what if that’s not it? what if a. he’s too nervous to go talk to yuuri because he has a big ol flamin gay crush on him, and b. yakov/mila/georgi/whoever know about his big ol flamin gay crush and are actively trying to prevent viktor from talking to yuuri ever because he’s crushing so hard and it’s so obvious that he is that he’ll end up embarrassing himself, the club, russia, the sport of competitive figure skating in general… (also because they want to make sure nobody finds out viktor isn’t straight, especially not a potential future rival who could sabotage his career, though i don’t think yuuri would do something like that)

TL;DR: viten’ka has another secret wattpad account he uses to read sexy yuuri katsuki fanfiction because he’s madly in love and wants to make out with him for 5 hours in a snowy field of fragrant pines

 

_#ipa #ice prince alliance #viktor nikiforov #yuuri katsuki #but the real question is… does he write fic?_

_13,647 notes_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on tumblr @ (katsudon-vitya)
> 
> viktor's spotify playlist: https://play.spotify.com/user/kierskolth/playlist/37pa5J0Uy1Dcw3dypXRFTJ


	11. add title later~ don’t forget!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> announcement: thanks to the amazing ChpNinjaChick, viktor's wattpad is now officially real: https://www.wattpad.com/user/katsudon-vitya  
> credit to them also for that STELLAR love on ice cover! 
> 
> sorry this chapter took so long! <3

**ice-prince-imagines**

_katsudon-vitya asked: Could you do something for Viktuuri if you have the time~?_

Oooh absolutely! I’m starting to fall in love with that ship tbh

So Viktor and Yuuri get each other’s numbers at the Grand Prix Final, and after becoming friends over text they realize that they’d rather be something more. Eventually Viktor works up the courage and tells Yuuri that he likes him and asks him out, and Yuuri says yes, as long as they keep it secret because the figure skating world would freak out. Long distance relationships are always tough but they make it work, and they start to fall deeply in love with each other. Both of them are dying to see each other in person again but it doesn’t seem like there’s a way, since Viktor is in St. Petersburg and Yuuri is in Detroit.

Then Viktor makes a huge decision—he’ll go into the Seniors for the rest of the season. Yuuri congratulates him and tells him he hopes he does well so that they can see each other at Worlds. Viktor ends up going to Worlds and gets the gold while Yuuri gets silver, but Yuuri doesn’t care because he can finally see Viktor again. When Yuuri skates up and stands on the podium next to Viktor he just can’t help himself and drags Viktor down and kisses him for so long he almost falls off the podium, and the entire world is watching.

Then afterwards they kiss again at the banquet and 100s of pictures of them get put on the internet but they don’t care, and they officially announce their relationship to the press, and a reporter asks Yuuri how it feels to lose to his boyfriend.

“Well, I may have won silver,” he says, “but at the end of the day I’m still taking home the gold!”

 

**katsudon-vitya**

Ahhh thank you~ This is perfect! (/▽＼*)｡o○♡

 

_#viktuuri #viktor nikiforov #yuuri katsuki_

_280 notes_

* * *

“Okay, Yuuri, it’s time. You have to do this,” he said, staring himself down in the mirror. Yuuri turned on the tap and splashed some water in his face so he wouldn’t look like total shit for the camera, but to no avail. His face still had a frantic edge to it that cold tap water couldn’t wash away.

“You okay in there?” called Phichit from the other side of the locked bathroom door. With phone in hand, no doubt, ready to film. Sighing, Yuuri used his wet hands to slick his hair back and toweled off his face.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m—I’m ready. Let’s go.”

Yuuri unlocked the door and walked out of the cramped apartment bathroom. Phichit followed him to the living room, where they’d prepared a small filming space—a chair from the dining table against a white bedsheet duct taped to the top of the wall. No Hollywood set, but it would do.

Yuuri slid cautiously into the seat and spread his hands out over his knees, deliberating. He still wasn’t sure this was something he wanted to do, and hadn’t Viktor said— “Hey—on second thought—“

Phichit held up his hand to cut Yuuri off. “No, no, no second thoughts. You’ve had at least four second thoughts so far.” He squinted his eyes in consideration. “That’s, like, fifth thoughts.”

“But this might not be the best idea!” Yuuri protested. “I was thinking maybe we could let the whole girlfriend thing blow over without comment. Everyone would think it was just a crazy rumor then.”

“Did Viktor suggest that? Because that sounds like something Viktor would do.”

Yuuri looked down at the hideously-patterned carpet below him. “Uh, yeah, he did, actually.”

“Wait, really?” asked Phichit in confusion. He’d intended his remark to be a joke. “You told him about—Helen, and all?”

“He won’t tell anyone!” Yuuri rushed, worried he’d angered his friend.

“No, I know he won’t, it’s just—you’re not Viktor. What works for him wouldn’t work for you. People _expect_ you to say something. It would look suspicious if you didn’t.”

Yuuri thought on it. Phichit was right, as usual—where Viktor could get away with silence, Yuuri couldn’t. It would be out-of-character for him to simply avoid addressing something. He’d seen what people were saying: they wanted answers, and expected to get them soon.

“Ok, you’re right. Let’s film.”

Phichit grinned and held up his phone. “Rolling in three… two… and go!” he chirped, watching as Yuuri’s stage smile spread over his face.

“Hi—it’s Yuuri, obviously, and I think there’s something I need to address…”

* * *

  **porkcutlette**

ok but yuuri is obviously lying in the vid??? like look at his face???? wtf is going on

 

**katsudon-vitya**

I think he’s telling the truth.                                                                                                          

 

**porkcutlette**

dude no he isn’t!!! he looks so uncomfortable compared to literally every other video he’s made

 

**katsudon-vitya**

Well like he said he just broke up with his girlfriend! I’d be uncomfortable too if I was talking about something like that online.

 

**porkcutlette**

ehh… good point but i think something’s just off about it.

 

_#yuuri katsuki_

_20 notes_

* * *

Yuuri hadn’t taken his advice. Viktor didn’t mind that—Yuuri’s decisions were his alone—but seeing everyone speculate about the truth behind the video he’d released was upsetting. People had a right to say what they wanted about the situation, but Viktor didn’t want any harm to come to Yuuri or his career because of it.

He’d been trying to defend Yuuri online where he could, not that that was doing much good. So far he’d only spoken out on private accounts. Viktor was on the verge of making a public announcement of support for his friend ( _friend!_ He still could barely believe that descriptor applied to Yuuri.)

He chewed idly on his tongue as he watched the street, waiting for Mila to arrive with his phone, which he’d left in her bag for safe-keeping during practice and forgotten to retrieve. The sun was setting below the row of buildings in front of him, reds and pinks tinting the brick, and soon it would be too dark to continue squatting here on Yakov’s porch. Viktor would have to go inside—the sooner the better. His thighs were starting to burn.

Where _was_ Mila? Yakov’s house (Viktor’s too, considering he lived there full-time) wasn’t far from the metro. If she’d left 30 minutes ago like she’d said she would over the home phone, she should’ve been here by now. Viktor felt himself growing antsy. Today’s sunset was the same color as his shirt and his face was lit up just _so_ but there was no use looking stunning if he couldn’t take a picture of it.

Light flashed off a head of waving red hair—and there was Mila, jogging down the sidewalk with athletic grace. She waved cheerily, and in a few lengthy strides she was there at Viktor’s doorstep, fishing around in her bag for his phone.

“Thanks Mila!” chirped Viktor, arm extended to receive his property. Mila dug out the phone and dropped it into his hand with finesse. With a nod of recognition, she turned to leave—but stopped.

“Oh—I like your wallpaper, by the way,” she said with a smirk. Viktor was confused. His lock screen was just a solid pale blue, nothing worth remarking over, and Mila couldn’t have seen his actual home screen. The phone was locked—she’d have to either have his fingerprint or the password, neither of which he’d given her.

“Um—thanks! It’s one of my favorite colors. Like the sky in summer, I guess.”

The look Mila gave him told him plain and clear that she didn’t mean the lock screen.

“You know, Vitya,” she quipped, “your password’s not very strong.”

And she was off, jogging back the way she came.

Viktor blanched.

His password was _yuuri._

He didn’t put it past Mila to have done something destructive. Hurriedly he opened his phone and pressed his thumb to the home button to unlock it. (The sky blue of the lock screen switched abruptly to stunning fanart of Yuuri, shirtless, hair slicked back and skin sweaty from exertion. The artist had taken care to define his abs.)

Viktor swiped quickly through all his social media outlets—Tumblr. Instagram. Twitter. Wattpad. Everything seemed in order except for his image gallery, where the newest addition was now a selfie of Mila on the metro making a ridiculous face. Nothing catastrophic had occurred, though it was likely Mila had noticed his 127 saved pictures of Yuuri in addition to the PG-13 wallpaper.

Oh well. It wasn’t like she didn’t know already; most of the people who interacted with him on a daily basis knew what was up. In the words of Georgi, it was “incredibly obvious, dude.”

Viktor stood, thighs on fire from squatting for so long, and shuffled, embarrassed, through the door. Yakov watched him blankly from the kitchen as he made his way to the staircase, and then up to his room, filled with the soft snores of a soundly-sleeping Makkachin. He slumped into a hammock—piled high with the fruits of 5 solid years of ardent stuffed dog collection—strung up in the corner, and started to rock himself back and forth with a foot. A Pomeranian fell onto the floor with the motion.

He would need to change his password now. Mila hadn’t done anything bad this time, but needless to say Viktor didn’t trust her, especially given how much he left his phone in her bag during practice. His quick-tapping thumbs paused over the _Enter New Password_ box—what should it be? Something he would remember…

 _Viktuuri_.

 _Have fun guessing that one, Mila_ _,_ he thought slyly as he typed it in.

As he arranged his dogs around him, he remembered Yuuri’s plight. Surely Yuuri would appreciate it if Viktor made a video on his behalf; Viktor knew _he_ would. If it came out that he was ~~madly, desperately in love with~~ attracted to Yuuri or something like that, the support of even one other skater would mean the world to him. Yuuri’s case wasn’t quite that, but there was still massive unrest among the skating community, unrest that if quelled would doubtless improve the atmosphere, especially with the Senior Grand Prix about to start.

Viktor lay back in his hammock, the netting stretching to accommodate his weight. He slung his phone up above his head and opened the camera, checked the view. His hair was fanned out around him, hanging through the openings of the hammock, and strong sunset-pink through the slats of his blinds was playing through the silvery strands. Perfect by all accounts, even if the angle was a bit Tai-Lopez-Lamborghini-Video-y. He pushed the plushies off-camera—even _he_ knew they were a little embarrassing—and started to record, hoping Yuuri would see.

* * *

It was dark enough that the two figures were indistinguishable save for the white stripes along the edges of their respective tracksuits. Anyone who saw them there, huddled together on a park bench at twilight, bodies turned inward to guard their conversation from the outside world, would have known immediately they were up to something secret.

“So?” asked Georgi, leaning towards Mila excitedly.

“Yeah—he has the Wattpad app. He was logged in as katsudon-vitya.”

Georgi smiled wildly, though it was barely visible in the darkness. “And you’re sure? It’s him, 100%?”

“ _Positive._ ”

“Oh my God.” Georgi clapped a hand over his mouth. “Vitya, oh my God. Vitya. Oh my _God._ ”

“I _know_ ,” whispered Mila ecstatically. “That’s what I said!”

* * *

**viktorsleftskate**

**vitya’s gay for yuuri 2: electric boogaloo**

ok

i found some more stuff concerning viktor n yuuri and i was gonna post it today anyway but then oh my god.

the yuuri video. you guys. the video.

sO this whole yuuri debacle has been interesting 2 say the least and personally i subscribe 2 @ahsoka-magicka’s “he’s lying abt the whole thing”[ theory](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0Zc34MXAAAJB_T.jpg) but just forget abt that 4 now. i’m still a firm believer that there is nothing actually going on between him and viktor so if ur coming into this with that in mind just put it out of ur head for now. this is about vitya, not yuuri.

so obviously the biggest deal with the video is the whole “viktor knows about yuuri’s problems and supports him/he cares abt yuuri enough to make a video/etc” and i think anyone who watches it who wasn’t convinced b4 that viktor’s a little in love is sold on the idea now because just look at him

but forget about all that 4 a sec. that’s the obvious shit. we’re ascending to the ~next level~ here.

imagine viktor for a moment. viktor, who, as outlined in my previous post, has a massive gay crush on yuuri katsuki, who is so head-over-heels 4 the boy that his teammates won’t even let him talk 2 him bc he’ll embarrass himself. he relates 2 yuuri the way i know some of us relate to him. so he’s checking up on what’s happenin on the internet, obvs yuuri’s twitter and yt and everything. he has notifications on for everything. he sees the new vid abt yuuri havin a lady lover and breaking up, taps it, watches.

“oh no! the yuuri fan community is in turmoil!” he says, after reviewing his social media. “i will address this issue and side myself with yuuri because i, a famous skater, will surely be able to offer him support in his time of need!” he says excitedly or something. then he makes the Video.

what he doesn’t know is that the yuuri fan community outside of tumblr is not in turmoil.

no seriously. go on twitter, instagram, fb, the other “mainstream” sites where all the skaters have accounts. the yuuri fans on there are all supporting him:[ x x x x](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0Zc34MXAAAJB_T.jpg)

if we believe viktor’s “official persona”, for lack of a better phrase, he only has 5 accounts: twitter, insta, fb, yt, and wattpad. no tumblr. no way of knowing what the deepest recesses of yuuri fans are saying, especially if we look at who he follows ([x x x x x](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0Zc34MXAAAJB_T.jpg)). no yuuri fans, nobody who would be initiating in the Discourse that led to viktor believing the fandom was on fire. yuuri himself, the only yuuri-related person viktor officially follows besides phichit i guess, hasn’t even mentioned anyone criticizing him/saying he’s lying anywhere.

but i mean this is tumblr, and just look at the theory i linked earlier, of course yuuri fans here are debating shit like crazy. this is what viktor’s seen of the fans’ reaction to the vid, because _this is the first place he goes when anything happens with yuuri. he has a tumblr. dedicated. to yuuri._

(viktor if ur reading this ily <3 and ur crush is cute as hell and i love u

i’m not done w/ the video though, bc there’s something else. [   here’s ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0Zc34MXAAAJB_T.jpg) a screenshot i took at 4:58, and obvs the top left area is circled. viktor’s in a hammock lookin thing in his room probably, and like the queue tea he is he starts swinging it a lil bit. for most of the vid the most u can see when he swings up is his bed (and yes, poodlegaters, it _does_ look like there’s dog hair on it.) but for a split second he swings up a little too high and boom. u can just see his wall and the row of things tacked onto it. the camera isn’t focused so u can’t tell but obviously the wall itself is a cream color while these things are a deep blue-black-white blur.

and i’m not saying they’re yuuri posters? but they’re totally yuuri posters???

to be specific, from left to right i think they’re[ this one](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0Zc34MXAAAJB_T.jpg) , [ this one](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0Zc34MXAAAJB_T.jpg) and [ this one](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0Zc34MXAAAJB_T.jpg), judging only by the bottom parts. i checked and yes, all three of these ship to russia and cost around 1200 rubles. a sidenote: that’s like $20 a piece/£16/26 australian dollars/basically a lot to spend on a poster.

i would point out more specific points in the video and whatnot but. just go watch[ it](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0Zc34MXAAAJB_T.jpg), i think it speaks for itself. if u guys rlly want i’ll break it down like tomorrow in another post but for now i’m gonna move on to what i was gonna talk abt originally. i was gonna draw this out and elaborate but i’m tired and assuming anyone at this point in the post doesn’t need any more convincing so here’s just a list of everything i found:

  *        [this](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0Zc34MXAAAJB_T.jpg) interview from last year @ 3:15 where the lady asks about his inspirations and mentions yuuri. the _blush._
  *        [this video](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0Zc34MXAAAJB_T.jpg) from phichit of the gpf banquet last year. a few seconds in he walks into the corner of the frame way in the back and looks over at phichit & yuuri for about 10 sec., then he leaves. poor lil shyguy :/
  *         every reference viktor’s made so far on any platform that points to a thorough understanding of fandom culture and lingo ([x x x x x](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0Zc34MXAAAJB_T.jpg))
  *         also i talked to one of my hardcore yuuri fangirl friends and she says[ this](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0Zc34MXAAAJB_T.jpg) tweet might be a subtle reference to the “phituuri crisis” from 2 yrs ago, which if true means viktor has been a yuuri fan for a _long damn time_



sorry this was such a ramble but i’m sHOOK @ the video. i wouldn’t be surprised if he publicly proclaims his love within the week at this point

(if ur reading this pls know we all support ur adorable crush 100% and we love u.)

 

**donkeyollie**

I THINK I FOUND VIKTOR I THINK HE’S @katsudon-vitya ON BOTH HERE AND WATTPAD

THERE’S THIS FIC ON WATTPAD WITH THIS GUY WHOSE NAME IS VALERY OR SMTH AND YUURI AND THE CHARACTER LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE VIKTOR AND IT WAS PUBLISHED BEFORE VIKTUURI BECAME A THING

 

**aubergine-clipart**

  1. there’s no way that’s viktor, he wouldn’t write like that and b. guys, pls don’t try to find him. pls stop talking about this yuuri thing. he’s just 15. let him have his privacy. pls.



 

_#how would u feel if somebody told the whole world about your secret crush #viktor nikiforov #ice prince alliance #yuuri katsuki_

_20,437 notes_

* * *

All authors dream of writing, free of obligations, a sweet morning breeze ruffling their hair, the sun bright but not stifling, a warm robe wrapped around them and the smell of cold dew on cobblestone in the air. Or, at least, Viktor did. That was the most creatively stimulating and pleasantly symbolic environment his highly poetic mind could create, and as of this morning he was living the dream life with his window open behind him. The atmosphere would’ve been a little better without the noise of two hungover gopniks having a half-assed fistfight beneath his window, but this was St. Petersburg, and Viktor took what he could get. In short—he was in a writing mood, and he was determined to milk it.

He hadn’t yet checked the public reaction to his video concerning Yuuri, but he hoped it was positive. For now, there were more pressing matters at hand: he hadn’t even started on the 9th chapter of “Love!!! on Ice”, and he knew his fans were waiting. Humming softly, he flipped open his laptop screen, where Wattpad was already up.

This chapter was going to be a good one. Viktor had been plotting it out in his head as he lay in bed last night, and he couldn’t wait to get writing. There were thrills galore, drama and scandal and intrigue, and oh, the _ending—_ that ending. He’d planned the entire chapter around it, and was almost tempted to write those last few paragraphs out first just to feel the ecstasy of writing them. But desserts were always sweetest when they were saved for last, so he started right at the beginning.

* * *

**Love!!! on Ice by katsudon-vitya**

_Draft (81 words)_

**Chapter 9: add title later~ don’t forget!!!**

As I walked into school I heard voices all around me saying a bunch of things. “Vitaly is it true that you kissed Yuuri Katsuki? Are you two dating?” everyone is saying and they press close to me, taking out their phones and taking pictures. I can barely get through because so many people are blocking the way. But then I see a hand through all the bodies so I grab it and it pulls me through to safety. It’s Chris and he has a worri

* * *

 A knock at the door startled him, and he slammed the lid shut. “Vitya!” shouted Yakov. “Wake up!”

Viktor slid his laptop under his bedsheets before dropping to his carpeted floor. “I’m awake!” he called, confused. Yakov usually never woke him up like this on Sundays. “What is it?”

Yakov opened the door, coffee in hand, looking gruffer than usual. “We need to talk,” he said, walking up to his student with more energy than Viktor would typically credit him with having this early in the morning. Emotions were hard to discern where Yakov was concerned—he seemed to exist in a permanent state of irritation—but judging by his facial expression he was near the angrier end of the spectrum. Viktor looked up quizzically at his coach, wondering what it was he wanted.

“About what?”

“This _video_ you made.”

“Last night?”

“Yes, _that_ one.” Yakov sat down on the edge of Viktor’s bed and sighed. Worried, Viktor took the hammock. “You—we’ve discussed this, Vitya.”

Yakov was still calling him Vitya, which was a good sign. Sometimes if he was angry enough he would switch to Viktor. “Um, I know we have, but—I think things have changed, a little bit?” he replied hesitantly. He wanted to avoid admitting that he and Yuuri had been texting frequently as of late.

“No, they haven’t. Do you even remember the rules? Tell me the rules, Vitya; there are three.”

Viktor pursed his lips. Yes, the “Yuuri Rules”—he’d written them on a sheet of three-year-old notebook paper and slid them between the slats on the underside of his bedside table. He remembered them perfectly. “Uh. No talking about Yuuri, no talking _to_ Yuuri if possible, no publicly doing anything related to Yuuri in any way.” He looked sheepishly at Yakov. Technically, in the past few weeks he’d broken all three of the rules, but at least his coach only knew about one.

“And do you remember what happens if you break them?” Yakov glanced pointedly around at the Yuuri merch covering the room, at the hand-sewn stuffed likeness of the skater, at the cardboard cutout with all of Viktor’s scarves piled around its neck for storage.

Viktor gulped and threaded his hands together in worry. A world without Yuuri’s face smiling at him from every inch of his room would be hell, maybe worse. “All I said was that I believed him! I didn’t say he was—attractive, or anything like that—it’s just skating drama things!”

“’Skating drama.’ Since when do you care about ‘skating drama?’ I’m not sure you should be doing this social media thing,” muttered Yakov. He sighed again. “I wish you’d just get over him, Vitya. I don’t know why I’ve let this obsession go on so long.

Neither did Viktor. When Yakov first found out about his protégé’s feelings for Yuuri—by way of discovering a hidden stash of posters slid under Viktor’s bed— he nearly had an aneurysm (and thanks to Google Viktor now knew what that meant.) It was _unprofessional_ , he’d said. It would _make Yuuri uncomfortable_ if they ever met! And this was _Russia,_ so there was an added factor of danger to Viktor’s potential career as a skater, or even to Viktor himself! Yakov’s concerns were valid; Viktor could understand.

You couldn’t very well tell someone to stop having a crush, and Yakov knew that, and Viktor knew he knew. Still, every day he wondered if today Yakov would finally put his foot down and clean all the Yuuri merch out of his room. They were on thin ice (haha get it? ☆⌒(≧▽° )) as it was, and an infraction of the rules they’d agreed upon could lead to the end.  Viktor sensed that this was about to get catastrophic. How to stop it? What to say?

“Because it makes me happy?” was the only thing that came to mind, and he said it. Yakov looked at him in some sort of sympathetic parental way, like a concerned father who only wanted the best for his son, or a concerned figure skating coach who only wanted the best for his favorite student/son, and sighed for the third time in five minutes, which was normal for him.

“I know,” he said, “I know, but Vitya, it’s bound to get out eventually, and I don’t want you to embarrass yourself.”

“I’ll be more careful, Yakov, I swear.” Viktor smiled hopefully. It seemed as though he would escape punishment…

“Look—I’m going to take your computer. You can have it back in three days,” said Yakov firmly.

Or not.

“What? No!” Viktor protested. He _needed_ his laptop if he was going to write Chapter 9; he couldn’t write for shit on his phone! “I have to work!”

“You have your phone; just use that.”

“But I’m writing an _essay!_ ”

Yakov stared quizzically at his student. Viktor was homeschooled due to the demands of his athletic life, and Yakov generally knew everything that he was working on. He hadn’t heard about any essay. “On what?” he asked, mildly suspicious.

“Stalin,” replied Viktor, thinking on his feet. “Did you know he had a son called Yakov? They hated each other.”

At least one person informed Yakov of this every three months. He knew. “Write it on paper, then,” he said, and slid his hand under the bedsheet where Viktor had hidden his laptop. Grabbing it in one hand, he stood and walked from the room.

“Yakooov,” whined Viktor, to no avail. His coach was already down the stairs, hiding Viktor’s laptop wherever he hid things. Viktor huffed and closed the door. It looked like Chapter 9 would have to wait.

* * *

Phichit was nothing if not dedicated.

He had been working on this goddamned Viktuuri fanfiction for two hours and gone deeper down the incomprehensible black hole of research than he knew it was possible to go. Now he had two separate documents open—one for the actual work itself, and one for a collection of links and notes all pertaining to Viktor’s actual feelings for Yuuri, which were apparently _definitely_ conducive to fanfic-writing.

It had started with the Tumblr posts. He’d seen the first while searching through Viktor’s tag, trying to get a better handle on what his fanbase was like and the kinds of things they produced. At first he’d written it off as drivel, but when he’d gone back and actually given it a read it made an incredible amount of sense. The same user had posted a follow-up that very day, which Phichit also read through, as well as numerous others making the same central claim: that Viktor had a long-standing crush on Yuuri.

Then there were videos on Youtube, frame-by-frame analyses of past interviews and Viktor’s defense of Yuuri. Then there were the Reddit theories, and the Facebook debates, and the links and news shared on small independent fan forums. And the fanfiction, which technically wasn’t research, but he’d read it anyway.  After one of the most intense and revealing bouts of web-surfing in his life, Phichit Chulanont was thoroughly and emphatically convinced.

In other words, he shipped it. Hard.

He was still going to show the fic to everyone, of course, and it was still going to be ridiculous. But if underneath the hilarity and the impossibility and the sheer ludicracy of it all there was something touching, emotional, _real_ ; something that would resonate with Yuuri, and maybe give him a little nudge in the right direction? Then all the better.

So here was the plot, or at least what Phichit hoped the plot would turn out to be by the time he finished: Yuuri would be 23, Viktor 27, and Yuuri would feel about Viktor the way Viktor almost definitely felt about him in real life. But what he wouldn’t know was that Viktor was head-over-heels in love with him after—seeing him pole dance or something; Phichit hadn’t worked it out yet. Anyways—Yuuri would have a bad season and strongly consider retirement, but for yet-to-be-determined reasons, Viktor would show up completely naked at his house, offer to be his coach, and through hard work, intense emotional bonding, and cheeky shenanigans, bring him back to his competitive peak and get him Grand Prix Gold. Or something like that.

Admittedly, Phichit had stolen almost the entire plot from a Hallmark movie, but hey, it wasn’t like Yuuri was ever going to know.  

He laced his fingers together over his laptop keyboard and cracked his knuckles, ready to finally start writing again after ages of research. Chapter 1 would either be really short or really long, depending on how much exposition he wound up putting in, and the only thing he knew for certain was that it would end with Viktor standing in the onsen at Yu-topia Katsuki covered only by a strategically-placed water fountain, but he still felt that he was ready to get writing. Or, at least, he was too tired of research to do anything but.

Phichit felt a slight shift in the air behind him as someone walked up, and he quickly closed the lid on his PC.

“What were you working on there?” asked Yuuri teasingly, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the back of the couch.

“It’s that Viktuuri fanfiction. You’re not allowed to read it until it’s done, though, or at least until the first chapter is.”

“Ooh, I’m excited!”

“You better be. It gets crazy, let me tell you.”

Yuuri slung himself over the couch to sit next to Phichit. “Are you going to show him? Viktor, I mean?”

How had he never considered that? If his ultimate goal was to get Yuuri and Viktor together (which it was, tentatively) then sending a link Viktor’s way could only further it. “Yeah,” he said, “I think so.”

Phichit watched Yuuri smile, watched him blush just barely, and mused silently that this whole thing would probably be much easier than he expected. Maybe Yuuri didn’t even need a nudge. Maybe he was already there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed my tumblr to katsudon-vitya lmao,,, it's not supposed to be viktor's tumblr i'm just an idiot 
> 
> official viktor nikiforov spotify playlist: https://play.spotify.com/user/kierskolth/playlist/37pa5J0Uy1Dcw3dypXRFTJ


	12. Scandal!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i said this on my tumblr before but i'm so so angry at myself for what i did to jj.i shit all over his character for the sake of plot convenience and that was something i absolutely should not have done... he gets a redemption arc, idk if that makes up for it but jj fans, i'm so so sorry for what i did 2 his character
> 
> on a happier note, a. chris' wattpad is now real! it's egg-plant-emoji (bc his real name is apparently too long... shhhh) b. the fanart referenced in this chap is from a-happy-little-place on tumblr! since u presented it in a meta way i thought i'd respond in kind lmao <3
> 
> thanks so so much to everyone who's left kudos/bookmarked/commented/rec'ed this/drawn fanart i love all of u and it means so much to me <3333

**welcome to the madness by xX_YuriKat_Xx**

Chapter 3: child i will hurt you

An: thanks chris 4 helpin me and givin me the chapter title also!! Beka im sorry 4 killing u so you didn’t actually die u had a spacesuit on and now ur in the story again!!!! :3 If ur a hater FUK OFF don’t read it t hen! ok heres the story now

I woke up in the morning and there was no sun because it’s an asteroid but that meant it was a nice morning because I like darkness. Someone is knocking at my door to the room I’m  in and I get up and go to the door to see who… it’s Chris and he has some more pirozkhi so I take it and eat it. He also has a thing in a box which he hands it to me.

“This is a weapon” he says and I opened the box and its a black knife and the handle has tiger stripes on it. there are also a ltos of buttons and wires on it and around it going up to the blade “It’s electric so if you stab someone they will be electrocute!” Wow that’s the coolest thing ever and I wish Beka was here to see it because it’s so cool… I wish I didin’t push him out the spaceship and into space. suddenly Chris got a message on his hologram phone that a customer is downstairs at the bar so he goes down. I put the knife in my belt and then I put on black jeans and a black hoodie with cat spots and stripes all over it that Chris put on the bed and I followed him downstairs to the bar gripping the knife incase it’s the neko asylum people.

When I get down there I see there’s a crowd of people at the bar but through it is Chris going up and talking to someone who looks familiar and I push through everyone to see who it is. It’s… BEKA!!!!!  yay I’m so glad hes not dead I run and hug him really tight and say “i’m so sorry I tied to kill you it was a big mis understanding!” and Beka hugs me back and says

“Its ok Yura I understand and were still friends!” he says happily back to me. WE hug some more and then Beka tells us how he escaped space. “The spacesuits has a jetpack on it so I flew and followed the ship. and now Im here! :D”

“wow beka u are so cool!”

“I know but you know what’s even cooler is my new SPACE MOTORCYCLE I BOUGHT (AN: Beka this is ur apology present youre welomce!)

woah that’s so neat I wish I had a space motorcycle too but Beka will et me ride his. “Ok now that we’ve had reunions let’s go find Yura’s grandfather now! Beka you can ride the motorcycle into the spacecship and park it there so we can all go together.” says Chris. So we all head out of the bar and Chris tells a robot to be the bartender while we go. We went to the spaceship and get into it and Beka flies his motorcycle into tit hrough the hatch, he was right it is so cool but he is still cooler because he is my bestfriend. My ears twitch with excitedly when we lift off away from the asteroid and towards planet Afselon where I am from and my grandfather lives. Everyone there is a neko person like me an d the government runs the asylum with the other neko planet governments Liriniy and Nunnwuld. The Kiperium reagion which is where it is is very far away so there is a long time before we will get there but I don’t mind because I can spend it with my awesome friends Beka and Chris, even though Chris is not a neko like all my other friends ever he is still cool beacause I am not racist to humans like some people.

Suddenly there is a banging noise on the hull of the ship when we have been flying for about an hour. I take out my knife and turn it on and electricity goes up the blade, _bzzzzzzzzz_. I can feel how powerful it is in my hand and I am excited to stab it into someone, I hope it’s the neko asylum people even though I shouldn’t because I want to kill them. Beka gets out a gun and so does Chris and goes to see what it is. It’s…

NEKO ASYLUM POLICE!!! I feel the powerful thrill murder feeling and then the airlock opens and they start boarding the ship with guns out to capture me back, but i won’t let them >:3 One of them runs up to me but I shove the knife into his heart and it is so sharp, and the electricity current goes through his blood and he shakes aggressively with electrocution  and then falls on the floor and dies. Wow that was fun! Suddenly I get a thought and it is this: my grandaftehr,, he doesn’t like it when I kill people like when I killed my parents…

*flashback* *place: outside my house when i’m getting arrested* The asylum police were dragging me away in hand cuffs and I was trying to kill them all with my clasw and teeth but I couldn’t and I was yelling to my grandfather also “NO please tell them not to do this! You don’t understand I had to do it because my parents are horrible people and I’m can’t help it PLEASE!

But grandfather said loudly with anger “No Yurockha, you will goto jail and think about what you did even though your parents are horrible and awful to  you and don’t want you to be their son you can’t kill them. However when you are done with jail please come back and visit me because I love you very much Yurochka you are my favorite grandson, not Sasha because he is lame and sucks.” *flashback over*

Oh no grandfather is still disappointed in me because I’m still insane, but I can’t help it it’s just the way I am but also if he doesn’t love me i will cry for a long time. all the neko asylum people are dead now and we fly off and start getting closer to Kiperium region where Afselon is. Beka comes up to me and says “Yura what is wrong?”

“My grandfather will not want me to come back because I still kill people all the time and I love murder but also him, what should I do please help?” I respond back sadly.

Beka replies “Just don’t tell him and he won’t be disappointed in you!”

I say “But then… he will know anyways and I lied to him so it’s evenmore bad!” and I start crying.

Beka hugs me and says with comfot “It’s ok Yura even if grandfather doesn’t love you any more I will always be here for you because you are my #1 favorite person ever.

Oh ok” that makes me feel happier and I hug beka more and then suddenly Chris says

“we have arrived”

so the ramp you go up on to get into the ship goes down on the ground in front of my grandfather’s house. I come out of the ship and onto the ground shyly, the ground is black because there was a nuclear apocalypse. I go up and knocked on the door and I hear noise then it opens, it was…

                                                                                 …my Grandfather!                                  

**700 reads, 299 votes**

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

a stellar chappie as always m’friend! i luvv yuri’s internal struggle <3 keep it up!

 

**otabek-s_wattpad_account**

Thanks for bringing me back to life. I’m sure my fictional self appreciates the gesture.

            **xX_YuriKat_Xx**

youre welcome beka anything f4 my best friend!!!! :3

            **otabek-s_wattpad_account**

:3

 

**viten-kachow**

is that crystal castles. what the fuck

            **e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

shhh

 

**I-AM-YOUR-KING**

Hey, I know you blocked me and all so I’m going to say this here: I’m sorry for saying kys and all that other shit. I guess I assumed that that kind of edgy humor was acceptable everywhere, which it isn’t, and I mean when Viktor Nikiforov himself tells you to fuck off you know you’re doing something wrong. Anyways this is me apologizing for that. If you unblock me we can talk.

* * *

**winnerwinnerson**

Yuri is a pretty common Russian name guys, what if the reason vitya found w2tm is because yuri kat’s his brother or cousin or someone who knows him in real life

 

**fuck-yeah-grand-prix**

Vitya wouldn’t backstab one of his friends/relatives like that

 

**winnerwinnerson**

I think it’s still worth asking tho, we could find out a little more about him if I’m right

 

**x-nwah-x**

yeah some1 do this, make a wattpad and ask him

_#yurikat #viktor nikiforov #ipa #ice prince alliance_

_600 notes_

* * *

Viktor remained very much a part of the Yuri Plisetsky Protection Squad. It seemed as though Yuri was fine for the moment, and that the Ice Prince Alliance had felt out where the boundaries were with their comments, but the chat still saw action ever so often, mostly from Otabek. (Chris seemed, for whatever reason, to have recently dropped off the face of the earth.)  Now was one of those times. Out of the corner of his eye, Viktor saw the notification appear on his phone, and fell back from a loose pirouette onto his bed. Unwilling to be still for the moment, he rolled his legs into air and kicked his shins loosely as he read the text.

**_ok i am your king said he is sorry for saying rude things_ **

**_Really?_ **

**_yeah he said he was 2 edgy and he has to stop being edgy now_ **

Well _there_ was a development. Not an entirely shocking one, though—Viktor knew that people often did and said things that were horribly out-of-character for them in hindsight, and later regretted their actions. Maybe this was one of those instances, and I-AM-YOUR-KING hadn’t realized the weight behind their words until now. An overdose of edge could lead someone to make confusing and illogical decisions. It had happened to Viktor, even—there was a Panic! at the Disco phase back in 2014… he shuddered to remember.

(Granted, he still liked Panic! at the Disco quite a lot, but it wasn’t—it wasn’t 2014. 2014 was something _else_.)

**Hey that’s great~!**

_yeah it is! i’m glad he’s owning up 2 it finally_

_edgy internet humor pisses me off it’s good he’s getting out of that_

**Oh hey Chris!**

**We haven’t talked in a while where have you been~ (o´** **▽** **`o)** **ﾉ**

_yeah sorry abt that_

_i got morrowind_

**?**

_third elder scrolls game_

_every time i try to do something else i end up playing it_

As valid a reason as any, Viktor thought. Something similar had happened when he’d first gotten Animal Crossing.

_anyways i saw king’s comment on w2tm he sounded sincere_

**_Do we forgive him?_ **

_i mean that’s yuri’s decision_

**_i did isaid it was ok_ **

**_Aren’t you angry though?_ **

**_you are supposed to forgive ppl when they say sorry that’s the rules_ **

**_Bullshit. Nobody is obligated to forgive anyone._ **

_well I agree but he can’t,,,,,,, take it back,,,,,,,,,,_

_besides we’ve got other cats 2 whip_

**_NO WTF!!! >:((((( DON’T WHIP CATS YOU MONSTER_ **

**_ANYONE WHO HURTS CATS IS EVIL FUCK YOU_ **

_umm_

[ _https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:French_idioms_ ](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:French_idioms)

_its in there somewhere_

_we have other things to worry about. is what i mean._

_i have a cat i love cats theyre all precious babies_

**_Wait, what do we have to worry about?_ **

_long story short there are people online who want to ascc yuri about viktor_

_m worried this could open the door 2 more harassment n shit_

**_who is viktor???? i know a guy named that he works a t comic store is that him??????_ **

…Viktor realized then that he’d never told Yuri exactly who he was. But given the situation, it didn’t seem a fact he needed to remedy.

_uh_

_just ignore any1 who asccs k?_

**_WHO IS VIKTOR PLEASE SAY WHO IS VIKTOR????? >:(_ **

_just some guy_

_maybe stay off wattpad 4 a while pls_

**_Yeah; if you want to read anything you can use mine._ **

**_ok i will do that then :3_ **

_great, problem solved._

_im gonna go play morrowind again_

_crassius curio is calling_

Viktor stood up and shook out his legs, intending to resume his pirouettes. He wasn’t worried—there was nothing Yuri could say that would be damaging; the kid didn’t even know who he was. As Chris had said earlier, there were other cats to whip. Like Chapter 9 of “Love!!! on Ice”, which he’d started three days ago but never finished.

He felt the rough slide of carpet under his laced socks as he spun around his bed. There was no real reason for the pirouettes—he just felt like it, like it went against every existing law of men and nature for him to stay static. Releasing pent-up energy, he supposed. The carpet began to irritate the soles of his feet, so he switched to low, sloppy toe loops around the perimeter of his room—and just as he passed the doorway—

Yakov’s heavy fist rattled the door in its frame with two quick knocks. “Vitya!” he called.

Viktor stopped. “Yeah?”

“Here,” said Yakov gruffly. He heard a grunt through the wood, and then the soft slide of some smooth metallic material on the fiber loops of the carpet, and there was his laptop coming under the door. Viktor grinned and bent to retrieve it.

“Thanks,” he chirped gratefully. Yakov said nothing, solid footfalls receding down the stairs.

He was itching to begin Chapter 9—it was by far the sauciest thing his Wattpad-addled mind could conceive—but the appearance of a Tumblr notification stopped him. Someone had mentioned him in a post, it seemed, claiming they had a “gift.” Viktor tapped it excitedly—

—and holy shit someone had drawn him [fanart.](https://katsudon-vitya.tumblr.com/post/158338895838/a-happy-little-place-a-little-gift-for)

There was tons of art of him on the Internet already. But the artistic masterpieces before his eyes didn’t depict Viktor Nikiforov, as many had done before; there, expertly drawn and cleanly colored, were the five most beautiful visual representations of Vitaly (Middle Name Unknown) Nikulichev that probably would ever exist. It was so damn _fulfilling_ , almost as much so as winning gold at Junior Worlds, that someone out there liked his silly little wish-fulfillment fanfiction enough to draw his OC in every single outfit he’d worn.

Viktor scanned the paragraph below the pictures. The artist mentioned that they’d made Vitaly look a little too much like Viktor himself, but that was okay, apparently, because both of them were pretty. Viktor smiled at that, agreeing in his grateful response that yes, both of them were. He’d look even better, he thought, as Vitaly, wearing all those outfits Viktor wished he owned.

He opened his laptop up and perched it on his lap, hoping his lovely fan-artist would be excited to read this chapter as he was to write it, and blushed brightly. For whatever reason it stuck with him that he was _pretty._ Someone, probably more than one person, thought he was _pretty._

“ _I’m pretty,”_ he whispered. And he picked up where he left off.

* * *

**Love!!! on Ice by katsudon-vitya**

**Chapter 9: Scandal!!!**

AN: Sorry this took so long (m;_ _)m! I was grounded and couldn’t use my computer but now I got it back! I hope you enjoy this chapter because I loved writing it~

As I walked into school I heard voices all around me saying a bunch of things. “Vitaly is it true that you kissed Yuuri Katsuki? Are you two dating?” everyone is saying and they press close to me, taking out their phones and taking pictures. I can barely get through because so many people are blocking the way. But then I see a hand through all the bodies so I grab it and it pulls me through to safety. It’s Chris, wearing a red dress shirt and khakis, and he has a worried look on his face.

“Vitaly quick! Come to the bathroom with me” he says and I blush.

“Uh Chris I’m flattered but I’m dating Yuuri now…”

“Oh so it’s true?” he says and winks, and keeps pulling me along. Eventually we reach the bathroom and he pulls me inside and closes the door.

I look in the mirror and I’m so out of breath from being dragged along and my hair is hanging around my face loosely. Today I’m wearing a sweater with lots of different colored flowers on the front and some dark blue jeans, and cream lacy socks with black and gold leather combat boots. I got my nails French manicured yesterday (I hope Yuuri likes it~) so they are strong and shiny with a white bar at the top. My hair is braided up (AN: msg me if you want to see how because I can’t describe it but I have pics~) and is tucked under a red wool beanie. I also have on berry-flavor lipgloss. “What did you want to talk about?” I ask Chris confusedly.

“I wanted to know if you were really dating Yuuri of course~ But since you said you were, now I don’t have anything to ask!” he replies back. He seems so happy for me ╰(*´︶`*)╯Almost as happy as I feel now that the hottest guy in the world is dating me! “Also, can I tell Minami and Lukas?”

“Yeah, but not anyone else, I don’t want to feed the rumor mill, haha!” I say.

Chris pats me on the back. “Okay, we should go to homeroom now” he states “since it’s almost 8!” So I follow him out the door and down the hall to homeroom. When we get inside I sit down between him and Minami.

“Are you really dating Yuuri now?” he asks, and I nod and say I am. Minami tells me that’s great and starts to get out his homework to do in homeroom. Then the bell rings and Mrs. Green comes in, so we stand up and greet her and do the pledge of allegiance which I know now and sit down.

“Good morning class!” says Mrs. Green cheerily. “You can all start working now! Vitaly, could you come up to my desk please?” Oh no, I hope I’m not in trouble! I get out of my seat and walk up to Mrs. Green’s desk worriedly.

When I get to the desk, Mrs. Green looks excited. “So, Vitaly, I know I haven’t said this before but I actually like figure skating alot and I was wondering, is it true?”

“Is what true?” I ask her, even though I know what she’s talking about.

“Are you and Yuuri Katsuki _romantically involved_?”

Ugh! ☆ｏ(＞＜；)○  Why can’t everyone just let me have privacy? Why does it matter if I’m dating Yuuri or not??? Instead of being respectful like I should I whisper “That’s none of your business!” angrily so that the rest of the class won’t hear.

Mrs. Green frowns. “It was just a question!” I feel a little bad but I know Yuuri would want me to stand up for myself. “Anyway” she says “the principal wants you.”

I walk out of the classroom wondering what the principal wants me for. I hope it isn’t to ask me if I’m dating Yuuri. I would probably grab the desk and flip it over like this (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ if that was what it was. When I walk through the glass office doors the principal is standing there. I walk up to him.

“Hello Mr. Nikulichev” he says curtly. “You aren’t in trouble, I just wanted to tell you there’s a news crew outside that wants to interview you about something. You’re an athlete, right?” I nod. “That’s probably what it is, then.”

!!!!!! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ !!!!!

I don’t actually flip the table over but I feel like it because the news crew obviously just wants to ask me about Yuuri and not my skating. If it was my skating that would be okay, like if I broke a world record or something, but they don’t really care about me, just gossip. I’m furious and it feels like someone set me on fire. I want to be known for winning medals and being the first person to ever land a quad axel in competition and setting a world record or something, not for  being “that kid who’s dating Yuuri Katsuki!” I growl with irritation and stomp outside to the parking lot to yell at the news.

There are three news people there in front of a truck that says CNN on it. Ugh, stupid bakas, I want to punch them all in their stupid smug faces but that would get me in trouble so I don’t.  One of them walks up to me and shoves his microphone in my face. “So Vitaly Nikiulichev, we heard you were dating Yuuri Katsuki, is this true?” he asks aggressively.

“Please leave me alone!” I mumble angrily

“It’s a yes or no question!”

“Why do _you_ care!” I yell suddenly. “I-I should be in school right now getting an education but because of you I’m out here answering stupid questions!”

“Are you or aren’t you?” asks the CNN guy getting up in my face. His breath smells bad, ew.

I shove back away from him and towards the school. “YES! FINE! I’M DATING YUURI FRICKING KATSUKI!” I scream.

“Well why didn’t you just say so?” asks the guy. I’m fuming at this point so I start yelling even louder.

“BECAUSE ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS STUPID GOSSIP AND CRAP AND NOT ABOUT ME! AND I DON’T WANT EVERYONE TO THINK THAT ALL I AM IS THE BOY DATING YUURI! I’M A GOOD SKATER TOO BUT NOBODY EVER ASKS ME ABOUT _THAT!_ ” The other CNN people are following me with the cameras as I run away back to the school.

“Well we never said you weren’t a good skater…” says the interviewer but I’m already gone inside the school again. I walk back to homeroom furiously, but by the time I get back the bell is ringing so I have to go to Chemistry.  I open my locker and get my books and start to walk there, but Chris and Minami catch up to me.

“Where were you?” asks Chris concernedly.

“CNN wanted to interview me about Yuuri. It makes me mad that nobody’s ever cared about me before but now that I’m dating Yuuri they want to ask me about that and nothing else! I feel like people won’t care about my skating.” I reply angrily. Chris puts his hand on my shoulder and says he’s sorry for me, and then he goes to his next class which is Literature. I head to Chemistry with Minami.

When I get there I can’t even get in the door because some people are blocking it, asking me about Yuuri of course and saying I wasn’t good enough for him and that I should let him find someone better. I try to push them apart so I can go inside, but everybody just stares and nobody comes and helps me through so I can’t get in. I scream at them to stop but they keep yelling and asking questions and I can’t take it anymore so I take off running down the hall and into the bathroom. I start crying really hard and my chest and face are hot and shaking. I sit in the corner and keep crying when the bell rings, but I don’t care because there’s no point being in class. The teacher would probably ask me about Yuuri and I would just keep crying. What do I do? I’m so sad and angry at everyone (ಥ﹏ಥ) (ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ

I decide, enough is enough, I’m going to just leave now. I get out of the corner and start running down the hall crying. My footsteps echo in the hall which is empty. Eventually I get to the front door and nobody notices me so I just run out onto the parking lot…

…AND THE NEWS PEOPLE ARE STILL. THERE. ୧((#Φ益Φ#))୨ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

(凸ಠ益ಠ)凸

I run through them but they are filming me. “Vitaly, so why were you so angry earlier, are you having problems in your relationship?” one asks holding up a microphone.

I am so furious and sad right now that I don’t know what to do so I just scream “SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU’RE ALMOST MAKING ME WISH I WASN’T DATING HIM WITH ALL THIS SHIT!” All the reporters look stunned as I run away quickly.

I text Yuuri and tell him to come pick me up and say that I’m sick. He drives up in a few minutes and I get into his car, luckily I’m not crying anymore. “Hey,” says Yuuri in a soft, comforting tone “You don’t look okay, want me to kiss it better~?”

I nod, mmm that sounds nice~ Yuuri leans over and brings his lips to mine and we kiss for a few seconds. He’s so warm and strong, and I love him so much~ “Your lipgloss tastes so good Vitya” he whispers.

“Thanks, it’s berry flavor, I got it at Kmart”

We sit together hugging for a while, and I never want to let go of Yuuri. I want to spend the rest of my life getting to do things like this, hugging him and kissing him and knowing that he loves me as much as I love him. Eventually he pulls me over into his lap and we start kissing again, and he undoes my braided hair and runs his fingers through it like he loves doing. Then we drive out to McDonalds’ and get a cheeseburger for each of us.

While we’re sitting at the McDonald’s booth eating our food Yuuri sees something on his phone and looks at it. Suddenly I watch his expression change from that of happy food-eating to shock and looking upset.

“What’s wrong Yuuri-chan?” I ask, but he doesn’t respond. His mouth gets wide with horror. Then slowly he turns the phone screen towards me.

…It’s footage from the CNN people earlier, when I was leaving school, but they cut it out in the middle of my sentence so instead of saying “You’re almost making me wish I wasn’t dating him” it just says “wish I wasn’t dating him” over and over and shows me crying. Oh no they DIDN’T ٩(╬ʘ益ʘ╬)۶  I open my mouth and start to say what the bakas from CNN did but Yuuri says something before I can.

“Viktor… how could you???”

**220 reads, 53 votes**

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

uh dude

                  

**vik-yuuri-girl-xx**

AAAAH IT’S SO DRAMATIC~~~~~ I LUV DRAMA YAOIS IT’S SO GOOD AND THE PART WHERE THEY KISSED WAS SO HAWT!!!!! also r u a boy because if uu are THAT’S SO HAWTTT THAT U WRITE YAOI XDDDD aaahhh i’m fangirling over u now haha~~~

            **katsudon-vitya**

…What?

 

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

bud. friend. pls… look @ this

 

**number1Phituuri-trash**

OHMYGOSH VITALY NO…. if they break up Im gonna cryyyyyy

 

**xCOLORxDEVOIDx**

So it is Viktor then…

 

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

MY BUDDY. MY GUY. MON AMI. PLS… PROOFREAD?

 

**dorbeez-official**

bro why’s it randomly viktor @ the end

 

**PHICHITPHICHITPHICHITPHICHIT**

ANDERSN COOPER 360 SPECIAL TONIHGT:  D O E S  V I T A L Y  N I K U L I C H E V  I S  G A Y ??????

* * *

“Oh man,” said Mila, shaking her head in amusement, “oh, Minami. You’ve served us well.”

Georgi nodded in agreement. “Wish our boy got some more dialogue, though.”

“Yeah, I’m getting a little fond of the kid, to be honest—wait—holy _shit—_ “

* * *

Phichit thought: _I might, at some point, see something as funny as this, but never anything funnier._ Because, as someone else in the opposite hemisphere had recently expressed, _holy shit._

It seemed that that grand Viktuuri pioneer, that enterprising _king_ of the written word, katsudon-vitya, had finally slipped up. Had finally forgotten the thin skin of “Vitaly Nikulichev” they’d stretched over Viktor Nikiforov, and written _Viktor_ instead of _Vitaly_ . It was only once, a parting gift at the end of a bountiful chapter, but it topped the thing off with such flair that it seemed the whole of Chapter 9—fittingly titled “Scandal!!!”—had been written specifically to envelop that moment. And the more he thought about it, the more it was _killing him._

Phichit was practically doubled over, silently shaking. He was beyond laughter now. This was above even _how do I rotate text in MS Paint_ memes, or that one “important videos” playlist on Youtube. This was something elevated over the plane of mortal humor and into the fabric of the space-time continuum—cosmically condoned comedy gold.

“You… alright there?”

Oh. Yuuri was standing over him, looking curious.

He knew there was no way he would be able to form any sort of coherent sound at the moment, so he simply handed the phone to Yuuri with a trembling hand, thumb indicating the _Viktor_ …

…and it was the only time he’d ever seen Yuuri laugh until he cried.

* * *

_VIKTOR YOUT PUT VIKTOR BY ACCIDENT_

**what?**

_YOU PUT VIKTOR GO BACK AND CHANGE IT IT’S AT THE END VIT QUICC_

**…In Love on Ice…**

_YES GOGOGO CHANGE IT_

**OH NO CRAP NO**

**CHRIS**

**YUURI READS IT**

_wHAT????????????_

**LONG STORY**

_OH DUDE_

_YOURE FUCCED_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chap might be a while since i'll be in london all next week, but not as long as this one took 
> 
> ...i was playing morrowind, sorry


	13. Viktor Nikiforov fucking dies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys-- I'm so so incredibly sorry about the ridiculous amount of time it took to get this updated. i just wasn't in a writing mood and finals were coming up and stuff. won't happen again, hopefully. i'll try to keep updates within two weeks of each other from now on!
> 
> thanks to everyone who's stuck with this dumb fic! i love all of you <3
> 
> (also idk why they're only announcing the movie now? it already came out, it's called love on ice???)

The apocalypse did not come on the first of January 2000, or the 21st of December 2012. There was no blood moon to mark its arrival, nor any resurrection of the dead, or ascension of souls. But it did come eventually— a week before the advent of the Senior Grand Prix of Figure Skating. Its method, while definitely counting as grand divine judgement, was the delivery of a mere text. Quiet, unassuming. People walked still on the streets, bought still from the shops, as if they had no idea the world had ended. As T.S. Eliot had said— not with a bang, but with a whimper.

The whimper, in this case, being Viktor’s.

He had locked himself in his room, the lights off, the sunset bloated and purple-red through the open window. There were indeed whimpers, occasionally, muffled by the thick duvet and pillows of his bed. These were the only signs, save for layers of thin, caked-on tears, of the XK-class extinction event that had occurred.

A wave of memory hit him— His hands curled crazed into the duvet—

_The Love on Ice author accidentally called Vitaly Viktor in the latest chapter you have to read it_

**Haha~**

He had been just about to change the name. But now that Yuuri knew— it would’ve seemed too suspicious, he’d thought, so he left it— and yet the situation had been salvageable! Completely so, because Yuuri still hadn’t known! But Viktor was such a _useless moron_ that he couldn’t even work with those odds— He had been talking to Chris too, about the slip-up, and what he’d meant for his Swiss friend had gone by some cruel twist of fate to Yuuri instead—

**I can’t believe I did that~!**

**Wait oh oops my last text was for somebody else**

_I was a little confused for a second lol_

**Haha it kind of sounded like I wrote it~**

That exchange alone had been enough to make Viktor want to curl up and die— but the pain didn’t stop there. It was just as Chris had said. He was fucced.

_Tbh, you do have a similar writing style_

**Lol~**

_I_ _bet the author’s been thinking of you the whole time but forgot to write Vitaly by accident_

_Why don’t they just make it straight Viktuuri?_

_Well- word choice. As straight as Viktuuri gets lol, you know what I mean_

**Lol~~**

And then, after all that horrifying awkwardness, after a full minute of biting his cheeks so hard they bled, after _two LOL-plus-tilde-s in a row_ , Viktor destroyed himself. He still didn’t know what had possessed him to do it— human psychology was such a wonder, no?

**If it was Viktuuri would you still read it?**

If the multiverse theory was true, somewhere out there was an alternate dimension where Viktor was a little bit smarter, had had the presence of mind not to type that sentence out and send it; but he had done so in this one, and here he goddamned was. Reliving, forcibly, by way of memory, every last one of the final moments of his natural life (in sequential order for plot convenience.) He started to sob again into his sheets when he remembered how long Yuuri had waited to respond, remembered the conversation that had followed.

_Honestly I’m… genuinely interested in the plot at this point I think so your answer is yes_

**Same here haha~**

_I hope it all turns out alright for you/Vitaly and me_

**Oh it will** **☆⌒** **(** **ゝ。** **∂)**

**I hope at least, not that I would know lol~**

_With all the faces and tildes I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if you were secretly writing it the whole time! (_ _๑_ _˃_ _́_ _ꇴ_ _˂_ _̀_ _๑_ _)_  

**Well…**

**You’re not wrong!!! (** **＾** **▽** **＾** **)**

And to that— to _that_ Yuuri had said:

_oh_

And nothing else. And then the weight of what Viktor had just done had hit him in full, and he had crumpled up like an empty bag of Babkiny onto his bed, where he remained now. Ever so often his thoughts played around replying, but what did he say to an _oh?_ That could mean anything. Maybe shock, maybe confusion, maybe disgust. Viktor couldn’t think of anything that would address all those possibilities at once, or do anything otherwise at all to resolve the situation. There were no words to be said which would have any greater usefulness than hiding under a desk during a nuclear attack.

Makkachin, sensing his mood, clambered onto the bed with him and curled up next to his chest. Viktor lay a weary hand on the poodle’s belly, but it did little good. For the first time in years, it seemed even Makkachin couldn’t cheer him up.

* * *

...Oh.

_Oh._

Yuuri stared vaguely at his phone. It felt as though he should be shocked— that would certainly be a logical response to the revelation he’d just been given— but somehow he was barely even surprised. Some part of him had known all along, or had at least been strongly hoping, that “Love!!! On Ice”’s author was Viktor. And now he knew for sure.

He glanced over at Phichit. His ever-energetic roommate was tapping away at his Google-Drive-Viktuuri fanfiction, in the same cross-legged position he’d been in for hours. He would occasionally stop to change the song playing on his phone, but other than that his mind was obsessively focused on his task, it seemed. Yuuri sometimes wished he had Phichit’s ability to concentrate.

Yuuri sensed it would take him a while to properly process the information he’d just received. Maybe talking to Phichit would help? He leaned over and tapped a close-clipped nail on his friend’s headphones. Phichit paused his song and turned to Yuuri, raising his fingers in waiting above the keyboard.

“Are you… still working on it?” asked Yuuri, even though there was nothing else Phichit would reasonably be working on.

“Oh yeah. It’s getting _good._ I mean— It’s not long, I just think you should know; I’m only about done with the first chapter. I’ve been doing research, mostly. Plus I write slow. But yeah. I think you’re gonna like it. Have I told you the plot?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri said. “Didn’t you rip it off that Love on Ice movie?”

“Uhm,” mumbled Phichit, “I may, or may not, have done that, yes.”

“Then how will it be _good_?”

Phichit laughed in mock offense and punched Yuuri’s arm. “Just trust me, friend-o. You’re gonna _love_ it!”

That drew a smile from Yuuri. He believed Phichit, of course; the fic would be excellent. But something he’d said earlier— “What were you researching?” Yuuri asked, curious. It obviously wouldn’t be figure skating.

Phichit closed his eyes slowly, considering. As if he’d said something he shouldn’t have. Then— he closed the laptop’s lid. “Okay,” he started. “This might sound a little weird. Actually— very weird. But what I’ve been looking up— a little bit into Viktor’s past and such, just who he is as a person— Yuuri— I think he might—”

“—have written ‘Love!!! On Ice’?” interjected Yuuri. He wondered how long Phichit had known.

“What? No, no!” Phichit waved his hands about. “No, but Yuuri, I really think he might have a crush on you.”

Yuuri bit his bottom lip. “I know.”

“You— what?”

“He— didn’t tell me that, exactly, but he did say that he. Uhm. He’s been writing it. So unless it’s an ironic thing I think he’s...”

Phichit’s mouth fell slack. No clarification was needed.

“ _You’re shitting me,”_ he said.

Yuuri said nothing.

“Oh my God,” muttered Phichit. And then louder— “Oh my _God._ ”

“I don’t know why he told me, but it was a few minutes ago—”

“What did you say back?”

“I just said _oh;_ I couldn’t think of anything else—”

Phichit grabbed at Yuuri’s phone. “You need to give him more than that!” he said firmly. “He’s probably freaking out right now! He just confessed something _huge_ and you know how he _feels_ about you, Yuuri—

Yuuri pulled his phone away from Phichit’s grasp. “Give me a minute,” he protested. “I mean— Phichit, if what you said earlier is true then I think he might be in _love_ with me. I— I want to figure out how I feel about all this. ”

Phichit retreated again to his side of the couch. He took in the particular shade of the look on Yuuri’s face, the blush, the bite of his lip, and knew exactly what feeling Yuuri was trying to figure out.

* * *

The buzz of his phone sent a wave of cold sweat across Viktor’s body. He raised his face tentatively from his covers. The beam of light from the screen was bright and clear in the dying light of the evening, a blue-white ray of hope from heaven itself that cast a soft glow over the darkened ceiling. He almost didn’t want to check the message, for he knew who it was from, but some optimistic force drew his pale and trembling fingers to the home button.

_Vitya?_ it read. Just the one word— but Yuuri had never called him Vitya before.

Viktor responded—an anxious **yes?**

Outside, the last of the sun sank below the brick tops of the apartments across the street, and he was left in total darkness.

_It’s ok_

With a harsh tremble of his lip, Viktor realized he was crying again.

**I’m so so sorry Yuuri**

_It’s okay_

_I used to write fanfiction too, I understand_

**Oh what about?**

_Free! Iwatobi Swim Club, it’s an anime_

**I LOVE THAT SHOW~!! I ship Mako and Haru so hardddd**

_Well you shouldn’t read my fic then, haha_

**Is it RinHaru**

_Yup_

**(** **눈** **_** **눈** **)**

_Lol_

_So can I ask you something?_

**Anything**

_This is personal so if you don’t want to answer you don’t have to but are you in love with me?_

_I don’t mind if you are_

**I don’t know**

**I like you a lot though which is why I wrote the fic**

**It was just me writing down my fantasies (⁄ -⁄_ ⁄- *⁄)**

_You don’t have to be embarrassed_

_I like you a lot too (*´_ _▽_ _`*)_

Viktor fainted.

* * *

When he came to, his torso was dangling off the edge of his bed, his hair brushing the floor. The fact that he had just literally fainted over one text from Yuuri Katsuki was of no concern to him. He had long accepted that the sway the older skater had over his thoughts and actions. But of real concern was the blood rushing fast to his head, building beating pressure under his skin. Makkachin, clearly concerned, was nudging his arm.

With arms outstretched above his head, Viktor grabbed the rough loops of the carpet and pulled. His legs slid off the bed and thumped onto the floor with the rest of his body. There was barely enough waxing moonlight outside to see around, and with the bed now blocking his view, it took Viktor a moment to get his bearings. His head buzzed—both with dizziness and excitement. _I like you a lot,_ Yuuri had said. Did he mean—

Trying to sit up, Viktor smashed his nose against the wooden frame of his bed.

He fell onto his back and clutched at his nose. It wasn’t bleeding, but the throbbing ache was disorienting. Makkachin appeared again at his side, and Viktor looped his arms around the poodle’s soft belly for support. With shaky effort, he pushed off of Makkachin’s back and onto his feet. His legs felt weak, barely able to stand, but the hard friction of the carpet was enough for him to clamber back up into bed.

Viktor shuffled under the covers and wrapped his arms around himself, amplifying the warmth of his duvet. He wouldn’t respond to Yuuri yet—he knew himself. If he did, no matter what he said, it would be so saturated with awkward desperation that it would leak from Yuuri’s phone and drown him. If there was one thing Viktor couldn’t do for shit, it was communicate.

No, he would wait for tomorrow. No matter how much he wanted to know whether Yuuri just liked him or, like, _like_ liked him, or how much he wanted to confess his undying maybe-love and wind up making out in a bathroom during the GPF gala—

He knew it would be a long time before tomorrow came—as if he’d be able to sleep tonight!—but he could wait.

* * *

Yuuri worried that he’d offended Viktor somehow. His last text remained unanswered, as it had been for several hours. It wasn’t as though anything he’d said was particularly shocking, just that he—enjoyed Viktor as a friend? Reciprocated his almost-definitely-romantic feelings? Even after all the thought he’d given it, Yuuri was still confused about what he felt for Viktor. But Viktor probably was too, which might be the reason for his lack of a response. The message Yuuri had sent was really incredibly vague without the context of being Yuuri and thinking his thoughts.

—Or maybe it wasn’t that vague, considering the conversation they’d been having had revolved around romantic self-insert fanfiction, and when Viktor had said the same thing before the meaning had been incredibly obvious. This brought Yuuri back to where he had started: had he offended Viktor? There was nowhere his reasoning could take him now that he hadn’t been before in the past few hours. His painful, cyclical worrying had run through and over every possibility, though he knew it accomplished nothing. Wait and worry, that was all he could do. Wait and worry.

He stared anxiously at the disgusting popcorn pattern of his ceiling, at the sheet in the corner that had been left up from his false girlfriend confession video all those ages ago, at the dartboard Phichit had taped printed-out memes to.

His phone buzzed. Yuuri grabbed it eagerly—had Viktor finally replied? He swiped up so quickly that his fingernail scratched the screen, but no, it was only Phichit, with a Google Docs link. He tapped it…

* * *

**Cold as Ice: A Viktuuri fanfiction (I can’t think of a better title please help)**

_Chapter 1_ **:** _Viktor Nikiforov fucking dies_

_AN: So this is set in a role reversal-esque AU based really loosely off this one Hallmark movie about skating I saw once, where Yuuri is 23 and Viktor Nikiforov is 27 and he’s basically as famous as Yuuri is now, and Yuuri is less famous and also obsessed with him. Also Vitaly Nikulichev from Love!!! on Ice (<https://www.wattpad.com/376723851-love-on-ice-chapter-1-detroit> if i forgot to tell u about it for some reason) is Yuuri’s ex, and this takes place in the same universe as that masterwork. I’m so so sorry for making u guys read this… but also not…_

My name is Viktor Nikiforov, and I have a secret. I’m in love with Yuuri Katsuki.

It all started when we met at the GPF banquet.  Things got a little crazy and he stripped down to his boxers and pole danced, and then he danced with me for a while and asked me to be his coach. I fell in love instantly with his glistening 8-pack.  He’s the hottest man I’ve ever seen besides Phichit Chulanont.

A few months ago I saw a video of Yuuri skating to one of my programs. I knew he was a fan; I can tell from how similar his skating style is to mine, but the video confirmed it. He looked so hot skating that I fell in love even more. My life is a train wreck and Yuuri’s beautiful face and godlike muscular definition is the only thing in the world that I can rely on to always be there for me. For this reason I have abandoned my entire life in Russia and gotten on a plane to Japan—I’m going to be his coach, because why the fuck not, honestly, it’s not like there’s anything else I can do. I taught my little cousin to play Monopoly once, I can probably do this. 

Anyways so right now I’m in Hasetsu. I googled where Yuuri lives and I found out that his family has an inn called Yu-topia Katsuki in this town. I’m excited to finally see him again. He’s so beautiful that I might stab myself with my skates, killing me instantly, the very second his glorious orbs fall upon me.

I ask a local where Yu-topia is and they point to it. Turns out I’ve been directly in front of it the entire time. Maybe I should’ve learned how to lead Japanese before I came here but oh well. Love has no language.

Anyway so I go into Yu-topia Katsuki with my poodle, Makkachin, who I bought off a guy back home named Vitaly, and walk up to the people who I hope are Yuuri’s parents. I ask them in English if Yuuri is here, and they say that he’ll be out in a moment but that for now I should go into one of the onsens and make myself comfortable. This seems like the perfect way to introduce myself to Yuuri: completely naked. I’m excited!

I strip naked in the onsen locker room after leaving Makkachin in the lobby. I jump into the warm water and lie back in the most casually hot pose I can for when Yuuri inevitably comes in here. As I wait I practice what I’m going to say.

“Oh hello Yuuri! I didn’t see you there! I like your hot springs~”

“Hello Yuuri! I’m Viktor! You’re really hot and I’m in love with you!”

Nothing I say sounds right. I guess I’ll just have to say the first thing that comes to my mind.

Suddenly I hear a strangled squeaking noise. I turn around and it’s Yuuri! He’s standing at the edge of the onsen freaking out and staring at me. I stand up and extend my arm out to him. “Hello Yuuri! Starting today, I’ll be your new coach~!” That didn’t sound sexy enough but that’s okay. He’s staring directly at my crotch, I’m sure he gets the message.

*******

It’s been three days since I started coaching Yuuri and it turns out he doesn’t realize how stupidly in love I am with him??? He just seems to be really uncomfortable we me being here. I feel a little bit bad because I feel like I might be violating his privacy or something. I keep asking to sleep in the same bed as him but he won’t let me, which is weird, considering that the last time I saw him he was basically sex on legs.

Right now we’re sitting around eating dinner. Yuuri’s mom has made a really big bowl of something that smells delicious. I pick up my chopsticks and put some of it in my mouth. It tastes delicious!

“Hey what’s this?” I ask Yuuri.

“It’s katsudon,” he says. “Pork cutlet. It’s my favorite food. I eat it whenever I win a competition.”

“Then why are you eating it now?” I ask, because I’m a cheeky bastard.

Yuuri looks scandalized. Dammit. “I was joking~!” I clarify. If he’s mad at me I won’t get to drink from the abundant fountain of his love~

Yuuri laughs. “I knew!” he laughs.

We finish eating, and soon it’s time to go out to the rink. The rink is called Ice Castle Hasetsu and Yuuri grew up skating here, apparently. We run there together along the seaside, and Makkachin runs along with us. Before we get there, we stop and sit down together on a bench.

I look out with Yuuri over the ocean and all the waves and seagulls and shit. The view would be breathtaking except Yuuri takes my breath already any time he talks, moves, blinks, or breathes, and compared to his ethereally beautiful face and godlike body nothing and nobody is impressive to me (except for Phichit Chulanont obviously.) Yuuri is so out of my league. He’s out of the entire ocean’s league. He’s out of God’s league. He’s out of everyone’s league (except Phichit Chulanont’s obviously.) Suddenly I really want to tell him how I feel about him, which shouldn’t be hard for the kind of guy who shows up naked at someone’s house, but for some reason it is now. It’s on the tip of my tongue—

but I’m interrupted by a phone call. Who could it be from? Since I’m not in Russia, getting calls activates data roaming charges, so I told everyone before I left not to call me unless it was really important. My caller ID says the call is coming from Japan though??? I don’t know anyone here except Yuuri??? I accept the call…

“WHAT~ THE~ HELL~ ARE~ YOU~ DOING~ YOU~ MOTHERFUCKER~?!”

Oh God dammit. It’s Vitaly Nikulichev.

Vitaly Nikulichev is the biggest me wannabe that anyone has ever seen. He dresses like me, skates like me, talks like me, and even moved into my old condo with his coach. His hair even used to be the same length as mine, so I cut it off in order to look less like him. (I look like John Cameron Mitchell now, but hotter.) The first time we met was when I bought Makkachin from him—he had just moved back to Russia from somewhere, into _my old condo_ I might add, and he soon realized that the landlord didn’t allow pets, because karma’s a bitch. Since my apartment’s landlord did, I offered to take the dog, and it went downhill from there. I hate Vitaly more than I hate literally anything else in the world. He’s like an antimatter doppelganger that I’m incessantly driven to kill.

I blocked his number in my phone because he’s fucking annoying, but either his being in a different country overrides that or he bought one of those cheap prepaid phones you can get. Either way this sucks.

“Who is that?” asks Yuuri, hearing how loud Vitaly is through the phone’s speaker.

“It’s this guy—hold on—“ I reply, and then start talking to Vitaly in Russian. “What are _you_ doing? How did you get this number?”

“It doesn’t matter! What matters is that _you_ are not only _stealing my ex_ but you promised you would be _my coach_ when you retired!! ୧((#Φ益Φ#))୨!!!” yells Vitaly, with the angry emoticon being represented by a weeb-ass growling noise.

Oh, right: Vitaly and Yuuri used to date, from the time Vitaly was in high school to sometime last year. He lived in Japan for a while with Yuuri, but then they broke up. Oh, right #2: I told Vitaly I would be his coach when I retired once to get him to shut up. “Vitaly, there’s nothing you or anyone can do to get me to change my mind. Also Yuuri hasn’t been your boyfriend for a long time. Please don’t call me or talk to me ever again.”

Vitaly starts screaming something about how this isn’t the last I’ll see of him, but then I end the call and block that bitch.

“Uh,” asks Yuuri with concern, “was that Vitaly Nikulichev?”

“…Yeah… sorry… I don’t know how he called me. He won’t bother us again~”

“Oh, it’s fine! I haven’t talked to him in a while, I was thinking it might be nice to catch up—but that’s okay. We used to date.”

“I know,” I say awkwardly, not wanting to talk about Vitaly.

“We broke up on pretty good terms. I mean, I made some mistakes, he made some mistakes, but in the end we kind of agreed to take a break and never talked again. The spark had just gone. But—I’ve been thinking about getting back together with him, you know? I think I still love him—but I shouldn’t bore you with this.”

I don’t know if I should say that he can tell me whatever he wants to gain his trust or encourage him to change the subject. Yuuri getting back together with my greatest rival would cause me to stab myself with my skates, killing me instantly. “Oh no it’s fine” I tell Yuuri with the voice of someone who’s just been stabbed with a skate, killing him instantly.

“Why was he yelling at you?” asks Yuuri curiously. “You two aren’t—“

The fact that Yuuri would even suggest that I would ever be romantically involved with literal Satan is almost appalling to me, but I say nothing.

“He’s just mad that I’m in Japan to coach you. He wanted me to be his coach when I retired.”

“Are you retiring?”

“No idea. Maybe.”

We sit for a while and then decide to get up and walk to the rink finally. When we get there there are paparazzi and interested onlookers surrounding the doors. Luckily everyone clears the way for us to get through to the doors. Yuuri goes inside before me. As I walk up to the entrance…

Someone drop-kicks me through the doors from behind and I fall to the floor. I roll over in confusion and terror.

“EAT~ SHIT~!” says my attacker.

It’s Vitaly Nikulichev. In the horrible, horrible flesh, hair blowing in the breeze, smacking his Kmart-chapstick-covered lips.

I’m gonna fling myself into the fucking void.

***** end of chapter one*****

I’ve seen the movie this AU is based on and the plot is inaccurate. None of them have ever dated in the past, for one.

who tf is this ^^^^^ and do they know they can highlight text to comment instead of just typing in the document (this is phichit btw, see i’m considerate)

also i said _loosely based_ motherfucker if you think i’m gonna watch that hellshow again for the purposes of this fanfiction then you’re w r o n g

also why have you watched it????????

It’s Seung-Gil. I like bad movies. If you want I can give you a plot synopsis for reference.

Yeah Phichit you need to step up your game and create a 100% Love on Ice-accurate AU

^^^??? pls??? just highlight and comment i can’t tell who you are

Leo lol

I thought Love on Ice was the fanfiction not the movie though??? (guang-hong)

they’re both called Love on Ice

um????? plagiarism???????

For a title you could do Total Drama Ice Rink

I dont know where you got that idea from but its definitely… an idea

please just comment! or text! i can’t tell who any of you are! this is confusing!

*types directly in document anyway like a REBEL*

ok that’s it

i locked it

:) heh

* * *

Well _that_ had certainly been a wild ride. Out of all the things Yuuri had expected Phichit’s fanfiction to include, Vitaly Nikulichev (the boy, the legend) had not been one of them. He wasn’t about to complain, though.

Another text from Phichit:

_did u like it? ;)_

**No I LOVED it**

**That was legendary**

_thanks :) I try_

_I couldn’t think of who to make that younger kid that’s competing against the main character but I didn’t want to make someone up so I just used Vitaly_

_still not sure what i’m going to do for the fruit juice thing. it’s probably gonna be katsudon_

_i think i’m gonna be the ad lady instead of a skater so look forward to that i guess_

**Phichit I barely remember this movie I have no idea what you’re talking about**

_oh_

_well trust me it’s a wild ride_

_so… in light of recent developments… should i send this to viktor???_

Yuuri had known this question was coming. It was a question he’d been considering himself since the very first sentence of the author’s note—would Viktor be upset if he read this? For once in his life, though, he thought he had a definite answer.

**I’ll do it**

**If he was me I would love this**

**I would read it every day probably**

_lol sounds good, tell me what he says also when’s the wedding? ;)_

**slow down lol!**

So at least that was settled. Now all he had to do was wait.

* * *

Viktor’s alarm clock rang precisely at 6:30 in the morning, and he woke up with the first ring. He had barely slept the night before, lapsing between confusing consciousness and disorienting dreams. Most of said dreams revolved around this moment: waking up and texting Yuuri, to varying results. In one, he remembered, Yuuri had been hiding in his closet the whole time. In another he’d been a storm god for some reason.

But this wasn’t a dream. This was the real thing, and it would have real results. Viktor hoped that a good night’s sleep had imbued him with enough rational thinking ability to get his message across without being horribly cringeworthy. And if it hadn’t, well, too bad, because he wasn’t waiting any longer.

Excitedly, he whipped his phone out from under his pillow and re-read Yuuri’s message. Once, twice, three times.  _I like you a lot too. I like you a lot too—_ that was Yuuri! Talking about him, Viktor, using “a lot” and “too” to imply that he reciprocated Viktor’s feelings exactly. If you’d told Viktor a year ago that at this precise moment, he’d be about to determine the fate of his relationship with Yuuri _motherfucking Katsuki,_ and that he could probably get them dating with one sentence, he would’ve mentally kicked your ass for mocking him (and maybe anonymously dragged you via fanfiction.) But here he goddamned was, and it felt _blissful_.

With nervous energy flowing through his fingers, he typed.

Or, more accurately, copied and pasted.

**(** **ﾉ◕ヮ◕)** **ﾉ*:** **･ﾟ✧**

And Yuuri replied, and Viktor screamed, and clapped his hands over his mouth to stop him from screaming again, and screamed again anyway. 

_(_ _ﾉ◕ヮ◕)_ _ﾉ*:_ _･ﾟ✧_ _You’re really cute_

**You too obviously~**

_The whole fanfic thing is really cute too honestly you’re like a great big ball of cute_

_10/10 would date??? haha_

**(** **ﾉ◕ヮ◕)** **ﾉ*:** **･ﾟ✧** **(** **ﾉ◕ヮ◕)** **ﾉ*:** **･ﾟ✧(** **ﾉ◕ヮ◕)** **ﾉ*:** **･ﾟ✧**

**Same here~**

_Sooo should we? lol_

Viktor Nikiforov, at that exact moment, achieved nirvana.

**Yeah~!!!!!!!**

* * *

**PHICHIT I DID IT!!!**

_you sent viktor the link?_

**NO I ASKED HIM OUT**

_DID HE SAY YES_

**YEAH**

_[<img_3153.png>](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/eDr2jrWe5dQ/maxresdefault.jpg) _

**…ok of all the reaction images you could’ve chosen why that one**

_that’s just how i roll yuuri_

_that’s just how i roll_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the image is from the gakuen handsome game. god-tier entertainment.


	14. Sabotage!!! at CNN ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its me, the least timely author, back at you with another fanboy chapter  
> i swear the next one is actually going to be just two weeks, i have a lot more time on my hands now 
> 
> i c a n n o t b e l i e v e that this trash heap is almost at 1000 kudos! i love everyone who's ever done anything relating to this fic, you guys are making me feel so accomplished and good at writing and whatnot and it's amazing, it's such an honor that people enjoy my writing so much and that they read it at all! 
> 
> EDIT: 1000 KUDOS!!! HECK YEAH! THANKS SO MUCH TO EVERYONE!
> 
> <3 as always, hope you enjoy!

“You know what I’m going to do today?” Viktor mused to Yuuri over Skype. “I’m going to tell the fans about Makkachin.”

* * *

  **pudeley**

HOLNY SHIT!!!! HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

**spiceprince**

wait what happened????

**pudeley**

IT’S OVER

H E H A S A P O O D L E

**spiceprince**

HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITT

_8 notes_

* * *

  **pudel-news-cruise**

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156244506@N05/35515247892/in/dateposted-public/)

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156244506@N05/35684196025/in/dateposted-public/)

**C O N F I R M E D**

_#fuck yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhh #viktor nikiforov #poodlegate #makkachin is my lord and savior and i w o r s h i p h i m #ice prince alliance #viten’ka_

_90,328 notes_

* * *

  **ip-alliance-hub**

**WEEKLY UPDATE: MAKKACHIN**

**Normally I would have some sort of relevant tagline here but oh my God.**

You guys, I think I’m not alone in saying that my brain was broken today. Nay, not just my brain: the very fabric of reality was shorn in half. Everything we Ice Prince fans once held to be true has been thrown to the ground and curb-stomped.

Viktor owns a poodle.

Where I live, it was early in the morning when the post hit. I was in the same exact situation as I was in when Viktor tweeted wt2m: on the porch, watching the sun rise, petting my dog and eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

And then my phone buzzed, and I picked it up, and I saw the post.

And I flung my spoon into the lake, fell onto the wooden porch floor, curled up in the fetal position, and screamed.

I’m a simple boy, and I thought I knew what the world was about, before today. I thought I knew what the rules were, how everything worked. This was how it went: every morning I would go out to my porch, watch the sun rise, pet my dog, and eat me some Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Every day I would go to school, and come home afterwards to my dog, and sit on the porch and watch the sun set and eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Every day I woke up and went to sleep secure in the knowledge of four things:  that tomorrow I would watch the sunrise, and that tomorrow I would watch the sunset, and that I would never run out of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and that Poodlegate would continue indefinitely and never be resolved.

It was our backbone, Poodlegate was; our cornerstone. The hearth at the center of the Alliance’s house, warming us during the cold times, during the off-season. It was at the center of our community, and in a way it _was_ our community. Our tireless search for Viktor’s poodle defined us to the rest of the world, and to ourselves. _That,_ we thought, is what the Alliance is about, whether we like it or not; obsessing over the personal life of a teenager in Russia. Knowing that, Poodlegate kept us in check as much as it gave us a common thread of identity. It was something to reason with and around, to balance ourselves and our actions in the fandom against. In short—it was possibly the most important thing that had ever happened to the Alliance.

So what do we do now that it’s over?

It’s a hard thought to cope with. There’s a poodle-shaped hole in the fandom now, one that might never be fully filled. But does that mean everything’s falling apart around us? No. All in all, it seems that the Alliance is strong as ever, and coping well with the onset of a new era unlike any other before.

…But I digress. Enough philosophizing, on to the facts. (Though I’m certain you know them already.)

This morning (afternoon by Russian time), Viktor posted[ a picture of a dog](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw0XwwC8zdk) on Instagram, with the caption _My dog Makkachin! I love him <3 #poodle #poodlegate #confirmed! _ .  He then changed his profile picture to the same one he’d just posted. The dog has been identified by experts within the fandom as… a poodle. Probably. That’s the only thing anyone can agree on, it seems, though [ some](http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/chapters122.htm) contest that dear Makkachin is actually a labradoodle and Viktor is simply unaware. But poodle is the general consensus. And after that? It’s a free-for-all, with Poodlegaters (ex-Poodlegaters?) throwing out theories left and right about Makka’s size, coloration, and name. Here’s a few notable ones:

  *         Makkachin’s color is hotly contested, due to the filter Viktor used in his picture, the lighting, and the general argumentative nature of the Alliance. Color-debaters, likely within the hour the picture was posted, split into two teams: #TeamChocolate and #TeamRed. Team Chocolate believes, obviously, that Makkachin is chocolate, while Team Red believes that he’s somewhere in the medium thru mahogany red range. Check out **team-choco-makka** and **makkachin-is-red** if you want to learn more about the respective teams’ beliefs.
  *         There are three sizes of poodle: toy, miniature, and standard, and there is barely any consensus on which one of these comprises Makkachin. It’s likely he’s either a miniature or standard, judging by the picture, but nobody is sure. Debate rages.
  *         As for Makka’s name, it appears to be completely nonsensical, but nobody is sure. Some think it references the dog’s mocha color, some think it comes from another language, and notably, the controversial **viktorsleftskate** believes it references a gay rights organization from the ‘60s.



But no matter what you believe about Makkachin, it’s clear that today is probably one of the biggest days in Alliance history, and we should all be honored to be a part of it.

_#viktor nikikforov #ice prince alliance #ipa #makkachin #poodlegate_

_65,472 notes_

* * *

  **viktorsleftskate**

**it’s that time again: another post about how viktor is gay**

makkachin, you guys. makkachin. as george lucas once said about jar jar, makkachin is the key to all of this

so everybody knows abt makkachin by now. if you don’t you’re an idiot. anyways, i’m going to cut the crap and get straight into it for this one: makkachin’s name is super super important.

obviously there have been theories abt what makkachin’s name means, that it’s a japanese word for fish or something, i forgot. but what i haven’t seen come up yet is this: _makkachin_ sounds suspisciously like the name of an lgbt rights organization founded in the us in the 60s, the [ mattachine society.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mattachine_Society) coincidence my ass. there’s no way viktor just made up a random string of sounds or something and decided to call his dog that, or spent 5 hrs on google translate or some shit. there’s no way that name doesn’t have some kind of symbolic meaning, and i think this is it. viktor is now confirmed gay (or bi i guess, if ur one of those schmucks who still thinks he dated mila that one time). wow i can’t believe it who could have seen this coming

also, side note: phichit’s official tumblr liked the first post i made about vitya having the hots for yuuri???

_#phichit if ur reading this i’m glad u agree w me #viktor nikiforov #makkachin #poodlegate #ipa_

_31,328 notes_

* * *

 Viktor’s life had reached its peak.

There was nowhere to go up from here. In the span of several weeks, he had risen from near obscurity to the forefront of Yuuri Katsuki’s concern, to the highest position anyone on the planet could hold: Yuuri’s boyfriend. Just a month ago they hadn’t known each other, and now they Skyped on the regular and blew each other kisses. It was so intoxicatingly perfect that Viktor was almost worried—things had never been this good for this long, and if this was his peak, he would have to come down from it eventually—but the sound of Yuuri’s voice saying his name time after time overwhelmed those mulling anxieties straight out of his brain.

That was the best part: hearing Yuuri talk to him. America was some seven hours behind Russia, so Viktor sometimes had to stay up late into the night to meet Yuuri at a convenient time, but that didn’t matter. Yuuri’s voice was so soft, and kind, and caring, and sweet, and about a hundred other saccharine adjectives. And the way those beautiful eyes looked so warmly at _Viktor_ through the glasses he’d always hated but would never say anything about, and the way Yuuri got so prettily excited when Viktor talked about anything, and the way he would rest his head in his hands and chew on the caps of pens and cover his mouth when he yawned, and all the other ways Yuuri did anything ever were the most amazing things Viktor had ever seen.

The way he was laughing now, a toasty snicker with his hand covering his mouth, was amazing too. Yuuri _shook_ when he laughed. It made Viktor want to hug him to try and keep him still. It was all so beautiful—these little ways Yuuri moved. Fanfiction was amazing and all, but it had never given Viktor _this_ , and every second of it was blowing him away.

What was Yuuri laughing about? He’d forgotten what Yuuri was laughing about.

“Have you done it yet?” Yuuri asked through his palm.

Oh—Poodlegate. Viktor had just posted the newest out of his 2000 pictures of Makkachin to Instagram. “Yeah!” Viktor replied. He wished there was a way to verbally convey a tilde, or if there was, that he knew how it was done. Spoken conversations could be improved so much by tildes.

“Oh, wow, we’re probably going to see the reaction to this one on the _news_ , with how your fans are—no offense,” giggled Yuuri.

“None taken—I know how they are!” Viktor savored the moment, the loose grin on Yuuri’s face, the slight blush that was there almost whenever they talked. But he sensed that Poodlegate as a topic of conversation was now spent—he had to find something to keep Yuuri talking, because otherwise Yuuri would just blush and smile and shift awkwardly until Viktor said something.

There was something he wanted to ask about, something he’d been avoiding bringing up. Viktor knew that having difficult discussions was one of the main ways to improve a relationship, at least according to his still-developing logical reasoning skills—but oh, what a difficult discussion this would be.

Yuuri blushed and smiled and shifted awkwardly.

“Hey,” said Viktor, “should I—I mean, is it okay if I keep writing the—thing?”

“Love on Ice, you mean?” asked Yuuri. “Of course!”

“Really?”

“Vitya—“ _Vitya!_ How Viktor _loved_ hearing that—“it’s adorable. I love it—and I want to find out what happens to Vitaly!” Yuuri chirped.

“Oh! Thanks—um—do you think my writing’s—good, and stuff?”

“It’s _awesome_ , Vitya.” Yuuri’s voice crackled through the subpar laptop speaker.

Viktor closed his eyes and smiled warmly. Of course he’d known his writing was at the very least significantly above average, but hearing _Yuuri_ say it made him feel like a regular Tolstoy. “Thanks,” he replied. “And—this might be weird, but I really like it when you call me Vitya, so if you could do that—a thousand times, that would be nice.”

Yuuri grinned. “Sure, Vitya _: Vitya Vitya Vitya Vitya Vitya—“_ he counted them out on his fingers—“ _Vitya Vitya Vitya Vitya._ ”

“That’s not a thousand,” laughed Viktor, cheeks blazing.

“What’s the other one? _Viten’ka?_ ”

Holy _shit._ Viktor was about to _die._ He rolled his raspberry-red face down into his forearms, biting his lip with delight. “Yuuri,” he squeaked, “ _no—_ “

“ _Viten’ka, Viten’ka, Viten’ka—“_

“ _You’re embarrassing me—“_

“Is each one of these like five _Vitya_ s? Can I get to a thousand faster? _Viten’ka Viten’ka Viten’ka—_ that’s five, ten, fifteen—“

Yeah—Heaven.

* * *

  **Love!!! on Ice by katsudon-vitya**

Chapter 10: Sabotage!!! at CNN ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)

AN: So this chapter is dedicated to the “special someone” in my life now… if you’re reading this you know who you are (♡˙︶˙♡) Anyways sorry it took so long, there was some drama in my life but that’s all over and I got a cute boyfriend out of it~~

“Yuuri, it’s not what you think I swear! They just cut it so you can’t hear the rest of what I was saying!” I protest, but Yuuri is sniffling like he’s about to cry.

“Oh r-really? W-what could y-you possibly have been t-trying to s-say… I can’t b-believe you would do this…”

“No Yuuri! I was just talking about how I don’t like being harassed by CNN—“ I start to say but Yuuri is already getting up from the booth to leave and there are tears coming down his face now. I feel so awful and I start to cry too. I get up and follow Yuuri out the doors to his car because he drove me here and I have no other way of getting home, but also because I want to explain what happened to him.

Yuuri gets into the car and starts it. He doesn’t look at me when I get in and when he drives out of the parking lot he doesn’t say anything at all… (╥_╥) I feel so awful for hurting him like this but there was nothing I could have done to stop those bakas at CNN from cutting up that footage the way they did.

“Yuuri” I say breaking the silence “the full sentence I said was “Leave me alone, you’re almost making me wish I wasn’t dating him with all this shit” because the CNN reporters were harassing me and I was getting really annoyed. I wasn’t being serious though, even CNN couldn’t make me want to break up with you~” I tell him sadly.

Yuuri turns and looks at me. “Really?” he asks hopefully.

“Yeah, they just cut the footage so they could make more juicy figure skating drama I guess. Which is a really jerk thing to do.”

“ _Yaro!_ ” Yuuri exclaims in Japanese, which means bastards. “I can’t believe they did that to you! I should’ve known you would never say something like that. You know what we have to do now?”

“Get revenge?” I ask excitedly.

“Oh yeah. It’s _revenge_ time.”

*timeskip*

Yuuri and I are outside the CNN headquarters now. We went home and changed. We’re going on a stealth mission (in case you couldn’t tell) so we’re wearing mostly black. Right now I’m wearing a black sleeveless button-up shirt with pearly white buttons that goes down to my knees and some black leggings and black combat boots. I also have on a black balaclava and black gloves, and my hair is in a bun and tucked up into it. Yuuri is wearing a a black sweater with black skinny jeans and black satin gloves, and a black phantom of the opera mask with a long coat. I feel so cool and Yuuri looks so hot (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ We are really about to fuck CNN’s shit up! It’s wrong, wrong, wrong but we’ll do it anyway because we love a bit of trouble! (Get it because of the balaclava (>ω^))

Yuuri crouches next to the door and starts picking the  lock like a super spy and soon the door is open. I follow him inside making little noise with my footsteps as I go. It’s all dark inside because all the CNN people have gone home. Suddenly we hear a scuffling noise coming from down a hall. Yuuri puts his hand on my chest telling me to stay there and walks down the hall quietly. Then he comes back and whispers that it’s only a janitor and he’s leaving. I smile creepily and we keep walking down the hall.

We come to the central room where they sit and read the news. There’s a news desk and some cameras, as well as a bunch of flashing machines and computers on the walls and a giant fake picture of the city behind the desk. Yuuri drops his black bag sexily onto the floor, and leans down and pulls out a big jar of glitter. He takes the top off and it makes a pop sound. Then he hands it to me… oooh… I like where this is going ( ﾟｏ⌒)

“Should I just throw it everywhere?” I ask whispering.

“Do whatever you want Vitalha~” says Yuuri, winking. Wow~ I love it when he calls me that, it’s so cute, he should say it more often! Even though I’m blushing really hard and super embarrassed don’t think that means I don’t enjoy it~

So I take the jar and just go crazy with it! I grab big handfuls of glitter and throw it all around the room, then I hold the jar out and do a bunch of toe loops all around so I’m spinning and the glitter is flying everywhere out of the jar, getting on all the machines and even on the fake picture of Detroit. Yuuri takes out a can of silly string from his bag and starts spraying it everywhere he can. He starts laughing wildly and I start giggling so hard that I fall on my butt.

Dammit! (*μ_μ) I’m so embarrassed that I couldn’t even land a toe loop in front of Yuuri, and I’m still blushing over the Vitalha thing so with those two things combined my face is now redder than Gerard Way’s hair in 2010. Luckily with the balaclava Yuuri can’t see.

“Oh my gosh I can’t believe I fell~ forget that ever happened please” I giggle embarrassedly.

“Oh it’s fine! I fall sometimes too, you know!” says Yuuri, and reaches his arm out to help me up. The room is coated in glitter and I fell in it, so there’s glitter all over my back. Yuuri notices this and says “Vitya your back is all glittery! You’re going to have to wash that shirt later!”

“Yeah… and when we leave here everyone will be able to see the glitter on my back and people will know that we did this!” I say concernedly.

“I have an idea! You could take it off and turn it inside out”

I nod in approval because that would solve the problem, and walking out without a shirt would look a lot worse than walking out with glitter on my back. People would think I had been ~doing things~ (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

I start to unbutton my shirt slowly. I look up at Yuuri and the half of his face that I can see is blushing hard. “Uhm should I turn around?” he asks.

“It’s okay, you’ve seen me shirtless before~” I say and keep unbuttoning the shirt. When all the buttons are undone I slide the shirt off and it slides onto the floor. Yuuri is still staring at me and blushing. He puts his hands on my arms.

“You are so beautiful Vitalha, you know?” he asks softly.

“T-thanks it’s the lighting~” I reply, blushing under the balaclava.

Yuuri takes off his mask, leans in and kisses me softly. He slides a hand under the balaclava and pulls it off so all my silver hair spills out, and keeps kissing me. He runs his hands through my hair messing it up but I don’t care. We deepen the kiss and Yuuri bites at my lower lip and slides his tongue into my mouth…

Suddenly we hear a loud bang. We pull apart quickly and I grab the shirt. Yuuri picks me up bridal style and starts running as we hear police yelling “Whoever you are, come out with your hands up!” He runs through the hallway and out the door we came in onto the parking lot, and throws me into his car. He jumps over the door into the drivers’ seat and turns it on, and we speed off.

We drive as fast as we can down the highway. Luckily the police aren’t chasing us, I’ve had enough car chases for a lifetime, and soon we pull into the apartment complex and run upstairs to Yuuri’s apartment. We sit down together on the couch and I look at Yuuri and blush, wondering if he wants to make out some more or what. It’s kind of awkward for some reason.

“That was fun!” says Yuuri, breaking the awkward silence.

“Yeah it was” I reply. Then we sit some more and don’t say anything.

Finally Yuuri speaks again. “Hey… so… Vitya… can I ask you something? I was going to ask you back at CNN but we were interrupted…”

“Of course!” I wonder what it is~

“I love you, Vitaly. I love you so so much, and I know we haven’t known each other for very long but I think you’re the one i want to stay with me for the rest of my life. You’re my soulmate Vitalha, I can feel it.”

I almost gasp when I hear that but I manage to hold it in. Me, Yuuri’s _soulmate?_ I don’t know how he could ever want to spend the rest of his life with me… (╥_╥)  “Yuuri are you sure? I’m not good enough to be your soulmate… You deserve better…” I say sadly.

Yuuri wraps his arms around me tightly. “Don’t say that about yourself” he reassures me, “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I love you so much~!”

“R-really?”

“Absolutely.” Yuuri pulls something out of his bag…

…IT’S THE BOX FOR A RING! HOLY SHIT (ಥ﹏ಥ) (((o(*°▽°*)o))) o(≧▽≦)o Is he actually going to PROPOSE??? I clap my hands to my mouth in excitement and shock. He gets down in front of me on one knee and opens the box… there’s a shiny golden ring inside… I’m crying so hard now because I know what he’s about to ask me.

“Vitaly Nikulichev, will you marry me?”

I’m crying and I can’t speak but I nod yes and Yuuri slips the ring onto my finger. “I got one for myself too~” he says and pulls it out and puts it on. I look at our matching rings and how the light shines on them, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life and ever will see.

“I love you Yuuri” I say through my tears.

“I love you too Vitya, I love you too”

AN: I know them getting engaged so early is unrealistic but I couldn’t help myself~ ☆ ～('▽^人) In a real relationship I would never get engaged before dating at least a year, haha~! Thanks to my *ahem* special new friend for helping me with the detailed kissing instructions~

**235 reads, 56 votes**

**katsuki-minami**

OHMYGOSHHHHH :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D I CAN’T BELIEVE THEYRE ENGAGED NOW! )))))))))))))) Vitaly reminds me so much of Viktor Nikiforov… I wish him and Yuuri were dating… I wonder if they actually are though! What if they are and Viktor just hasn’t told anyone yet only his close friends like Mila and Georgi?????? that’s something to THINK about!!!! Also Congratulations Vitya on ur special new friend I hope the sex is good

 

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

o man o man! did NOT see that engagement coming ;D but i support this relationship 100% good chap mon ami, loving it as alwaysss keep it up

 

**number1Phituuri_trash**

AW YISS! the # 1 fanfic couple of all time is ENGAGED? that’s some GOOD SHIT ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆ VITUURI FTW! *squeals*

            **katsudon-vitya**

*squeals with you* Vituuri FTW!

 

**PHICHITPHICHITPHICHITPHICHIT**

A T T E N T I O N E V E R Y O N E M Y O T P I S G E T T I N G M A R R I E D ! ! ! whens the wedding can i come r u gonna cut the cake w ur skates bc u should

 

**yuuri-is-love-yuuri-is-life**

Wow I was not expecting that but it was so amazing! I love Vitaly and Yuuri and this story !!

 

**xX_YuriKat_Xx**

ok they r gona get married now that is gross XP but ok your story is good

            **otabek-s_wattpad_account**

            Yeah, marriage can be an oppressive institution in the way it can force women to remain with men who abuse them due to societal pressures, or vice versa, among other things. Good observation Yura! Maybe “gross” is a little strong, because there are lots of positives to marriage the way I see it (a recognition and validation of love, validation of identity for same-sex couples, etc.) but you make a good point.

**xX_YuriKat_Xx**

            beka i have no idea what your talking about you do this all the time pls stop

 

**candle-crook**

VIKTOR

* * *

  _“’Special someone?’_ Well, he _has_ seemed a lot happier lately,” Georgi mused.  “You’d think he would tell us though, unless—“

“—it’s someone he thinks we wouldn’t approve of?” Mila cut in.

The two slowly turned to stare at each other, realization dawning.

“It’s—it’s Yuuri, isn’t it.”

“Yeah, it’s Yuuri.”

A beat of silence. Both huddled over the tablet screen, staring at the words it contained.

“Should we do anything? I mean, should we tell him we know?”

“No, just wait—you know how Vitya is; he can’t keep his mouth shut.”

Georgi sighed. “You’re right; it’ll come out sooner or later. For now we should just read this chapter, enjoy the ride.”

Mila nodded. “Hope Minami’s in this one.”

* * *

 “Did you like it?” Viktor asked. On-screen, Yuuri nodded.

“It was great! I wasn’t expecting the engagement, but I liked the disclaimer at the end. That you wouldn’t get engaged so early.”

Viktor nodded in understanding. “I put that in because I didn’t want to freak you out,” he said, smiling lightly. “I wanted to make sure you knew I wasn’t crazy or something. It’s just a fantasy—I don’t think it’s real!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Yuuri agreed, “fanfiction doesn’t have to be realistic. In one of mine I made Rin and Haru jump off of a skyscraper and grab onto the—the—things on the bottom of a helicopter; I forgot what they are.” He looked expectantly at Viktor.

“I have no idea what those are called.”

“But you know what I’m talking about, right?”

“Yeah, the—they look like skate blades.” Viktor drew the nameless mechanisms in the air with his finger.

“Yeah, those. Anyway, they grabbed onto those—Rin was holding Haru I think, so he only had one hand—and climbed into the helicopter and got away. It was a Yakuza AU,” Yuuri admitted somewhat bashfully.

“I would read that if it weren’t RinHaru.”

Yuuri snorted. “ _Picky_. Do you never read fic for things you don’t really ship, just to try it? I read MakoHaru sometimes.”

“Well,” Viktor replied playfully, “I’m reading this one about Yuuri Katsuki and an OC, and it’s pretty good, even though I’m a Viktuuri shipper.”

“Have you showed me that? I think you might have mentioned it once or twice—it’s called Love on Ice, right?”

“Yeah, I love it,” giggled Viktor. “They get engaged in the latest chapter. It’s really cute, even if it’s unrealistic.”

“I might give it a try,” Yuuri conceded, grinning.

“You should. I mean, the engagement isn’t entirely unrealistic, I guess.”

“Huh?”

“Well—Yuuri Katsuki is so _irresistible_ that once you’ve got a hold of him you want to make sure you never let go,” Viktor gushed. “Probably, I mean, not that I would know. It’s not like I’m dating Yuuri Katsuki or anything.”

Yuuri laughed. “Thanks,” he said, mildly embarrassed by Viktor’s philosophizing on his virtues. “I feel—I mean, Viktor Nikiforov is probably the same way. That’s a little off-topic I guess, but if I were dating _that guy—_ I wouldn’t give him up for the world.”

* * *

**candle-crook**

alright move over viktorsleftskate because there’s a new viktuuri theorist in town, and boy am i about to drop a BOMBSHELL on you lot

you’ve all seen the viktorsleftskate post where they say that viktor has a private wattpad and reads yuuri katsuki fanfiction. (if not[ here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pupTowgpVVo) because this is required reading for the ipa at this point.)

now i know some of you weren’t convinced by that, and i understand, but for the sake of the rest of this post you need to assume that it’s true…

…because i found it.

let me say that again. i found viktor’s other wattpad account.

[ here it is ](https://www.wattpad.com/user/katsudon-vitya), and it is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen.

so how do i know this is viktor’s  account?

all you need to do is look at the fic. it’s called love!!! on ice and it’s about yuuri falling in love with a kid from russia named vitaly nikulichev. which is really, really, really close to viktor nikiforov—and vitaly and viktor both use the same nickname, vitya. this “vitaly nikulichev” is a skater with waist-length silver hair and blue eyes, so it’s obvious that it’s meant to be viktor. in chapter 9 i think the author calls the mc viktor once. at the time the first chapter of this went up nobody knew about viktuuri being a thing so it seems pretty suspicious that this person was already considering viktor and yuuri as a couple.

…but that doesn’t prove anything. this, however, does.

vitaly nikulichev has a brown poodle named makkachin who comes up in the first chapter. this fic was published over a month ago.

now makkachin isn’t a very common name for a dog, or for anything else considering vitya pulled it directly out of his ass. so there’s no way in hell this is a coincidence. viktor wrote this. the writing style is exactly how he is on twitter too, kawaii emojis included.

viktor wrote (continues to write?) and reads (if you look at the reading list) self-insert fanfiction about himself and yuuri katsuki (and it’s really cute you guys should read it)

that’s not even the best part tho! in the latest chapter he says he’s got and i quote “a cute boyfriend”… so… i’m not saying viktuuri is confirmed but viktuuri is totally confirmed

_#viktor nikiforov #yuuri katsuki #viktuuri #ipa_

_62,427 notes_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the detailed kissing instructions are a link yuuri sent him to a reddit post
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/kierskolth/playlist/37pa5J0Uy1Dcw3dypXRFTJ as always


	15. Reunion, Part 1

Mila sighed as she scrolled through Viktor’s twitter tag. The jig was up for Viktor, it seemed—somehow, someone had found his fanfic, and now the entire Internet had caught on. Viktor, thankfully, had said nothing, but knowing him he was bound to break the silence sometime, and Mila didn’t want to be there for the fallout. If there was one thing Viktor couldn’t do, it was talk his way out of a stressful situation.

He had been incredibly stiff at today’s practice, which was very worrying so close to the GPF—in only a few days, the whole group would pack up and fly to Marseille. Mila had wondered why at the time, given Viktor’s typical prowess, and had chalked it up to some sort of relationship issues—and lo and behold, she’d been right. She did a lot of feeling sorry for Viktor, for there was really a lot about him that warranted sympathy, but this took the cake. If that were her having her greatest secret exposed right before an international competition, she didn’t know how she would cope.

Viktor huddled now in the top-right corner of the stands around the rink, pressed into the walls like a socially anxious wallflower at a gala banquet. Practice was over now, and normally Viktor would go find himself something to eat for dinner—but he hadn’t moved for a while. Mila knew he couldn’t leave for the night until Yakov did, and Yakov was arguing with the same woman again out by concessions, so if Viktor was going to stay like that he had a long, dull evening ahead of him.

Mila climbed the metal stairs up to the top level of the stands where Viktor sat. Viktor turned and gave her an undeservingly dejected look as she sat down next to him.

“Don’t say it,” he mumbled. “Just please don’t say it.”

Mila sighed. “Look, Vitya, I know this is hard for you and all, but don’t let it get to you this close to the Final…”

“You know what happened then?”

“Yeah, Vitya, I—I do.” She patted him on the back rather stiffly.

“And you’re not just over here to mock me?” Viktor asked scornfully. “Because lately it seems like that’s all you and freakin’ Robbie Rotten want to do, take me down a couple pegs.”

“Who the hell is Robbie Rotten? “

“Sorry, I—that’s what I call Georgi in my head sometimes. ‘Cause of the hair.”

Mila watched Viktor’s finger wave around his head to demonstrate the concept of hair, unsure where Viktor had gotten the name Robbie Rotten from, but unwilling to press the issue further.

“Look, I don’t want to mock you, I swear—I just want to help!” Viktor said nothing. “It’s really not that bad, you know. You’ve still got Yuuri at least!”

Viktor snapped up. “What do you mean I’ve ‘still got’ Yuuri? You think Yuuri Katsuki is _ever_ gonna want to talk to me after this?”

Mila wondered suddenly if she and Georgi had been wrong about Viktor and Yuuri’s relationship, if Viktor’s so-called ‘cute boyfriend’ was someone else Mila didn’t know—

But then Viktor decided the ruse was useless, and slouched against the wall again. “Alright—you’re right, yeah. We—started dating a couple weeks ago. I guess the last chapter sort of gave it away… You read the whole thing, then?” he asked limply.

“Uh… I guess this is a bad time to make this confession, but I actually found it, like, as soon as the first chapter was posted… I found your account like a year ago and I thought, y’know, because of the name, ‘Hey, what if this is Viktor?’ so I followed it,” Mila confessed.

Viktor’s face settled into an expression of bewildered confusion, as if the revelation failed to properly parse.

Mila continued. “You know Minami?”

Viktor nodded slowly.

“That was me. Me and Georgi.”

“But you—I mean, he—sent me messages and stuff—and told me what he looked like, and everything—“

“Yeah, that was all us.”

“I put you—in the _story—_ “

“Mhm.”

Viktor just stared, shocked, for a good minute. Mila listened to the distant anger of Yakov as she waited for him to come to terms.

He spoke, finally. “That’s just _weird!”_

Mila had no comment on that. She did, however, have an idea. “Yeah, sorry. I guess it was a bit of a dick move. But if you want, I can make it up to you—You haven’t responded to all the freaking out online, have you?”

Viktor shook his head _no._

“Okay—good—uh, if you want, I can say I wrote it as a joke, you know, to piss you off. People know me pretty well, generally. It sounds like something I would do. Really it _is_ something I would do,” Mila explained. “Love!!! on Ice” had been a great source of entertainment, and it was the least she could do, she thought, to help its creator in his time of need.

Viktor’s eyes lit up. He lunged at Mila’s chest, grabbing her by the shoulders. “That would be _really_ awesome, I would— _Thank you so much!_ ” he exclaimed. His arms snaked around Mila’s back and crushed her into a hug.

“Yeah, yeah—you’re welcome, bud.”

* * *

**Мила Баба**

_@mila-babicheva_

lol @ everyone screaming about love on ice… me n g wrote it to screw with vityas head, nice to see its working

 

**!!ICEPRINCE!!**

_@liktor-viktor_

@mila-babicheva so viktor didn’t actually write it???

 

**Мила Баба**

_@mila-babicheva_

@ liktor-viktor u think viktor nikiforov spends his time sitting around writing love stories about the competition? no friend it was us

 

**!!ICEPRINCE!!**

_@liktor-viktor_

@mila-babicheva dammit

* * *

**candle-crook**

so [mila and georgi actually wrote love on ice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=od-lb6S_4qQ) to “screw with vityas head” apparently so as a joke i guess? my personal theory is that m and g are def. aware of viktor being head over heels for yuuri which is why doing that as a joke works… sort of like they’re mocking him for it by writing cheesy fic, i guess, which is really kind of rude imo but hey they’re friends so who knows

**aubergine-clipart**

do you not feel bad… like… at all? do you realize that if vik actually wrote loi then you exposing that information would be incredibly upsetting to him? he’s not some random fictional concept you know, he’s a real person who feels real fucking feelings, and on top of that ur ~dramatic cute reveal haha viktuuri is canon guys!!!!~ would’ve not only publicly fucking outed him as gay/bi, but publicly exposed his feelings for someone who he probably really looks up to, and none of that is fucking okay.

“which is really kind of rude imo” my a s s. you’re the fucking rude one here. you think if viktor came up to you and you told him “yeah i told everyone about how you have strong feelings for yuuri katsuki haha you’re welcome lol” he would be all “yeah thanks for that hon i appreciate it?” do you fucking really? you think if i found out who you were and told your parents about your tumblr (because there’s no way you’re a fucking adult doing this shit) you would appreciate it? you could’ve ruined viktor’s fucking life!!!

have you no sense of decency?

* * *

  **welcome to the madness by xX_YuriKat_Xx**

Chapter 4: reunion

An: thanks again chris 4 ehlpin me with tha chaptr! also thankyou beka for the things about outer space law and letting me use your thing about morals and also just because you are my friend!!! beka helped a lot with this chatper  everybody so i will say when it is at a part that he wrote, he is a very good writer better then me :3!!! FUCK OF ALL HATERS AND LOSERS you probably all have SHITTY MUSIC TASTE and i don’t care what u think off the story you SUCK!! >:3 HAHAEH ok heres the story now its very emotions, this is the last chapter but if you want i will make part two and an art book also.

MyGr

andfather looks at me and very surprised and then he starts to cry happiliy. “Yura you are alive I thought youd wouldn’t get out of the neko asylum for a long time!”he cries happily.

I start crying too because it’s the first time I saw him in 3 years and i am 15 now and grown up. His name is Nikolai. “Deda Iam do happy to see you too can I come inside please?” I ask sacredly worried hell find out i still killed people. He nods and I go inside and so does Chris and Beka.

“Who are these people?” he asks and I say it’s Chris and Beka and he says

“Ok that is cool.” We go inside and he has tea and fruit juice that he pours out and we drink it. “Wow I am so glad you are back home with me… Sasha left forever to the Kechka region after your parents died so he is gone forever and never coming back but that is alright because he is a dumb loser and mean.” I feel bad for everyone in the Kechaka region because Sasha is over there being mean to them now and hurting theyre feelings.  “After you went to the asylum we found your dad’s diary and it says he hates you and how much of an awful person he was and i am ashamed he was my son, so everyone in the planet understands why you did it so you will be okay here.”

I get up and hug my grandfather and he hugs me too and then he says Chris and Beka can stay there also. But Chris gets up and says

“Sorry Mr. Plisetsky and Yura but I have to go and run my bar… I can’t stay here but I will come and visit… people are wondering where I am probably” I start crying again and so does Chris and even Beka and he never cries ever. Then Chris goes out of the door and his ship takes off into s pace I hope the asylum police will not follow him, but since he is not a Neko the galactic Neko government cannto do anything to him, because it would violate diplomatic relations.

WE have some more tea and fruit juice and then we go to bed upstairs. My room is the same as when I left so it has a cool bed that looks like a tiger and lots of stuffed tigers and my cat is there also! His name is Puma Tiger Scorpion but I call him Potya for sort and he moews at me and I pick him up and pet him. “Wow your room is super cool also your cat” says Beka.

“Thanks his name is Puma Tiger Scorpion”

“Woah”

We go to sleep and then we are having fun the next days, like for instance we ride on Beka’s space motorcycle and say hi to everyone and eat PIROZHKIS!!! they are so good like I remember. Anyways every thing is reallyt great for a week and then there is a knock on the door it’s…

…THE NEKO GOVERNMENT. X(

They have on balck suits and guns and they yell for me to come out. I grab my electric knife and take it out and come into the living room. “No Im not coming with you ever again!!!!” I scream loudly at them. My grandfather comes out to them and shout

“YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM AGAIN! IT WASN’T FAIR THE FIRST TIME EVEN AND I SHOULNDTV LET YOU DO IT SO I WON’T NOW!”

I yell “Deda I will take care of them” but he says

“No Yura you can’t, you aren’t a murder… do not do this…”

I cry because he is right, I shouldn’t kill anyone but I want to very much… I’m getting the angery killing murder feeling again so I know I will attack the Neko Government and kill them…

“Your grandson killed every worker at the Neko Asylum and then we setn people to get him back when he escaped…yes he escaped and he should not be here… and he killed them too… he is insane and he will kill you and you are harboring Otabek Altin who is a fugitive also for being a serial killer (An:I changed it from illegal Photoshop because u said internet piracy is a victimlis crime)”

“Im sorry Deda, I know you think I’m a good person in a bad situation but the truth is I am insane and love killing people and I CAN’T HELP IT!” I cry sadly.

Grandfather stares at me in shocked and says “No Yura… it can’t be true you are a good person I know it!” and he put his head in hands and starts to cry again.

The Neko Government are laughing, ha ha ha they laugh, and say “He is evil… just evil… the most evil person in the whole galaxy, even more than his cousin Sasha who we arrested for being a jerk yesterday! Now he will be arrested too… we rebuilt the aslum and he can have a cell with Sahs and Otabek will be on theother side so they can’t escape again!!!”

Then they start yelling at each other, my grandfather says I am good and the NG (Neko Government) say I am evil only. Everything gets very loud and I am getting angrier and angrier, so angry I am going to bite on my teeth so hard they all will shatter and break adnt ehn I will spit them at the NG’s into their eyes blinding them. But if I attack them now with tooth bits or my knife I will go back to jail for sure instantly and I cannot do that, I went so far…

Suddenly Beka steps in between them very bravely. “OKAY” he yells “THAT IS ENOUGH! Let me explain things

(AN: BEka wrote this part for me when we wre talking and let me use it after, thank you Beka :3 I had to change some things so it would fit in the story) Yura is neither good _nor_ evil. Being honest with you I’m inclined to say that the concept of evil as we think of it doesn’t exist at all, but that’s not relevant to this discussion—Yura has a very complicated psyche, or personality. Think about this: if he were all “evil”, would he want to change? You’ve already

He’s what we call “morally gray”, meaning he can’t be boxed into your standard good/evil binary. Nobody is perfectly good—everybody makes mistakes and does things they aren’t proud of. On the other side of the coin, nobody is perfectly evil. What makes Yura such a compelling Neko is his willingness to admit his mistakes and learn from them, and his desire to push himself towards the side of “good.” This self-reflection and desire for change makes him relatable, in fact, and he seems more like a real Neko being.

Personally I think the concept of “gray morality” as some new area to explore is erroneous (error-filled.) The whole paradigm surrounding morally gray Nekos and “antiheros”, where such Nekos are seen as a radical, gritty, or subversive element, sets anyone who isn’t picking daisies or gleefully stealing candy from babies apart as a special, morally complex “other”, when in reality this “morally gray” or “antihero” category includes literally every Neko on the galaxy. At this point it’s an idea that’s been over-explored in popular fiction. We get it, not everyone is pure good or pure evil. We’re all Nekos. Thanks for reminding us. But this concept is new to you THE NEKO GOVERNMENT so I encourage you to SCREW OFF AND DIE and see where it leads you! Some of your insight into

THEREFORE LEAVE HIM ALONE EVERYONE HE IS TRYING VERY HRAD!!” he yells loudly and angrily.

Everyone stops and stares at him. The NG men stop laughing and lok at him. His face is squinched together in anger and he is sweating from yelling so much words. After a while of waiting in silent awkrwrdly the NG men say

“OK fine, I guess he is not all evil but will he be able to prove that in a cord of laws???? I bet not…. that’s right Plisetskies we are going to do this thing with the legal system, we are going to have a trial and he will be supinad to go to court! You will have to find a lawyer to fight us but the judge and everyone is already on our side! Then everyone will see you are dangerous and youll go back to the asylum!” then they walk back wards out the door and put their guns up and into thir spaceship that is black and has the Neko Government symbol which is a neko head with scary eyes on it.

Me and Beka and Deda all come up and hug each other. The angery feeling goes out from my body once the NG are gone and I relax and fall on the floor and start crying. Beka starts crying too which I have never seen him cry before, so it is nice that I know both of us cry sometimes. So does Grandfather. “Shhhh it’s okay Yura” he says “we will find you the best lawyer, and Beka can help too because I bet he is very good with the laws.”

“Thank you Mr. Plisetsky I studied lots of laws when we were in the asylum, sometimes when they were done torturing me and they left the room there were books in there and I read them.” replies Beka.

We start searching for a lawyer in the next days. The news is everywhere now that I am home and that I will have to have a trail so we start getting offers, they areall too expensive and we cant pay them though so what will we do.

Then one day we are sitting in the living room reading law books and suddenly thereis a knock on the door, i go and open it thinking ‘oh no it is the NG’ but it is a surprise actually because it is…

CHRIS!!!

I gasp and so does Beka and Dead. We all run and hug him and he comes inside and tells us “I started watching g the news from Afselon and I saw how you went on TV and asked for a lawyer, what you didn’t know is I actually used to BE a law before I was a bartender it’s a long story ahaha. So I will help you out for free!” We gasp excitedly and hug him more and then grandfather goes and gets him some food and the next day we start working on the case.

Sometimes NG people come to our house and give us letters but we always close the door on them and Chris raeds them. He wears a lwyer suit and looks very professional and not like a bartender at all. He says I have to go to a trial on Galactic Year 2337 Month 4 the 16th. That is only a few weeks away and I am very worry now.

It is going well but then Beka realizes. “Wait Chris… are you license to practice law here or to represent anyone in a criminal case because there is a difference between regular lawyers and the ones for criminal.” And Chris says

“…oh no I forgot…” and suddenly it is not going well anymore. Im very ngry now, GRRRRRRR I feel like I want to kick something or even be mad at Chris for not being a real lawyer but I stop and breath breaths.

“It is ok we can handle this” (An: BEKA DID WTHIS PART!!!!!!!)

It seems, for a while, as if all hope is lost. Without a qualified and competent legal team there’s no way I can work myself out of this one. The Neko Courts on a planetary level have a history of failing to uphold justice: they’re very quick to convict, and sometimes blatantly corrupt at that. Maybe something’s changed in the three years I’ve been gone, but I doubt it.

Chris’ advice, before we realized that he couldn’t actually represent me, was to plead not guilty of my escape on the grounds that I was being mistreated horrifically at the Asylum. As it turns out he does have experience with criminal law—it’s just that on Afselon and the other Neko planets, criminal lawyers specifically must be licensed as advocates by the government to represent any client in court.

Chris tells me a bit of the case that led him to quit the legal scene and open a bar: a case like mine, where a mentally ill client who had been sent to an asylum facility escaped after suffering years of abuse. In that instance Chris was able to produce evidence of the conditions at the facility, including extensive photographic documentation, recordings and videos, as well as testimony from past residents. While his client won the case, which led to the asylum being shut down after a government investigation, she was forced to return to another facility, as her initial conviction—double homicide—was not overturned. That haunts him, Chris says; the look in her eyes when she was dragged away again. He doesn’t know where she is now. Last he checked, she wasn’t at the facility she had supposedly been interred into, or at least, the higher-ups wouldn’t admit to her being there.

There are still people fighting for her, though, he says. There’s an organization where he’s from—the GACI—that took over her case once he left. Supposedly _they_ know where she is, but after he quit the biz they can’t tell him. I can see the regret etched into his face as he talks, and it seems a little like he has something of a grudge against this GACI, but the mention of the organization piques my interest.

“They’re a nonprofit out of Suva,” Chris replies when I ask about it. “They have some presence in every region, and they get aid grants from the United Galactic Regions, so they’re legit. It’s—they help mentally ill people who’ve been convicted of crimes, with legal counsel, rehab facilities, prisons. Stands for Galactic Association for the Criminally Insane.”

“That’s a bit of an insensitive title, no?” I remark. _Criminally insane_ —that’s what my old lawyer said at my first trial. I had no control over my actions, he said, none at all. I needed to be fixed, to get better, to have the evil cut out of me. And that’s what got me sent to the NA. If I bristle at the term, I imagine there’s others like me who do too.

“It’s been around for ages—they named it in a different time. At this point everyone just calls it Gaci.”

Chris shuffles around the papers he’s poring over. Paper is safer—anything electronic can be hacked, but paper doesn’t have a password. “If you want,” he says softly, “I can try and get them on your case. They’d—I should’ve called them before, Yura, I really should’ve, or at least told you. I guess I just can’t get over ’33.”

’33? It’s only been four years, then.

I look Chris in the eye, and he shifts slightly—waiting for me to admonish him, to lash out, no doubt. And damn if that doesn’t hurt, how easily I anger these days, how easily I turn to teeth and claws instead of words and reason. I thought I might’ve gotten better. The breathing exercises Grandfather taught me help a bit, but.

“Will I get sent back again, Chris?” I ask slow and deliberate. “Are these Gaci people—are they going to try and try as hard as they can just for me to get sent back to some other hellhole?”

“I don’t—“

“Are they gonna do better than they did in ’33? Tell me that, Chris. Can they do better than you did?” I’ve been trying to keep anger out of my tone, but there it is, dark and biting. I purse my lips together tight as Chris winces—I’ve opened up a wound that had only just healed.

“Yura, I _was_ them. I worked for them. That’s why I thought I could practice here—they get you a sort of catch-all galactic license, and I thought mine still applied, but. It doesn’t. They revoke it if you leave—“ He pauses, sighs. “I don’t know how good they’re going to do for you. I don’t know if you’re going to get freedom now or what—and honestly, Yura, sometimes I don’t know if you should. Sometimes I can see it—how you clench your teeth and you look like you’re going to just _lunge_ at me—“

I stand roughly and dig my clawed fingers into my palms, knocking over the standing light we’ve been using to read. It falls and shatters. Sudden energy rushes into the near-bursting veins of my brain—I _do_ want to lunge at him, I do. I want to sink my teeth into his neck and watch his blond curls thrash around as he tries to shove me off –I want to rip my knife out and make it buzz—I whip it from my belt—

Another crash. Chris is pointing a gun at me.

I don’t know where he got it from. Tucked into his waistband, probably, because I’ve never seen him wearing a holster—but he’s launched himself back to the far wall of the living room and he’s got a Bakhii Model 6 plasma pistol out in front of him, finger on the trigger.

I hold my hands up and step back slowly. My arms shake with the effort of keeping myself contained. I’m—I have a problem. They didn’t send me to that place for no reason, and I have a problem, and somehow it needs to get fixed.

I sink to my knees. Chris drops his gun as my hands fall to the carpeted floor in front of me, blood seeping from my palms. I feel weak, as though the force of my rage was sustaining me, and now that it’s let me be there’s nothing to give strength to my limbs. The geometric print of the rug swirls before my eyes. I shake my head.

“I-I see what you mean,” I rasp. “I’m—I’m so sorry, Chris, I swear I wasn’t—I’ve been getting better, I swear, I wasn’t going to hurt you.”

I hear the slow, muffled thumps of Chris returning, until his boot is just below my nose. I look up. Chris bites his tongue and kneels down to me, trembling slightly, the gun discarded on the other side of the room, face drained of blood. Through my heavy, lurching breaths I feel tears—I count those in my head, like I count the swell and crush of my lungs. One, two, three. Chris’ arms drape over me.

Four, five, six. The tears aren’t coming even. I doubt this is doing me any good.

Chris calls up a man from Gaci the next day. We barely interact outside of that, but he tells me that within the next week they’re sending an advocate to review my case. Apparently it seems like they’re going to take it on—they rarely send anyone in person unless it’s serious. My case has been garnering quite a bit of attention in the Neko Unitary Planets and wider Kiperium, and doubtless word has started to leech out. My grandfather released some official statements on my behalf, trying to paint my name in a better light, but I doubt there’s that many people who truly believe I’m innocent of anything.

When the Gaci man arrives I’m taken off guard a bit. He shows up seemingly out of nowhere, only a knock at the door announcing his arrival. Puma Tiger Scorpion pads to the door and sniffs at his pant cuff. He doesn’t much like visitors, I’ve learned—I scoop him up before she can hiss. He wriggles in my arms as the man greets me.

“Yuri Plisetsky, I take it?” He eyes my tiger jacket, the blade strapped to my thick black belt, the cat.

“Yeah. Yeah,” I say, drawing Puma to my shoulder and extending my free hand, “that’s me.”

(AN: Ok so beka youre writing is rely good but it is very very long and too much to read at once, but thank you so much :33333333 :D for being such a col friend and writing all this good things for me!! Ok here is whath append in the rest of it everyone. The gaci man inter views him where he talks about his childhood and then they do all the lawyer things like writing papers, I go on tv and say about my family and where the nekos asylum was very awful and i got tortured. then when the day of the trial happens AND THIS IS THE COOL PART PAY ATTENTION and they’re almost going in he asks chris if hell win and about how trials are and then chris says welcome to the madness LIKE THE BOOK TITLE so that was so cool i put it in here at the end right here.)

“Well, Yura,” Chris says. His stiff-suited arm sweeps the oaken courtroom door wide open. A chorus of bright lights flash behind, highlighting his golden hair—a stunning shot for the news, no doubt. Beka grips my hand tightly as the frenzied rumble of the crowd within reaches us. I’m a murderer! I’m a lunatic! I’ll be locked up for life for sure…

“…welcome to the madness.”

THANK YOU EVERYBODY FOR READING MY STORY EXEPT THE HATERS!

**721 reads, 300 votes**

**e-g-g-p-l-a-n-t-e-m-o-j-i**

woah woah woah :)!!!  you have to write part 2 now, make it a spiffy heckin legal thriller with that special yuri touch! its been a real journey bud and the end is bittersweet i gotta say. but this chappie was phenom, and beka’s part?? blewmeaway? these chars honestly mean so mucch 2 me rn (especially me ;)) and its just… g a h i’m so proud a you yura, m’best author bud, and i luvvvvvvv what this story did even if it ended on the mother of a ll cliffhangers <333333

 

**otabek-s_wattpad_account**

And so it ends! You incorporated my writing in a really cool way—like eggplant said above, I’m proud of you for writing this, Yura. :3 *hugs*

                **xX_YuriKat_Xx**

                :3 *hugs u back*

 

**viktr_9**

OH MY GOD THIS WAS EPIC! it was so cool how it turned into a legal thriller at the end there, and how you talked about good and evil and how yuri was dealing with everything! DEFINITELY make a part 2 and make it soon, please! and tell your friend beka he writes super well!

 

**x-binktop-x**

When I started reading this I liked it ironically but now I genuinely like it and am invested in the characters and I don’t understand why???? Whatever you’re doing keep doing it

 

**I-AM-YOUR-KING**

super cool :)

 

**viten-kachow**

i still want to know if you listen to crystal castles or not. like this is a pressing matter to me. please respond

 

**vnikiforovofficial**

Loved this~ Can’t wait to see more!

* * *

“…so I think we’ll be alright,” Viktor finished. Yuuri licked his bottom lip on-screen—a nervous tic of his, Viktor had noticed. By this point in their conversation his poor lips were on track to chap horribly sometime in the next few hours.

“I want to believe that, but the—there’s an expression. About cats.” Yuuri’s tongue swiped over his lip again. “And bags.”

Viktor had learned that one. His English wasn’t as good as Yuuri’s, but he _did_ have a solid knowledge of idioms from the days when he still went to an actual school. His teacher had been _obsessed_ with them. “Curiosity killed the cat… in the bag?” he supplied.

Yuuri shook his head. “No,” he replied, “I think it’s—the cat’s out of the bag. And you can’t put the cat back in the bag. And the cat is the fanfiction, and the bag is… people not knowing about it, and now we can’t make people not know about it, right?”

“They don’t think I wrote it anymore, though.”

“But they know you’re connected to it, and I think from what you said—and knowing our fans—they’re suspicious of us, or of you, at least. People have been asking about it,” Yuuri said, tone worried. “About us.”

They’d been asking Viktor too. Somewhere along the line somebody, somehow, had even asked Yakov about it, which led to a long and harrowing discussion on several subjects Viktor had never imagined or wanted to imagine discussing with Yakov. The long-abandoned Yuuri Rules were mentioned more than once. There was yelling involved. The end result was that Viktor was once again deprived of his laptop, though he could still video call Yuuri from his phone. Luckily his screen had a high enough resolution to see all the little lip-licks.

“It’s not like they’re ever going to know,” Viktor mumbled. “Nobody can prove anything. They don’t know we’ve even talked.”

Yuuri looked down at his lap, where his laptop was sat. Viktor started a little countdown in his head—he was going to lick his lip in three, two—

But he didn’t. Instead he sighed and returned his gaze to the camera, which fuzzed a moment. “What if they did find out, Vitya? What then?”

It had to be said eventually. But Viktor wished it wasn’t here, wasn’t now—he’d wanted them to meet first, to get their fairytale romance started proper, before any discussion of consequences was had.

“Would it be so bad?”

Viktor’s eyes snapped wide. “Um—yes,” he fired back. That was not what he’d been expecting—he didn’t want to end their relationship by any means, but he certainly didn’t want to make it public, either.

Yuuri winced slightly. That wasn’t what _he’d_ been expecting either, apparently. Maybe Yuuri thought that because Viktor was younger and a bit of an airhead and a hopeless romantic that he’d be enthusiastic about coming out? No, no. Yuuri was the best in the world, well-respected, well-established, and he lived in America most of the time to boot. Viktor was younger and Russian and didn’t even have a Senior win under his belt. He had more to lose—a whole career to sabotage.

“…Why, though?” Yuuri asked quietly.

“Because it would ruin—maybe it wouldn’t ruin your career, but it would ruin mine. I’m not you, Yuuri. I can be hurt more easily.”

“I wouldn’t let them hurt you, Vitya! I would vouch for you; my word means a lot—“

Viktor cut in. “I wish we could. I—I would want to if we could. But—“his lip quivered—“we can’t. Okay? We can’t. We—we haven’t even kissed yet. Our relationship’s not that serious—maybe after we see each other, maybe in a year, I don’t know.”

“You’re not saying never?” Yuuri leaned protectively into the screen. A wave of afternoon daylight streamed through his window and bounced off his glasses.

“I said I don’t know!” Viktor’s lip kept on quivering, the traitor, and now his face began to redden. He turned away. “I’m a coward, Yuuri,” he whispered.

“So am I.”

He looked back.

“Viktor— _so am I._ ”

The door shuddered under the force of a fist. Viktor saw Yuuri startle for a split second before he turned off the screen of his phone and sat on it.

“Who are you talking to?” called Yakov.

“Just Makkachin!”

He couldn’t hear Yakov grumble, but he knew his coach well enough to know that was what he was doing. It was a very distinctive sound, that grumble. Homely, almost.

“Go to sleep!”

When he was certain Yakov had walked away he pulled his phone out again. Yuuri was still on the call—but there was nothing more to say other than goodbye and goodnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it turns out this thing is getting finished!
> 
> honestly there was a point where i thought it was done for. i'd slowly fallen out of love with the story to the point where it was incredibly hard to write, and there were other things i wanted to write more (e.g. this: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11364063/chapters/25438596) 
> 
> but you know what? i love this thing. i want to see it finished both for myself and for everybody who's been reading it. so we're in the final stretch-- there should be two chapters after this, reunion parts two and three. given my track record with setting myself deadlines i can't say when those will be up, but they're going to be up for sure. 
> 
> to everyone who's still reading-- thank you all so much. <3


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